There are always interesting remarks coming out law school so share them

I have one from a favorite prof that I wrote down a while ago because it was pretty much the best statement of grading I have heard.

Professor (after going over the exam and model answer in class): "You may be thinking to yourself, 'My answer was way better than that one!', but clearly *I* did not think so."

Prof to student

"Listen, I'm not harping on you to be an asshole; I do that naturally"

Prof asks student a simple question about a case requiring a Yes/No response.

Student: Yes.

Prof: Can you think of a shorter, more accurate word for your answer?

Regarding South Dakota v. Dole: "Unruly South Dakota, always causing trouble."

On whether gun control in school zones falls under the commerce clause: "Packing heat isn't commercial."

Comparing Heart of Atlanta Motel to Gibbons v. Ogden: "A motel is like a pier for people."

From a property case about disclosure: "The house is haunted as a matter of law."

Crazy Con Law professor dismayed with a student's advocacy when discussing the government's position in a case: "Oh my. Have another cheezit."

Crazy Con Law professor re: grammar
"Ugh. Oh... you just used impact as a transient verb. Oh. You're killing me.

And at the end of class: "Have a good weekend everyone, and, Miss X, please don't ever use impact as a transient verb again."

Then there was the Ks prof with bowties who always stuck his tongue out and made weird noises... I can't really quote that, though.

Professor is talking about Plato and his belief that the "gold" level of people should all screw eachother to produce new generations that are as diverse as possible. Proffesor is a little audad, a little absentminded:

"So what did Plato think of promiscuity and fidelity as virtues? About multiple sexual partners?"

Silence

My byrd is sitting next to me and he says:

"Ms. Dunning, you know alot about this subject, Don't you?"

As it later turned out, he must have known something I didn't

My two favorites from first semester

"What really happened is a tree falling in the forest, unheard by a lawyer."
- Civ Pro

"Are you in fairy-land? Or some platonic cave?"
- Con Law, directed at me in response to my making a natural law argument about human rights! (good times...)

Crim law: "Am I aware of a substantial and unjustified risk of death? Yeah, that's how I drive."

Contracts: "If you sign, you can't whine."

"Can you be sued for dying? I mean, can you die negligently?"

About transaction costs in contracts (which have to be written by lawyers): "We have located the problem. It is us."

Civ Pro, after conceding that I had perhaps made the dumbest remark of the semester:

"No, Mr. Eremite, that was not even the dumbest remark of this class period."

These are all quotes from my Evidence Professor:

"I don't wanna have a mutiny on my hands"
"It's not like it's gonna help your grade"
"If I do my job, it'll be down from 70 to 40 in two weeks"
"You could have told me that it was something that I did, and I'd believe you."
"You know, the new Hillary they've been talking about"
"In relying on in vino vesitas, the witness may have given valuable testimony"
"I sure hope you don't think I'm sniffing because I just snorted some cocaine before class"
"If my goat ate your cabages, it wasn't my goat. If your cabages were eaten, they weren't your cabages. If my goat ate your cabages, my goat was drunk."
"When I was in Central Park, I saw this guy with a raincoat (opens jacket), but it had nothing to do with the weather."
"Well, the Victim is dead, so the only dragging was of his corpse out to the gurney."
Lawyer 1: "I object! That evidence is prejudicial!" Lawyer 2: "I sure as hell hope so! I'm trying to introduce evidence against you!"
"Now you're thinking like a lawyer. Clients come to you and pay $400/hr to hear, 'possibly'!"
"Well, if I start drinking at 2, I'll go to Crystal at 5 and get some cheeseburgers."
"Before y'all leave, I want you to help me sabotage these sons of bitches."

those are priceless.

hahah that one made me laugh at loud. I couldn't ever imagine a teacher saying that lol.

Imagine it in the THICKEST Alabama accent you can find...and on a recent state supreme court justice.

Torts Professor at least once per class: "Perfectly Wrong!"

Awesome property professor:

hahahahaha!

Professor: "I'm not prepared for class today because the Oscars were on last night. I'm going to take a pass today; you can teach yourselves."

Ks professor explaining that he's taken pity on us and moved our midterm so that it doesn't coincide with our CivPro midterm:
"So when you snap, just remember that I was the nice one. Shots to wound only. My family crest was 'not in the face.'"

CivPro2 Prof on sovereign immunity:
"There's only one problem. We don't have a king. Except Elvis. And he's probably dead."

Oh yeah, same CP2 prof on Breyer quoting/citing to him all the time in decisions:
"I don't know how someone could read so much of my work and continue to always get it wrong!"
and
"Justice Rehnquist...now there's an oxymoron."

How about favorite quotes from cases?


"It should be apparent by now that this little niche of the law of privacy is dominated by Larry Flynt's publications." -Posner, discussing publication of nude photos of a woman in Hustler without permission.

"The issue is, what is chicken?"

Frigaliment Importing v. BNS Intern

"there is no harm in asking."

- Samms v. Eccles

Hahahah - I love Frigaliment.

Non - great civ pro quotes.

non, may I ask where you attend?? that prof sounds hilarious!

AO