sundaynightdelite wrote:Aeroplane wrote:Huh? It's not at all uncommon around the world for grandparents and/or other extended family to be caregivers, even primary during-the-day caregivers. It was the case in my family for years. I benefited from it in a lot of different ways. I'm not saying everyone has to do it or that it can NEVER be problematic, but I don't see the problem intrinsically.sundaynightdelite wrote:Since when is it ok to pawn off your kids on your parents or parents-in-laws? I personally do not think I should have a child until me or my wife will be able to take care of it by ourselves without relying on others. I can see how it's nice to have a built-in babysitter once in a while, but I think that even considering the proximity of the grandparents to your house in deciding to have a child is egregious, and these people need to rethink their priorities.
Sorry to be harsh.
My picture of marriage is a man and his wife going off into the world and making it on their own. This is the time when the man leaves his parents or his apt. or whatever and gets his own place with the woman. This is when the couple does things together, w/o the help of anyone. I don't see raising a child as a burden to place on anyone except the parents.
I agree with this, but this is colored by the fact that my uncle and aunt pawned my cousins off our grandparents and my grandmother subsequently ended up getting an ulcer and rheumatoid arthritis partly because she was so tired taking care of 2 toddlers. It is unfair to impose children upon people who have already done their duty raising children years ago and may be dissuaded from turning you down because you are family despite their own concerns. I think that sending your child to day care provides added benefits as well. Children are more likely to adapt to new surroundings and situations, are less likely to be spoiled, and learn how to socialize with other children.