epgenius wrote:Hey, so I know this has been discussed before but the situations I have seen are different from mine so I'm looking for a more applicable perspective. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now and I love her. We met just a month before I graduated college (after my third year) and, for the last 8 1/2 months, have been with each other with me living about 2-2 1/2 hours away, visiting her every other weekend. She's going to be graduating in June and will likely move back in with her parents who are in northern California while I'm awaiting responses from law schools across the country (I'm early at Georgetown and should hear back either today or tomorrow), including 4 schools in norcal. I want to work in government and have dreamed of living and going to school in DC or New York or Boston but, since I've been with her, I feel like my priorities have changed and I don't want to necessarily miss out on being with my soul mate to go to a good school far away. She's speculative about having a very long distance relationship, though I've stated that I'm all in (I find it stupid to break up in order to avoid breaking up eventually) and have no intentions of ending it with her. Her family is very closed-minded and she contends that the only way she could move with me is if we were engaged or something and, while I have pondered asking her, my family would probably kill me and I'm not sure that I'm ready -- financially, especially. Has anyone on here tried to have a long distance relationship while in law school and what are some unique challenges (massive study load, time differences, etc.)? I don't want to give up on my dreams but I also definitely don't want to lose her. Thanks!
She won't move in with you? That's a big, bad, ominous sign, friend. She's not ready, and you are not ready. Frankly, you two sound really young and you don't have a clue about it yet.
Soul mates don't exist. Someone you love passionately does exist, however. Love is not a state of existence, it is an ACT. Your acts must mirror each other. I very much agree with the Coquette analysis, and I have been in a longterm relationship (year and a half with interspersed visits. We even met online) that has worked out. We are now happily married. But it happened before law school. To be completely frank with you, I'm pretty sure we would not have worked out if I had been in law school at the time.
You're still young. If you are absolutely convinced she is the one, you need to fish or cut bait. Ask her to move in. None of this half-ass shit. You are either worth it to her or you are not. And fuck your parents and her parents: you're not marrying them. They don't know a goddamn thing about love except what worked for them. Figure it out for yourself.
Online relationships are not for the meek. It is the half, shadow option that you must take because there is literally not option. It is a purgatory where the objective is to get out of it as soon as possible. It is a purgatory were relationships go to die a miserable, half-baked death because one side 'can't handle it'.
I apologize if this post comes off as rude, but I have been in your shoes, several times. Each one has failed (badly) but the last one. Either live together, or gtfo. You will not like the alternative come finals time.