Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

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Drummingreg
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Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby Drummingreg » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:04 pm

I'm a 1L and I reached out to a few alumni and a couple have been giving me enormous amounts of help and advice. They sent old outlines without me asking and gave pages of good information about interviewing, classes, OCI bids, etc. I want to get them a little gift to show appreciation. Do you think that's appropriate? Maybe like a bottle of wine or a gift card? Also, both of these alums work at firms I would want to work for. What is a tactful way to approach the subject of seeing if they could help me get an interview?

Pancakes12
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby Pancakes12 » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:08 pm

I'm a 0L but this just seems a little weird/briby

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Drummingreg
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby Drummingreg » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:11 pm

Pancakes12 wrote:I'm a 0L

Then what are you doing here?

Pancakes12
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby Pancakes12 » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:27 pm

Drummingreg wrote:
Pancakes12 wrote:I'm a 0L

Then what are you doing here?


Giving what I believe to be advice that can be given on the basis of common sense

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stillwater
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby stillwater » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:29 pm

.
Last edited by stillwater on Mon Jan 20, 2014 1:23 am, edited 2 times in total.

09042014
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby 09042014 » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:31 pm

If opposite sex (or both gay), give up da booty. That's what he is after.

Otherwise, just say thanks.

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SemperLegal
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby SemperLegal » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:36 pm

A bottle of wine and a nice note (or just a nice note) is probably a good idea, just on human decency standards. However, I don't think it will have any negative effects if you don't.

I mean, if you were making any other life decision and someone went out of their way to be helpful, I would think we would all be gracious enough to say thanks.

BigZuck
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby BigZuck » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:50 pm

1L here so my opinion counts.

Just say thanks bro. You're creeping me out with the wine thing.

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stillwater
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby stillwater » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:52 pm

a sincere thank you would probably be best.
Last edited by stillwater on Mon Jan 20, 2014 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:53 pm

Pancakes12 wrote:
Drummingreg wrote:
Pancakes12 wrote:I'm a 0L

Then what are you doing here?


Giving what I believe to be advice that can be given on the basis of common sense

0Ls are not supposed to post in this forum. viewtopic.php?f=3&t=170599

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cynthia rose
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby cynthia rose » Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:49 pm

I would recommend something inexpensive (no more than $20, maybe $25) but thoughtful. If you know enough about them get a gift related to one of their interests. If not, there are some nice wines in that price range, assuming you know how to pick a good wine and that they actually drink. These people know you're on a student budget so it really is not expected of you to spend a lot of money on them (honestly a gift is not even expected at all, although I'm sure the thought will be appreciated). It could even be off-putting if it's obvious you did spend a lot. Not crazy about the gift card idea, but this is just a quirk of my own - they tend to feel impersonal, just one step above sticking some money in an envelope. And frankly $20 doesn't go very far at a lot of places.

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Helmholtz
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby Helmholtz » Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:53 pm

Don't give them anything. That's just weird.

daryldixon
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby daryldixon » Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:10 pm

Just say thanks. Gifts make it weird.

Despite what other posters will tell you a sexual favor is only appropriate if the level of sex matches the level of help they gave you. In this case an OTPHJ (over the pants hand job) would be appropriate. If you have sex with these guys now they will have no incentive to give you a job in the future. On the other hand an OTPHJ says, "Hire me and you may get much more."

09042014
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby 09042014 » Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:15 pm

daryldixon wrote:Just say thanks. Gifts make it weird.

Despite what other posters will tell you a sexual favor is only appropriate if the level of sex matches the level of help they gave you. In this case an OTPHJ (over the pants hand job) would be appropriate. If you have sex with these guys now they will have no incentive to give you a job in the future. On the other hand an OTPHJ says, "Hire me and you may get much more."


OTPHJay is an insult to a fine and noble gentleman.

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kalvano
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby kalvano » Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:18 pm

No gifts necessary, and it would come off as a little creepy to me.

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BaiAilian2013
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby BaiAilian2013 » Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:26 pm

Yeah I would be creeped out by a gift. Just say a sincere thank you.

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jn7
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby jn7 » Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:37 pm

IMO it could be weird to buy a gift unless you know them well. Why don't you just schedule a day and buy them a drink or 2 after work. I don't think you can really go wrong there unless you show up with flowers or something

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yossarian
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby yossarian » Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:53 pm

In my current sector (nonprofits, ed, and gov policy stuff) in my current region (Indianapolis) small gifts are definitely considered nice, not creepy gestures.

To just do that for them being helpful, then in my current environment, it would be something to do to mark a period of time or a personal event. Once you finish interviewing at OCI, when you accept an offer, etc. This way, it eliminates the possibility of it being interpreted as a bribe. And it gives you something concrete to say in the notes. "I just finished my interviewing at OCI, and I just wanted to thank you for being so helpful throughout this process. I really learned a lot from our conversations, and I'll be sure to keep you updated about how things turn out, etc, etc"

All of this above, however, is specific to my region, and my current (non-legal) industries.

I'm curious as to where everyone who would be creeped out is from. I bet the answer is actually a bit regional.

Thoughts on whether location impacts the answer? Or would, say, it just be inappropriate in biglaw across the board?

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SemperLegal
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby SemperLegal » Sun Jan 19, 2014 8:05 pm

yossarian71 wrote:In my current sector (nonprofits, ed, and gov policy stuff) in my current region (Indianapolis) small gifts are definitely considered nice, not creepy gestures.

To just do that for them being helpful, then in my current environment, it would be something to do to mark a period of time or a personal event. Once you finish interviewing at OCI, when you accept an offer, etc. This way, it eliminates the possibility of it being interpreted as a bribe. And it gives you something concrete to say in the notes. "I just finished my interviewing at OCI, and I just wanted to thank you for being so helpful throughout this process. I really learned a lot from our conversations, and I'll be sure to keep you updated about how things turn out, etc, etc"

All of this above, however, is specific to my region, and my current (non-legal) industries.

I'm curious as to where everyone who would be creeped out is from. I bet the answer is actually a bit regional.

Thoughts on whether location impacts the answer? Or would, say, it just be inappropriate in biglaw across the board?


I think there is just a general risk-aversion, and slight lack of social skills/etiquette on TLS. There is a nearly zero percent chance a small gift will help, and a negligible, but existing chance that it would be considered creepy or a bribe. So, of course, the TLS wisdom is not to draw that kind of attention on yourself. However, as a regular human being, its considered completely normal to give small gifts to people who are going out of their way to mentor you.

I normally give and receive gifts at an major milestones to people who were a help in getting me there, it makes people feel appreciated.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Sun Jan 19, 2014 8:09 pm

yossarian71 wrote:In my current sector (nonprofits, ed, and gov policy stuff) in my current region (Indianapolis) small gifts are definitely considered nice, not creepy gestures.

To just do that for them being helpful, then in my current environment, it would be something to do to mark a period of time or a personal event. Once you finish interviewing at OCI, when you accept an offer, etc. This way, it eliminates the possibility of it being interpreted as a bribe. And it gives you something concrete to say in the notes. "I just finished my interviewing at OCI, and I just wanted to thank you for being so helpful throughout this process. I really learned a lot from our conversations, and I'll be sure to keep you updated about how things turn out, etc, etc"

All of this above, however, is specific to my region, and my current (non-legal) industries.

I'm curious as to where everyone who would be creeped out is from. I bet the answer is actually a bit regional.

Thoughts on whether location impacts the answer? Or would, say, it just be inappropriate in biglaw across the board?

Seriously, what part of this
A. Nony Mouse wrote:0Ls are not supposed to post in this forum. viewtopic.php?f=3&t=170599

was unclear?

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yossarian
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby yossarian » Sun Jan 19, 2014 8:10 pm

SemperLegal wrote:
yossarian71 wrote:In my current sector (nonprofits, ed, and gov policy stuff) in my current region (Indianapolis) small gifts are definitely considered nice, not creepy gestures.

To just do that for them being helpful, then in my current environment, it would be something to do to mark a period of time or a personal event. Once you finish interviewing at OCI, when you accept an offer, etc. This way, it eliminates the possibility of it being interpreted as a bribe. And it gives you something concrete to say in the notes. "I just finished my interviewing at OCI, and I just wanted to thank you for being so helpful throughout this process. I really learned a lot from our conversations, and I'll be sure to keep you updated about how things turn out, etc, etc"

All of this above, however, is specific to my region, and my current (non-legal) industries.

I'm curious as to where everyone who would be creeped out is from. I bet the answer is actually a bit regional.

Thoughts on whether location impacts the answer? Or would, say, it just be inappropriate in biglaw across the board?


I think there is just a general risk-aversion, and slight lack of social skills/etiquette on TLS. There is a nearly zero percent chance a small gift will help, and a negligible, but existing chance that it would be considered creepy or a bribe. So, of course, the TLS wisdom is not to draw that kind of attention on yourself. However, as a regular human being, its considered completely normal to give small gifts to people who are going out of their way to mentor you.

I normally give and receive gifts at an major milestones to people who were a help in getting me there, it makes people feel appreciated.


THank you for being a person.

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stillwater
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby stillwater » Sun Jan 19, 2014 8:11 pm

.
Last edited by stillwater on Mon Jan 20, 2014 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

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goldeneye
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby goldeneye » Sun Jan 19, 2014 8:31 pm

No. This would be creepy. Like a bribe. You're a poor law student and they make bank. Say thanks and offer coffee sometime.

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skers
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Re: Gift for associate that has been giving advice?

Postby skers » Sun Jan 19, 2014 8:47 pm

If you're going to do anything, invite him out for brews.




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