Quotes from Law School

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BlueDevilSarah
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby BlueDevilSarah » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:58 pm

Corsair wrote:
BlueDevilSarah wrote:I was impressed with our Con Law prof's inability to get his own phone number right when he was offering help before the exam.


To be fair, I don't think it was his phone number. The impression that I got was that he was going to be at someone else's place during passover.


I think I passed giving him the benefit of the doubt around week 3 when he managed to make even my last name sound pretentious.

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nonunique
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby nonunique » Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:03 am

When I'm a prof, I'm totally giving out some poor 1Ls number as my own.

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GodSpeed
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby GodSpeed » Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:26 am

"well, we'll come back to you Miss. XXXXXXXX. You couldn't possibly mess this up, but I'll give you a shot it anyway."
Pwnt.

Katdaddy
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Katdaddy » Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:34 am

bumpjon wrote:In property discussing the Takings Clause:

Prof: So there's two types of takings. There's physical appropriations and what? (No one answers, he looks to his 7 y.o. son he borught to class) Do you know?

Son: (looking at legal pad) Inverse condemnation

Prof: See, any 7 y.o. knows that!


I can't wait to play out the above scene 20 years from now.

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GodSpeed
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby GodSpeed » Sun Apr 27, 2008 5:51 am

Katdaddy wrote:
bumpjon wrote:In property discussing the Takings Clause:

Prof: So there's two types of takings. There's physical appropriations and what? (No one answers, he looks to his 7 y.o. son he borught to class) Do you know?

Son: (looking at legal pad) Inverse condemnation

Prof: See, any 7 y.o. knows that!


I can't wait to play out the above scene 20 years from now.



I should never be allowed to teach or interview students. I'd fuck with them so bad. God, the mind games I'd play with 1Ls in an interview.... omg.... ::wipes drool:::

Katdaddy
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Katdaddy » Sun Apr 27, 2008 4:12 pm

GodSpeed wrote:[I should never be allowed to teach or interview students. I'd fuck with them so bad. God, the mind games I'd play with 1Ls in an interview.... omg.... ::wipes drool:::


:lol:

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Formerbruin
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Formerbruin » Fri May 02, 2008 12:23 am

Quotes from Contracts (Keep in mind the guy is about 70)

[On silence acting as acceptance. Student brings up Girls Gone Wild.] "I know. You sign up for Girls Gone Wild New Orleans, and they send it to you, but then they send you Miami too. I know. I have a television."

"Well [the porn industry] is a mini-society, whether or not it's big or little is a different question."

"I'm passing out what appears to be a very formidable handout, but in reality you don't actually have to worry about it."

"The point which I have completely failed to illustrate, despite my best good faith efforts, is this..."

[While doing math on the board and doing the arithmetic incorrectly] "You'd think I wouldn't be such a fool as to keep on doing this... Not so!"

[Student: Well it depends] Professor: "It depends? Yes, it depends. That's right. So, that buys you three seconds. Now what does it depend on..."

"Lettuce is a homogenous community...commodity"

"You're at Best Buy. The manager isn't going to care what you say, because the manager doesn't know anything about Hadley v. Baxendale"

"Ms. Student. You emailed me and said we were going through all of this too quickly, right? And you're confused. Am I putting you on the spot?"

"Having said all that, most of what I've said is irrelevant"

"There is this very famous opinion by Holmes, who, it turnes out, really wasn't all he was cracked up to be."

"Modern economic theory assumes something called the rational actor theory, namely that people do things after calculating risks and rationally making the decision that favors their own best interest. Tell that to Napoleon..."

"Right, exactly. Or to put it differently, blah blah blah."

"The case we're skipping is a case about the meaning of chicken. Whether "Chicken" means roasting chicken or whether chicken means "Bak-Bak-BAKAW" (flapping arms like a chicken)

"I often say you can answer 25% of my questions by saying either "reasonableness" or just naming the title of the chapter we're on."

"Yes the reason you don't understand the trial court's reasoning is that there is no reasoning."

[Student: I don't think the case specifies that] "No, the case doesn't specify. If it did, I wouldn't ask you."

"Typically your offers have to be addressed to the person you're negotiating with. You can't just walk around your house alone making offers and counteroffers."

"I paint your house while you're gone. You get back and I give you a bill for $4600, and I say "what didn't you read Nursing Services v. Dobos? We've got an implied-in-law contract here, buddy!"

(to student) "Now I have another question for you. There's no reason for you to know this. There isn't even any reason for me to know this..."

"I'm not sure if this opinion is right or wrong, but a lot of what the court says is really stupid."

"Williston says a contract may even be formed with a meaning that neither party intended. Huh? What?!"

"Look at all the judges here. It looks like a football team or something."

"So the oil company sets these two guys on fire, and then they say to one of them, 'you are liable for us setting you both on fire.' What's wrong with this picture?"

"I mean, who would even continue reading this stuff. 'Lessor, ts agents and employes shall not be liable, for any loss, damage, injury or causality of whatsoever kind by whomsoever...zzzz" (loud snoring sound)

[Student: Sherwood bought the cow for .055/pound, because he was into cows.] Professor: He was into cows, was he?

"You're shrugging. Why are you shrugging?"

{Fiddling with broken microphone before class} "Hang on, I'll be with you in about half an hour"

"I will tell you how I don't like exam answers structured. What's that four part thing they teach you, IRAC? Whatever. I don't like that."

"When you retain a lawyer for litigation, he promises to be careful and do his best work. When you go to a lawyer and ask him to write you a will, that lawyer doesn ot say, "okay well I'll do my best. Let's give it a try.' You don't want that lawyer."

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GodSpeed
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby GodSpeed » Fri May 02, 2008 1:35 am

Katdaddy wrote:
GodSpeed wrote:[I should never be allowed to teach or interview students. I'd fuck with them so bad. God, the mind games I'd play with 1Ls in an interview.... omg.... ::wipes drool:::


:lol:


My friend and I were sitting around one day shooting the shit talking about the shit we'd pull just for kicks.

Rough day? Call up the local law school and interview the first 3 1L's that show up (for fun, obviously.) Bonus points if you say first 3 1L's that come in dressed in a clown costume.

Have the secretary bring him/her into an office, walk in 5 minutes later...
"Joe, hey how are you doin- whoa!? are you kidding me? Are you serious? God damn it, kids to day! (walk out, slam the door)"
immediately walk back and interview him like that never happened.

another good one: Just make no sense at all.
Sit down. silence, silence, silece.... on your mark.......get set.......GO!
.
.
.
.
.
What the hell? I guess YOU'RE not interested in the position.
Get up, walk out
have partner number two come in, sit down, start the interview normally
Come back in 3 minutes later and sit down while student is speaking a the other partner just walks out. Carry on like you were the one sitting there the whole time.

#3:
Walk in- hey, I forgot something- hang tight for a minute.
Never come back. see how long it takes for them to get up.

#4:
Walk in dressed as a doctor and interview him as though he's applying for a residency. Ask how he's going to overcome the obsticle of not having a medical degree while reaffirming you're confident in his abilities.

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Ipsa Dixit
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Ipsa Dixit » Fri May 02, 2008 1:40 am

So much lolz, Formerbuin and Godspeed! :lol: :lol:

I really needed a laugh.

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Corsair
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Corsair » Fri May 02, 2008 8:11 am

..

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Ipsa Dixit
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Ipsa Dixit » Fri Oct 31, 2008 11:39 pm

I feel the need to resurrect this thread.

Professor: "I am not sure why I just said that, but I am sure it's relevant."

Da Stain
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Da Stain » Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:19 pm

Student: Wait, how can you have liability without negligence?
Very Proper Professor: {Tarzan Voice} Me Professor, you student. Me ask questions, you answer them. Well, okay, I'll play along....

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GodSpeed
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby GodSpeed » Fri Nov 14, 2008 4:16 am

"Well, you can't really own an idea, per se"
Me in my head: You god damn stupid son of a bitch. Ever heard of intellectual property?

"an idea isn't really worth that much."
Me in my head: "It's a good thing we can't bring fire arms to class...."

"I don't think you a company should ever pay for for an idea. They are a dime a dozen. Someone else will come up with the next automobile or computer"
Me in my head: "I dare someone to sit through this class and still promote the idea of intelligent design."

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Fyzzix
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Fyzzix » Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:34 am

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Last edited by Fyzzix on Mon May 23, 2011 9:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PlusEntity
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby PlusEntity » Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:10 am

My Civ Pro professor when covering Rule 11 Sanctions.

"Folks, just try and remember, 'a pure heart and an empty head are not enough'"

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crystalhawkeye
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby crystalhawkeye » Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:30 am

Ok, I'm not even in law school yet, but while visiting W&L, I sat in on a Civ Pro class and heard the following:

Prof: Ok (student name) what's up with this case?

Student: I didn't read it. I sent you an e-mail letting you know I wouldn't be prepared.

Prof: Oh, well I apologize... if that is the case. (to class) For future reference, if you know ahead of time you won't be able to get around to a case, you can feel free to e-mail me and let me know.

...you can see how much good that does.

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aguacaliente
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby aguacaliente » Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:42 am

"If they say obiter dicta, they are saying something terrible about your mother."

prof: "austin, tx is the seat of communism in america, right?"
student"..."
prof: "oh, you know it is. you know you go to those communist meetings out in travis county"

"workers for the state of louisiana have constitutional rights, the state just won't enforce them."

referring to Falwell: "this case is the climax of some events involving a movie hustler made and then a cartoon they published"
slight moment of silence.
"come to think of it, there were probably lots of climaxing in the movie, too"



"this is like the bible: there the thing that happened first, and then there's the rest of it that no one cares about."

"this is your bible (points to the book he wrote/edited). oh, i see you have a used bible. (scoffs)."




"it's not a defense to rape to say, 'well, you shouldn't have worn such a pretty dress'"

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gladiator
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby gladiator » Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:39 pm

Top 25 list for my professors this semester...

(25) Contracts Prof: Sorry I made you read this case. At first I thought-- I was really excited it was a new case not in the last book. And then I read it and it was terrible. We stopped using the old book because it had all these things we didn't like about it. And then we thought, oh, this new book is good with all these new issues. But in fact it had all the same problems as the last. Clearly I did not learn from my personal life in my textbook selection. I didn't learn from divorcing my first wife to hastily marrying my second wife only to learn that there was just a host of new problems, coupled with all the old ones.

(24) CivPro Prof: "[Student,] you’re married, you have no incentive to impress the girls in this class. Go ahead. Say something sexist. I dare you!”

(23) CivPro Prof: So the head in the lap killed us.

(22) Contracts Prof: This is what academics call 'Picking up nickels in front of a steamroller.' It's great to pick up nickels, but dude, eventually you're going to get steamrolled. And then you'll die.

(21) Contracts Prof: NO! You've got to beat that out of you! No. No no no! Beat it out! You've got to BEAT IT OUT.

(20) Torts Prof: What if there's like, this...what if it was a strange skunk...and it sprays you, but it looks like a cat...and when it brushes up against you, it sprays you and you get a rash...so, it's a strange skunk that looks like a cat...this is...maybe a bad example because I'm not sure such an animal exists...but if it did--it'd be ultrahazardous.

(19) CivPro Prof: You weren't getting to it. You were CRUMBLING like a little CHILD. Stand firm MAN! What are you WEARING A DRESS??! Sheesh! I should have just called on a woman!! Stand FIRM!!

(18) Contracts Prof: When we domesticated horses it did revolutionize the economy! As a peasant, I can now plow the field more effectively than when I hitched up my kids to the plow. It also transformed warfare. If you were a rich guy, you got to ride a horse and run down peasants en masse.

(17) Contracts Prof: It's the pigeon on crack experiment all over again. ...what? You don't know the pigeon on crack experiment? Well, you got this pigeon in a box, right? If he pecks hole one, he gets crack; if he pecks hole two, he gets 20 pebbles of food in 20 minutes. So what happens right? The pigeon turns out the same way as humans; he ends up on crack.

(16) Contracts Prof: I'm going to be teaching a course in Dubai. They think they are going to be getting U.S. Contract law, but they’re really getting sheeping versus dogging!

(15) CivPro Prof: Everything my wife and I say to each other is privileged because we're both attorneys and we're constantly expecting litigation from the other.

(14) Contracts Prof: The answer to your question is duckrabbit…..It's like duck or rabbit--am I seeking duck or rabbit?.....yes. …..You're saying its a duck. You're saying it's a rabbit. I'm saying yes. It's duck-rabbit. …..Again, I think it's duck-rabbit. But then I think everything's duck-rabbit....if it's not sheeping and dogging.

(13) Contracts Prof: Who's at fault? Charlottesville! We know what happens when you start playing Frogger! you get splattered! They're at fault for Charlottesvilling it up like doofuses for forcing confrontation between me and the car. I think it's insane! I love Charlottesville, but I want to go get a bagel. I live in the downtown. I have to get killed?

(12) Torts Prof: Hot for your mouth is different from hot for your crotch.

(11) Contracts Prof: Litigation is alternative dispute resolution. It's an alternative to drive by shooting.

(10) Contracts Prof: You care about fact; I care about THE LAW. (later in class) YOU! With your facts! Wait until the law of evidence! There's an entire course on that! Which I've never taken. Because I DON'T CARE.

(9) CivPro Prof: I think [another professor] has a couple multiple choice questions on his Contracts exam. But I'm not a PANSY, so I have only essays on my exam. (later) It's not because I'm scared of [that professor]...I'm not. He doesn't even have a man's name.

(8) CivPro Prof: Who’s Juan and why do we need a pool boy? That’s what my wife asked me the other day. We don’t even have a pool.

(7) CivPro Prof: Issue preclusion is more of a bear. We are going to wrastle that bear on Thursday. What generally happens when you wrastle a bear? That’s not a gay porn reference. I had to wash my eyes out after what I saw on Saturday Night [at the PILA auction]. I thought dirty dancing was just a movie.

(6) Contracts Prof: I only eat organic because I like to be healthy. That's why I drink a gallon of oil and eat baby bunnies for breakfast every morning. But that sounds bad, so I call it "roast lepan" when I'm talking around little Timmy. Actually, we hide far too many things from little Timmy. He's going to grow up to have serious psychological needs. But, fortunately, the med school in Grenada at least is producing great psychologists today. Timmy will have access to the help he needs.

(5) Contracts Prof: What if they put the extremely dangerous liger in a cast iron cage, surrounded by a moat stocked with Austrailian, horned-back crocodiles, and had two guards -- one with a Thompson machine gun and the other with an Uzi machine gun -- and some dude, whose life mission it is to kill ligers, manages to climb the wall, kills the two guards, jumps over the moat in a heroic whoosh, blows a hole in the cast iron cage, and, despite years of training, gets killed by the liger. Are the owners still strictly liable?

(4) Contracts Prof: You bastards! You're now selling us crappy cheap old male chickens...which are only fit for dog food! (later) On my principles, I only eat male chickens so as to increase the marginal population and so hopefully lead to more chick flourishing among the male chickens who lead a tragically short life. (later) And then some japanese dude figures out how to chicken sex and makes a fortune. (next day) I confess, I don't really know much about chicken sexing, at least not from any personal experience. Actually, I don't do much with chickens; I've only ever had one personal experience with chickens. In Kindergarten, we had an incubator project. I don't know, I guess the idea was that you take the incubator home, although I don't know why we couldn't just leave it at the classroom and plug it in over night. But you take the incubator home. And I was so excited to see the eggs hatch and have little chicks running around, male and female chickens alike, but they never hatched. You know why they never hatched? The teacher bought the eggs at the grocery store. And, that's why the eggs never hatched: because of this practice of genocide against the male chicks in the epic of chicken sexing hinted at by the case of Frigaliment v. BNS. Write that down.

(3) CivPro Prof: Sometmes I go home and want to kill myself….luckily I drink heavily…and play with my 1 year old…while drunk…cry on his shoulder a little…

(2) Contracts Prof: I've been asked about the exam and what it will cover. The technical answer is everything we've discussed, but in truth...everything since sandbox. The exam will cover everything you've ever learned since the sandbox. In short, the exam is not testing you on Contracts, it's really testing *you*. If you've learned well since the Sandbox, you'll do well. If you, personally, are not B+ material, then you just aren't. That said, don't take it personally. It's just testing you as a person.

(1) Contracts Prof: I'm not committed to corrective justice because I'm not a weird punitive FREAK. Dude! Why are you being so punitive?! All I want is big pie! That's why I HATE tort remedy! It's such a freakin' CANADIAN position! These canadians with their....Aw God! this professor has this book...the idea...Awgh!...the "Germaine of the Juridical is Corrective Justice" NO IT's NOT! It's BIG PIE! My next article is going to be titled "The Canadian Confusion". Just to annoy them, I'm going to spell Canadian and Confusion with a "K".

RTR10
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby RTR10 » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:45 pm

I think I would have actually enjoyed contracts if I had your prof, Gladiator.

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teaadntoast
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby teaadntoast » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:55 pm

My interest in UVa shot up dramatically as a result of reading gladiator's post.

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crystalhawkeye
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby crystalhawkeye » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:12 am

gladiator wrote:Top 25 list for my professors this semester...



Did you actually remember all these or write them down in some gold, law school professors quote book? (If it was the latter, I would like a copy.)

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viv
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby viv » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:17 am

If you've enjoyed this thread, check out this blog: http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/

Hasn't been updated in a while, but the archives are gold.

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crystalhawkeye
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby crystalhawkeye » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:30 am

From above site:

Labor Prof: I dyed my hair since last we met. That's why I look different. My wife told me not to tell you, but I figured you may want to know what's different about me. I don't really know why I'm telling this to you all.

Yes, viv, there is some gold in that thar' website.

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Pyke
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby Pyke » Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:13 am

Our criminal prof in telling us a story about a couple charged with gross indecency in the 1950s:
"So the couple decided to go downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat, and upon arrival, decided upon eating something else."

Same prof, on explaining how a charge related to possession of pornography, the court came up with the following definitions"
"Classic re-writing of the law, Justice Sapinka says there’s three categories of pornography. He must have watched a lot of (the 150 pornography tapes the individual was charged with possessing) to come up with these standards
1. Explicit with sex with violence
2. Explicit sex without violence but with degrading stuff
3. Explicit sex without violence and without degrading stuff."
Professor went on to point out that the only reason we knew there were three types of pornography was because the Justice said so. :P

I also loved how in that class, the Spanking Reference followed the Prostitution Reference in the textbook. :P

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gladiator
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Re: Quotes from Law School

Postby gladiator » Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:30 pm

crystalhawkeye wrote:
gladiator wrote:Top 25 list for my professors this semester...



Did you actually remember all these or write them down in some gold, law school professors quote book? (If it was the latter, I would like a copy.)


We write some down but there's a girl in my section who complied a lot of them.




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