Quotes from Law School Forum
- nonunique
- Posts: 97
- Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:16 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
I wasn't there for the delivery, but apparently my law&econ prof cracked himself up in an environmental discussion involving "free range beaver"...not a stunner, but made absolutely hilarious if you remember that this is an amazingly dry and boring econ prof. Imagine Ben Stein uttering the phrase and then slowly cracking up until he's doubled over in laughter.
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Re: Quotes from Law School
Rut roh. Gotta fucking love originalists. Assholes.student in response to con law prof's question: "yeah i think dred scott was rightly decided."
- seagull48
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sun Dec 24, 2006 1:51 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
i know, right?! originalism/textualism is sooo the easy way out and they think they're on intellectually higher ground than the fuzzy, wobbly liberals. i love conlaw, but it brings out the very worst in people. another golden moment was when somebody distinguished Gonzales v. Raich from Wickard by saying that there is no market for marijuana.Rut roh. Gotta fucking love originalists. Assholes.
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Re: Quotes from Law School
Professor discussing case analysis People v. Butts in my writing and research class
"Now... as we can see in Butts [*snicker giggle giggle*] sorry... usually I can hold a straight face when I say that."
"Now... as we can see in Butts [*snicker giggle giggle*] sorry... usually I can hold a straight face when I say that."
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- bumpjon
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
In Property today:
Stud: (Describing facts of case and structure of mortgage) And the defendant went in with 4 large.
Prof: (looking confused) 4 what? Is that like 40 Benjamins?
Stud: Or 400 Dimes.
Prof: You know y'all could make any of this up and I'd believe it?
Stud: (Describing facts of case and structure of mortgage) And the defendant went in with 4 large.
Prof: (looking confused) 4 what? Is that like 40 Benjamins?
Stud: Or 400 Dimes.
Prof: You know y'all could make any of this up and I'd believe it?
- GodSpeed
- Posts: 236
- Joined: Wed Dec 20, 2006 12:05 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
my civ pro prof busted out a dance from you got served when we were talking about due process. I was startled and amused.
- Curious George
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Re: Quotes from Law School
That sounds an awful lot like those bad jokes my uncle would repeatedly recite to me when he started getting tipsy.jmo7 wrote:Crim law professor telling about courtroom conversation with guy who had been accused of murder.
texas ranger brings in shovel that was thought to be used to bury the body.
defendant's reaction: "we've got them sons of bitches now, they got the wrong shovel"
By the way, I love this thread.
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Re: Quotes from Law School
From the BARBRI Civ Pro Lecture -- that guy is classic, btw.
"Another 4-4 vote with Stevens refusing to pick a side. I don't know what the guy is doing. Smelling flowers or something."
"Another 4-4 vote with Stevens refusing to pick a side. I don't know what the guy is doing. Smelling flowers or something."
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Re: Quotes from Law School
In a professional responsibility seminar:
"Nothing's coming in Brooke Shields, er, I mean near Brooke Shields."
"Nothing's coming in Brooke Shields, er, I mean near Brooke Shields."
- bumpjon
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
In Con Law discussing State Action Doctrine: It's kind of like Sesame Street. (Miming putting people in boxes on the white board) If you take a state trooper, firefighter, the mayor, and a McDonald's employee. (Singing) One of theses thing are not like the other...
In Contracts (same class where Prof. asked about student campaigning on fact that he's not a sex offerder) discussing Jacob & Youngs v. Kent: Hey, if anyone comes over to you house and asks to see your pipe I guess you could take them into your utility room and let them squeeze your water heater. (Prof. realizes what he's saying) Hey guys, I'm not the registered sex offender!
In Contracts (same class where Prof. asked about student campaigning on fact that he's not a sex offerder) discussing Jacob & Youngs v. Kent: Hey, if anyone comes over to you house and asks to see your pipe I guess you could take them into your utility room and let them squeeze your water heater. (Prof. realizes what he's saying) Hey guys, I'm not the registered sex offender!
- wiki.entertainme
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:12 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
hahahahhahahhahaha.....ajlrf03 wrote:
Prof: "Mr. [last name]"
Student: "No, sir, it's actually [actual last name]"
Prof: "Don't you lie to me! It's right here on my roll sheet!"
that is so hilarious...I LOVE this thread btw....
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Re: Quotes from Law School
Another Barbri lecture on special damages needed to be pleaded with heightened specificity:
"In addition to pain and suffering, the guy had an erection that wouldn't go away! My wife has been pushing me in front of cars ever since!"
"In addition to pain and suffering, the guy had an erection that wouldn't go away! My wife has been pushing me in front of cars ever since!"
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- bumpjon
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
In property discussing the Takings Clause:
Prof: So there's two types of takings. There's physical appropriations and what? (No one answers, he looks to his 7 y.o. son he borught to class) Do you know?
Son: (looking at legal pad) Inverse condemnation
Prof: See, any 7 y.o. knows that!
Prof: So there's two types of takings. There's physical appropriations and what? (No one answers, he looks to his 7 y.o. son he borught to class) Do you know?
Son: (looking at legal pad) Inverse condemnation
Prof: See, any 7 y.o. knows that!
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Re: Quotes from Law School
Prof today in Con Law discussing Lawrence v. Texas:
You know I can't watch a sports game without seeing an ad for Viagra. Sometimes I have a consenting partner. An adult consenting partner. I'm getting older, and all I can think about is what she needs. I don't need the law in my bedroom because then I can't perform. And then she won't like me anymore.
You know I can't watch a sports game without seeing an ad for Viagra. Sometimes I have a consenting partner. An adult consenting partner. I'm getting older, and all I can think about is what she needs. I don't need the law in my bedroom because then I can't perform. And then she won't like me anymore.
- bumpjon
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Re: Quotes from Law School
In Evidence discussing Lay and Expert Witnesses when prof. advanced powerpoint slide to a sliade titled "Lay Witnesses" when the guy next to me leans over and says "I thought we weren't allowed to do that"
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Re: Quotes from Law School
It depends, if it is your witness, it is ok, if it is opposing counsel's witness, it would be witness tampering.bumpjon wrote:In Evidence discussing Lay and Expert Witnesses when prof. advanced powerpoint slide to a sliade titled "Lay Witnesses" when the guy next to me leans over and says "I thought we weren't allowed to do that"
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- bumpjon
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
Either way I don't think it's allowed. However, nothing would prevent you from trolling the halls of the courthouse finding witnesses to lay from other cases.
- kktoot
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:43 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
"Fiduciary comes from Latin... 'fido' for faithful.... with a douche--not exactly Latin--in the middle there. Fye-douche-iary."
- BlueDevilSarah
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- Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:15 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
I asked my Con Law prof for some sample questions to prepare for his exam (this was right before spring break)
"I'm going to give you some advice, a secret really. No one ever takes my advice, but here it is for what it's worth. The best way to prepare is not to practice.....it is to study."
Then he looked really pleased with himself, even though his yarmulke was balanced on the side of his head like a jaunty beret. I'm very impressed with myself for not smacking him.
"I'm going to give you some advice, a secret really. No one ever takes my advice, but here it is for what it's worth. The best way to prepare is not to practice.....it is to study."
Then he looked really pleased with himself, even though his yarmulke was balanced on the side of his head like a jaunty beret. I'm very impressed with myself for not smacking him.
- nonunique
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Re: Quotes from Law School
A certain ConLaw prof mentioned immediately above also offers this reassurance in response to his students "reading too much" into a decision:
"Often the answer to why the Court held this way or why the Court held the other way is because one argument had five votes and the other had four."
Yogi? Is that you?
"Often the answer to why the Court held this way or why the Court held the other way is because one argument had five votes and the other had four."
Yogi? Is that you?
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- kktoot
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:43 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
Another one. Coming across a lot from my property professor as I read my notes... final on Monday.
"It's hard enough to find someone in this life to love, what should their internal or external plumbing have to do with it?
"It's hard enough to find someone in this life to love, what should their internal or external plumbing have to do with it?
- BlueDevilSarah
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- Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:15 pm
Re: Quotes from Law School
I was impressed with our Con Law prof's inability to get his own phone number right when he was offering help before the exam.
Seriously? What are you waiting for?
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