Pregnant future 1L

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MHR13
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Pregnant future 1L

Postby MHR13 » Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:36 pm

I am really stressing out and was wondering if anyone could offer some advice. Back in March I was accepted into my first choice law school. Exactly a week later I found out I was pregnant. Since then I have been through a roller coaster of emotions. I talked to the dean and let her know of my situation. School said they would give me 11 days after baby was born to stay home then return to school. I'm worried because being that it's my first year in law school which will be something completely new and stressful on its own, how can I do that and have a newborn baby? I have debated if I should wait a year or maybe do one semester in the fall then start again, next fall(if that's even possible). I want to go to law school really bad but I also don't want to put my baby second to anything else. Anyone been in this situation? Or could offer some advice?

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ymmv
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby ymmv » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:15 pm

MHR13 wrote:I am really stressing out and was wondering if anyone could offer some advice. Back in March I was accepted into my first choice law school. Exactly a week later I found out I was pregnant. Since then I have been through a roller coaster of emotions. I talked to the dean and let her know of my situation. School said they would give me 11 days after baby was born to stay home then return to school. I'm worried because being that it's my first year in law school which will be something completely new and stressful on its own, how can I do that and have a newborn baby? I have debated if I should wait a year or maybe do one semester in the fall then start again, next fall(if that's even possible). I want to go to law school really bad but I also don't want to put my baby second to anything else. Anyone been in this situation? Or could offer some advice?


Sounds like the due date might be Decemberish, potentially right around finals? I'd defer your admission to next year.

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Magnifique1908
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby Magnifique1908 » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:21 pm

I was admitted to UT in October of my app cycle, found out that we were having my son in December. I was due two weeks before classes started. I deferred without a second thought. I'm now a rising 3L who will graduate with a "biglaw job."

I also met a wonderful lady in the 1L class last year who was pregnant and due right after their Fall exams. I obviously don't know her situation but she returned in the spring and was employed this summer.

This means that the decision is going to completely personal and you need to weigh what is most important to you and your family. I was a first time mom. I needed to learn how to do that while continuing to work before I tried to do law school with a child. Best decision I've ever made. The other mom already had two children so her transition may have been easier so she was able to power through.

Good luck in whatever choice you decide to make. Feel free to PM with additional questions.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby JamMasterJ » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:50 pm

yeah if you're due around/after Thanksgiving, going this year is a bad decision

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Capitol_Idea
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby Capitol_Idea » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:44 pm

Current law student and father of a baby born this past December (2 weeks before finals) here.

It is hard. Being the mother instead of the father, doubly so. Here're the relevant questions: do you have a supportive and available partner? Do you have family who are in the area or could be in the area to lend support? And do you have the resolve and natural smarts to do better than people who have less going on in their lives and can focus more on studying?

If the answer to any of those is anything other than a resounding yes - then defer if you can. I managed to do it and do well - top 5% at a lower T14, but I A. wasn't the one physically giving birth, B. had family around to help out a LOT, and C. pushed extremely hard to make sure I didn't fall behind the rest of the class.

If you can do it, then you'll have a powerful story to tell at OCI - "I had a kid right around finals and I STILL kicked ass", but if you don't do as well, law firms don't care and will still reject you like any other lower-grade student.

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PepperJack
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby PepperJack » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:53 pm

Conceptually, you can do it. Classes or no classes aren't necessarily correlative to your grade if you still get the concepts on your own. The issue is the stress of a newborn and coming back from surgery just to take exams. Given the importance of first year grades it's a risk if say anything is complicated. If you do well you could probably write a book. Good luck!

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Clearly
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby Clearly » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:55 pm

As a guy I have no idea what this would be like, but I'll say this, I deferred for much less. Take a year then go to school. Also this pregnancy business doesn't exempt you from typical tls questioning lol. What school if you don't mind me asking? Having a young family makes financial decisions doubly important.

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hichvichwoh
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby hichvichwoh » Thu Aug 21, 2014 7:45 pm

Clearly wrote:As a guy I have no idea what this would be like, but I'll say this, I deferred for much less. Take a year then go to school. Also this pregnancy business doesn't exempt you from typical tls questioning lol. What school if you don't mind me asking? Having a young family makes financial decisions doubly important.


actually, this is a good point, the school might matter. If it's YHS you could probably still go because even if your pregnancy distracts you from school the marginal effect on your employment prospects won't be noticeable. If it's a school with fierce competition for a few jobs you should definitely defer if you're set on going.

Mredav44
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby Mredav44 » Sun Aug 31, 2014 11:42 am

do not go to 1L pregnant.

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lawyerxxx
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby lawyerxxx » Mon Sep 15, 2014 2:25 pm

I hate to be a downer here, but I wouldn't go at all for awhile. Babies need a LOT of attention. Once the child is a few years older you would be ok, but only if you have a full time partner to help. Having someone watch the child while in school in only around 1% of the battle. Ask law students how much studying and other work is actually done outside the class room.

If a single mom, I'd say not to do it at all IMHO.

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jbagelboy
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby jbagelboy » Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:48 pm

I had to finish Breaking Bad on netflix fall of my 1L, and I thought that was a crippling distraction for my academics. Can't imagine what a baby would be like.

zoomzoom88
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby zoomzoom88 » Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:52 pm

MHR13 wrote:I am really stressing out and was wondering if anyone could offer some advice. Back in March I was accepted into my first choice law school. Exactly a week later I found out I was pregnant. Since then I have been through a roller coaster of emotions. I talked to the dean and let her know of my situation. School said they would give me 11 days after baby was born to stay home then return to school. I'm worried because being that it's my first year in law school which will be something completely new and stressful on its own, how can I do that and have a newborn baby? I have debated if I should wait a year or maybe do one semester in the fall then start again, next fall(if that's even possible). I want to go to law school really bad but I also don't want to put my baby second to anything else. Anyone been in this situation? Or could offer some advice?



An associate at my 1L SA firm had 2 babies while in law school. She made LR, graduated top 10% and has a biglaw associate position. It can be done.

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lawyerxxx
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby lawyerxxx » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:31 pm

zoomzoom88 wrote:
MHR13 wrote:I am really stressing out and was wondering if anyone could offer some advice. Back in March I was accepted into my first choice law school. Exactly a week later I found out I was pregnant. Since then I have been through a roller coaster of emotions. I talked to the dean and let her know of my situation. School said they would give me 11 days after baby was born to stay home then return to school. I'm worried because being that it's my first year in law school which will be something completely new and stressful on its own, how can I do that and have a newborn baby? I have debated if I should wait a year or maybe do one semester in the fall then start again, next fall(if that's even possible). I want to go to law school really bad but I also don't want to put my baby second to anything else. Anyone been in this situation? Or could offer some advice?



An associate at my 1L SA firm had 2 babies while in law school. She made LR, graduated top 10% and has a biglaw associate position. It can be done.


"can" being the operative term. Did she have a full time partner to help with the kid? Did she live with her parents? All these factors (and many more) make the differences.

caito
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby caito » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:45 pm

Hi OP. Given that it's September, I'm guessing you already made a decision one way or another. Just wanted to offer my support (whether you decided to defer for a year or not). I started law school w a 1yr old, and am happy to answer any questions you may have if you PM me.

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lawyerxxx
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby lawyerxxx » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:48 pm

caito wrote:Hi OP. Given that it's September, I'm guessing you already made a decision one way or another. Just wanted to offer my support (whether you decided to defer for a year or not). I started law school w a 1yr old, and am happy to answer any questions you may have if you PM me.


Did you graduate? Was it fulltime?

caito
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby caito » Tue Sep 16, 2014 8:56 am

lawyerxxx wrote:
caito wrote:Hi OP. Given that it's September, I'm guessing you already made a decision one way or another. Just wanted to offer my support (whether you decided to defer for a year or not). I started law school w a 1yr old, and am happy to answer any questions you may have if you PM me.


Did you graduate? Was it fulltime?



Still in school (class of 2016). And yep, full-time.

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DELG
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby DELG » Tue Sep 16, 2014 9:08 am

lawyerxxx wrote:I hate to be a downer here, but I wouldn't go at all for awhile. Babies need a LOT of attention. Once the child is a few years older you would be ok, but only if you have a full time partner to help. Having someone watch the child while in school in only around 1% of the battle. Ask law students how much studying and other work is actually done outside the class room.

If a single mom, I'd say not to do it at all IMHO.

this is dumb AF

get good childcare for 1L then basically be a SAHM 2L/3L

shit, have another one while you're still in school because it's a great time to do it

mlopez2600
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby mlopez2600 » Thu Mar 12, 2015 3:50 pm

I did it! Had a baby in October of my 1L year. Took a week off and came right back. My 1L first semester grades suffered. Writing class was an easy "A" because I could pretty much do that on my own. Torts was easy. Civ pro and Contracts finals kicked my butt. I have an amazing story to tell and have gotten some amazing interviews and offers for my 1L summer, despite my not-so-great GPA.

Here is some advice to anyone contemplating this in the future:

1. Network your brain off. People will love your story and if you get a chance to explain your grades, you're golden! Go up to guest speakers, attend events, go to Bar Association events, go to CSO.

2. Get into a study group. Even if you aren't a study group person. It is so important to hear the pieces you are missing from other students. I even had an online study group which was better than nothing.

3. Reach out to all of your professors ahead of time so they understand you have a game plan. It is also good to know the school's attendance policy.

4. Read ahead. I was able to schedule my labor. I read two weeks ahead so I wouldn't be AS overwhelmed when I returned. It was still very overwhelming though.

5. Find a good support person at the law school. Whether it is a professor or another student. It helps to have people encouraging you. One professor even gave me her cell # and asked me to text her a pic of the baby.

Hope this helps someone! Deferring is even better if your situation allows it. It wasn't a good option for my situation.

mvp99
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby mvp99 » Thu Mar 12, 2015 3:57 pm

Defer.

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Mr. Elshal
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby Mr. Elshal » Thu Mar 12, 2015 4:29 pm

If it helps, I know a woman who gave birth to three children during law school. She took a leave of absence for each child's birth. Now she's wildly successful. Just defer and get right back into it in a semester or a year.

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DELG
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby DELG » Thu Mar 12, 2015 6:39 pm

mvp99 wrote:Defer.

this seems like a pussy reaction

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JohannDeMann
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby JohannDeMann » Thu Mar 12, 2015 6:46 pm

DELG wrote:
mvp99 wrote:Defer.

this seems like a pussy reaction


mor eimportantly, it's too late to change anything.

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#caltrash
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby #caltrash » Thu Mar 12, 2015 6:48 pm

JohannDeMann wrote:
DELG wrote:
mvp99 wrote:Defer.

this seems like a pussy reaction


mor eimportantly, it's too late to change anything.

Except they can probably still request a deferral...

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Nebby
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby Nebby » Thu Mar 12, 2015 8:13 pm

#caltrash wrote:
JohannDeMann wrote:
DELG wrote:
mvp99 wrote:Defer.

this seems like a pussy reaction


mor eimportantly, it's too late to change anything.

Except they can probably still request a deferral...

This OP was made in August 2014, referencing an admission that came in April 2014, so presumably 1L was going to begin a few weeks after the OP. Wouldn't the decision have already been made by March 2015?

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#caltrash
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Re: Pregnant future 1L

Postby #caltrash » Thu Mar 12, 2015 8:14 pm

That's what I get for not reading things.




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