My GF is Expecting

(Study Tips, Dealing With Stress, Maintaining a Social Life, Financial Aid, Internships, Bar Exam, Careers in Law . . . )
Patsfan69

New
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:59 pm

My GF is Expecting

Postby Patsfan69 » Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:07 pm

Hi everyone, first time user. Was curious to get people's opinions...

My long time GF just recently found out that she is expecting (not planned!) and sounds like she wants to keep it. I told her I would support her no matter what choice she made. I'm curious though if I should consider other career options given where I'm currently at in school. I'm in my 1L spring at a tier 2 on a partial scholarship. Total debt should be roughly 60k when I graduate. My GPA is slightly over the 3.0 median.

I'm torn between taking a leave of absence/altering career plans in order to start earning/saving money now in order to afford the expenses that come with a child.

Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

PorscheFanatic

Bronze
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:19 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby PorscheFanatic » Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:15 pm

What were your career plans/options prior to learning of the baby on the way? What kind of salary do most people just above median at your school end up with after graduation?

What would be your other career plan and salary if you were to drop out of law school?

User avatar
floatie

Silver
Posts: 590
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2016 3:39 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby floatie » Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:20 pm

I hesitate to advise you to quit law school altoghter because of the baby, but I understand why that might be a practical solution, at least in the short term. Babies are expensive, you'll be incurring debt, and with your GPA your job prospects will likely be limited to those which will make paying for a baby + paying for loans financially taxing.

A few things to consider:
1. Will you and/or your girlfriend have any help from family after she delivers? My sister-in-law had a baby about 6 weeks before Spring Semester finals, but she was able to stay in school (and amazingly made top 20% that semester) because she had a lot of help from her parents and in-laws.
2. Does your school have a part-time program? If so, that might be worth asking about, as it will allow you to take a job while staying in school. I would only recommend this if your girlfriend will have outside help from family.
3. What obligations does your girlfriend have right now (school, job, etc) and what adjustments will she be making? If she's planning on staying home full-time after the baby, that'll leave you with a very different set of options than if she wants to go back to work/school after having the baby.

Before you do anything, talk to whoever it is at your school that deals with student engagement/academic success/whatever it's called. You're not the first, nor will you be the last, student who has been in this situation.

Patsfan69

New
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:59 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby Patsfan69 » Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:25 pm

I was planning on going into corporate law. Students in and around the median could expect to make in the 60k to 70k range.

I would most likely be able to go back into sales where I was making about the same with commission.

Patsfan69

New
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:59 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby Patsfan69 » Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:29 pm

1. Her parents said they would be willing to help in anyway they can. Mine, not so much but they might come around. Both her parents work full time, long hours.

2. Unfortunately we don't have a part time program.

3. My gf currently works for a hospital assisting with labor and delivery. She would plan on going back to work but by no means makes enough money for a single income (around 35k).

And I am going into speak with our student engagement after my afternoon class! Thanks for the advice!

Ilovemydogxo

New
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:27 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby Ilovemydogxo » Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:37 pm

If she's not going to abort that shit then you should leave her.

Banned for inappropriate posting.

dudders

Bronze
Posts: 498
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 4:56 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby dudders » Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:18 pm

Go for it! Logistically speaking, you will never again in your career have as much free/flexible time as you will 2L and 3L. You can really control your schedule and limit your school days too, to free up time for family QT, being the care provider when your wife is working, and/or working/interning for $.

I went to school with people with kids and having kids and they just figured it out. You will too. Find some at your school and talk to them.

Kirbaeus

New
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2015 6:14 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby Kirbaeus » Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:56 pm

Patsfan69 wrote:Hi everyone, first time user. Was curious to get people's opinions...

My long time GF just recently found out that she is expecting (not planned!) and sounds like she wants to keep it. I told her I would support her no matter what choice she made. I'm curious though if I should consider other career options given where I'm currently at in school. I'm in my 1L spring at a tier 2 on a partial scholarship. Total debt should be roughly 60k when I graduate. My GPA is slightly over the 3.0 median.

I'm torn between taking a leave of absence/altering career plans in order to start earning/saving money now in order to afford the expenses that come with a child.

Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!


My friend just had a child in the middle of 1L year. I also have a 3 year old and am a single father. Family help is critical, but it is doable. My friend received a lot of support from the professors during the pregnancy. You should be done with half of law school by the time the baby comes - then it gets tough. I'd stick it out if being a lawyer is what you really want to do. Focus on finishing 1L year strong to grab a better scholly.

User avatar
bretby

Bronze
Posts: 402
Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:15 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby bretby » Wed Jan 31, 2018 2:09 pm

dudders wrote:Go for it! Logistically speaking, you will never again in your career have as much free/flexible time as you will 2L and 3L. You can really control your schedule and limit your school days too, to free up time for family QT, being the care provider when your wife is working, and/or working/interning for $.

I went to school with people with kids and having kids and they just figured it out. You will too. Find some at your school and talk to them.


Agree with this. You can save a lot of money on childcare by organizing your schedule accordingly 2L/3L and childcare is the most expensive part of having little kids. If this is a career you want, and you can double down and work as hard as possible this semester to raise your grades, there is no reason to drop out. It will just get harder - not easier - to go back to school as the kid gets older.

silenttimer

Bronze
Posts: 180
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2006 11:13 am

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby silenttimer » Wed Jan 31, 2018 2:47 pm

First of all, congrats! Having a child is truly a special experience. I have one and am expecting one more soon.

If you truly want to be a lawyer, do not give up law school. Work your tail off to become a lawyer. You do not want quitting law school to lead to any resentment down the road.

Good luck!

User avatar
LIQUES

New
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2015 6:49 am

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby LIQUES » Wed Jan 31, 2018 2:47 pm

bretby wrote:
dudders wrote:Go for it! Logistically speaking, you will never again in your career have as much free/flexible time as you will 2L and 3L. You can really control your schedule and limit your school days too, to free up time for family QT, being the care provider when your wife is working, and/or working/interning for $.

I went to school with people with kids and having kids and they just figured it out. You will too. Find some at your school and talk to them.


Agree with this. You can save a lot of money on childcare by organizing your schedule accordingly 2L/3L and childcare is the most expensive part of having little kids. If this is a career you want, and you can double down and work as hard as possible this semester to raise your grades, there is no reason to drop out. It will just get harder - not easier - to go back to school as the kid gets older.

Agreed as well. I went from 0 to 3 kids during law school and managed just fine. It gets hard but much easier than doing it once in practice!

User avatar
totesTheGoat

Moderator
Posts: 824
Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:32 pm

Re: My GF is Expecting

Postby totesTheGoat » Wed Jan 31, 2018 4:47 pm

floatie wrote:Babies are expensive, you'll be incurring debt


Nah. That's what everybody says, but it's only true if you want it to be. Births are expensive, but if your health insurance is properly set up, you should only owe a few grand at most. We had the worst possible insurance for a birth, and we owed about $4k on the birth.

We have paid around $150/month for our baby after the birth (plus a few one-time expenses, like a car seat and a stroller). Sure, most of the stuff we have is either secondhand or gifted to us, but it's not like we're depriving her either. We've had to supplement with formula since 3 months and have been solely on formula (and now baby food) since 6 months (she's about to turn 9 months old next week), and the formula eats up most of that $150. We do cloth diapering, so we go through a pack of disposables very slowly (1 or 2 per day at most). We make her baby food from scratch (food processor + boiled vegetables = baby food). We buy clothes and toys from a local resale shop. Most clothes are 50 cents to three dollars. Most toys are 30-40% of what they were new.

It's up to you to decide what's more important. Want to live like college students (baby included) and finish law school, or do you want to have a nicer lifestyle over the next couple years and give up law school for now? I don't think it's impossible to finish up law school, but you and the gf need to be on the same page and realize that the next couple years are gonna suck.



Return to “Forum for Law School Students�

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests