The value of classmate relationships?

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How Do You Feel About Your Classmates?

Great long-term connections
42
43%
Nice for now, but I don't see myself staying in touch
25
26%
Insufferable talking-heads with no clue
30
31%
 
Total votes: 97

ClownQuestionBroz
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The value of classmate relationships?

Postby ClownQuestionBroz » Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:36 pm

At orientation, Deans frequently talk about how you will be friends with many of your classmates for life. . .

How do you feel about your classmates?

Is it better to keep to yourself or make as many connections as possible?

How much energy should 1Ls, 2Ls & 3Ls be investing into these relationships?

Has a relationship with a classmate provided you with long-term value?

I'd love to hear many perspectives. . . Go!

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SemperLegal
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby SemperLegal » Thu Dec 05, 2013 2:04 pm

You will spend three years with them at minimum. You might as well enjoy it.

Also, some of my law school friend's have rich families. I've managed to due some pretty cool golf, gun, and gut things on someone else's daddy's dime.

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chem
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby chem » Thu Dec 05, 2013 2:09 pm

I. Am. Robot. Must compute. Value. of. Having Friends.

Valuable?
Initiate Friendly protocol alpha

Not valuable?
Ditch fleshbags

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RemyMarathe
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby RemyMarathe » Thu Dec 05, 2013 2:12 pm

1L fwiw

GENERALLY, make friends, because you know, you're a human.

I like most of them though I can only spend so much time around them as I'm highly strung and have a hard time relaxing around people with that same tendency.

I see people at my school who are generally friendly, to everyone it seems, and also those who see it as a networking exercise. The latter is fine and even a good idea so long as it's not done in a smarmy fashion. What return they get on this remains to be seen. Being completely anti-social OR being out and about but openly hostile toward particular people would seem to hurt you, but duh.

I'm not at a T14 that will send people all over the country, so it may be different, but because most people at my school will stay in this state, it does seem that some future referrals will result from people's LS friendships.

blong4133
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby blong4133 » Thu Dec 05, 2013 4:47 pm

I made a few very close friends while I was at school, but generally, most of them were either colossal douche bags or just annoyed the heck out of me.

But you've got to at least make a few friends. I would have went nuts if I didn't have those few close friends there to hang out with on weekends and whatnot. It's nice to have some people that are in the same situation who you can have a beer with and watch a football/hockey game with or hit the links with on the weekends and study with during finals.

One of my buddies and I studied for every final together, and we talked on the phone every night while studying for the Bar trying to help each other with various subject we were struggling with.

Overall, I made about 10 or 15 close friends from all over the country that I will keep in touch with the rest of my life.

But there were more than a few who I hope I never have to hear their voices again. When I found out that those select individuals failed or passed their state's bar exam, it made me a little happy/sad, respectively.

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alicrimson
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby alicrimson » Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:45 pm

I think there's always value in making friends. I mean, really, why not? I have a hard time believing an individual when they say that their entire school is filled with mindless drones...except for them, of course. In cases like that, I think, more often than not, the person who hates everyone actually has the problem.

I've really enjoyed getting to know my classmates, and intend to maintain friendly relationships with many of them. Of course, I go to a school in a state where most students will stay, so I could possibly be encountering my classmates whether I wanted to or not. I don't think there is anything inherently awful or different about law students. They have personalities and interests that are pretty similar to everyone I've encountered outside of law school.

Overall, I've enjoyed my near three years of law school and like my classmates. Of course, I might be biased, because I'm in a LTR with one of them.

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Presidentjlh
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby Presidentjlh » Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:46 pm

Friends, what a concept

FamilyLawEsq
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby FamilyLawEsq » Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:30 pm

Although I practice law in PA, it is nice to have classmates who are federal judges in Texas and Ohio, and state judges at various levels in at least 5 other states. My law school roommate is a judge. I've made and received referrals to/from classmates all over the country. Unfortunately, I do not get to socialize with them much anymore, although my husband and I are stopping in NJ on the way back from Boston this weekend to see one of our favorite drinking buddies. She was, and still is, a real trip. They argue over who won a drinking bet from 2L...the one who chugged the pitcher of beer the fastest (my husband) or the one who kept it down (my friend).

You never know when you will need to or want to reach out to one of your classmates.

Liam
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby Liam » Sat Dec 07, 2013 6:54 pm

I'm not sure whether it's goofier that this guy needs to seriously ask about whether making friends is worth the effort, or that he waited until the end of his first semester to start thinking about that.

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gdane
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby gdane » Sat Dec 07, 2013 7:20 pm

Relationships are key in life friend. Don't ever think "oh I don't give a fuck about these people. I'll have a badass job and they're going to be unemployed." No. You don't have to be best friends with everyone. Just be friendly. Build a reputation as a chill, nice, and decent guy. Don't build a reputation as a cocksucker. You never know when you'll need someone you went to law school with to vouch for you.

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fltanglab
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby fltanglab » Sat Dec 07, 2013 10:26 pm

You want to have a good reputation with your classmates. I'm not super close with most of my classmates, but I'm kind to them and I'll help them out if they need help. If I find a lead in a practice area I know one of them is interested in, I'll for sure let them know. Also you never know who may have just met someone who will be important to your career.

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northwood
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby northwood » Sat Dec 07, 2013 10:30 pm

law is a social profession, you need to be social, and to that extent be known as a good person..

unless you want to be a miserable robot, make friends and socialize

Swimp
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby Swimp » Sat Dec 07, 2013 10:34 pm

This is a weird thread.

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stillwater
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby stillwater » Sat Dec 07, 2013 10:36 pm

you need to be suspicious of these people. they are the competition. they come, knives out...w/ smiles.

guinness1547
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby guinness1547 » Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:08 pm

They are of no value. They have nothing to offer you socially or intellectually now or in the future. Feel free to ignore them. At most they will slow you down. Don't let this happen. You're better than that. You'll get nowhere in life with these "relationships". Connections? Your professors will respect your special intelligence enough to be all the connections you need.

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brotherdarkness
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby brotherdarkness » Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:48 pm

.
Last edited by brotherdarkness on Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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BluePurgatory
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby BluePurgatory » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:21 am

BluePurgatory's Friendship Tally:
People I would actually continue to talk to if I graduated tomorrow: 5
People who I would still offer likes to on Facebook for life-changing achievements: Around 14
People in my extended friend group that I drink/spend the most time with: 21
Friends whom I enjoy seeing around at bars, but would probably never hang out with otherwise: 16
Girls I will talk a lot more to once they don't have boyfriends: 3
Girls in my year that I dated whom I avoid like the plague now: 1

Basically, don't suffer through "making connections" just for the sake of making connections. I did that in undergrad and it became a grind, but I realized in law school orientation that there are a lot more personalities that annoy me, and I don't want to put any effort into making relationships in those cases. I'll still be amiable of course, but I don't go out of my way to meet people I don't find interesting. Get a social circle, if you meet people who are interesting outside of that circle, switch it up sometimes. It's not rocket science. "Connections" with your classmates that are based on you having a semi-awkward chat with them during lunch break aren't going to be a solid "investment" if you want to think about it that way. Only hang out with people you like. Also, for reference, I'm only 21 and thus young and naive.

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Scotusnerd
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby Scotusnerd » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:25 am

Depends on your area and the size and collegiality of the bar. Small area with high collegiality? Better get used to them. Some of your classmate are gonna be writing your paychecks or serving in the state legislature. I'm not so sure about other states, but around here, getting a job from an upper-level student who is clerking at a firm is a recognized and encouraged form of career advancement.

That said, no one likes a suck-up. Just be yourself and hang out with people you like. Don't try to be in the "in" lawschool crowd. Nothing is more embarrassing than a bunch of nervous 1Ls competing for social prestige. Especially after some beer.

thesteelers
Posts: 218
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby thesteelers » Sun Dec 08, 2013 6:21 pm

As someone who has made friends in law school but is not a part of the "in" crowd AT ALL, I think this is a weird question. You're a human being who socializes, right? So talk to people in law school and find someone you sincerely like. Hang out with them and get to know them better. Get drunk with them. Jeez, why does this have to be explained?

On the other hand if you are asking us if you think you need to force yourself to be friendly with disagreeable but popular/successful classmates, then the opinion seems to be divided. I personally chose not to do this. Others did, and it seems to have benefited them in some ways. So it's up to you.

Going off of BluePurgatory's tally:

People I would actually continue to talk to if I graduated tomorrow: 9
People who I would still offer likes to on Facebook for life-changing achievements: Around 20-25
People in my extended friend group that I drink/spend the most time with: 12
Friends whom I enjoy seeing around at bars, but would probably never hang out with otherwise: 10-12

ClownQuestionBroz
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby ClownQuestionBroz » Sat Dec 14, 2013 4:43 pm

OP here. Bumping this for more feedback.

For reference: I am not a 0L. I am 2L at a T14.

I am not interested in advice on how to play nice with the other kids. I'm sure the 50% of TLSers who voted that their classmates are "insufferable talking heads" still advocate being an amiable guy or gal. I am asking whether or not these relationships will really have long-term value. I'd love to hear some anecdotes from those who have tangibly benefited.

Just to be clear comments like this are not beneficial to anyone. . .
GENERALLY, make friends, because you know, you're a human.
I'm not asking whether or not there is value in having friends. I'm not six years old and this isn't http://www.DrPhil.com.

Comments like this have value:
Although I practice law in PA, it is nice to have classmates who are federal judges in Texas and Ohio, and state judges at various levels in at least 5 other states. My law school roommate is a judge. I've made and received referrals to/from classmates all over the country. Unfortunately, I do not get to socialize with them much anymore, although my husband and I are stopping in NJ on the way back from Boston this weekend to see one of our favorite drinking buddies. She was, and still is, a real trip. They argue over who won a drinking bet from 2L...the one who chugged the pitcher of beer the fastest (my husband) or the one who kept it down (my friend).


It is interesting that some comments assert that making friends and connections with your classmates is beneficial and valuable as though it is a foregone conclusion. Meanwhile half of the voters disagree. And, the sample size is growing. Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Wearthewildthingsr
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby Wearthewildthingsr » Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:50 am

get a small crew of people you know are good fellas

the rest are competition capiche?

shock259
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby shock259 » Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:05 am

chem wrote:I. Am. Robot. Must compute. Value. of. Having Friends.

Valuable?
Initiate Friendly protocol alpha

Not valuable?
Ditch fleshbags


Can't stop laughing at this.

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redsox
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby redsox » Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:16 am

Definitely keep to yourself.

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

-Paul Simon

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rollinthedice
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby rollinthedice » Sun Dec 15, 2013 4:55 pm

Dig the Simon lyric.

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Legacy Rabbit
Posts: 244
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Re: The value of classmate relationships?

Postby Legacy Rabbit » Sun Dec 15, 2013 5:29 pm

redsox wrote:Definitely keep to yourself.

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

-Paul Simon


Paul knows best.

1. Focus on your grades.

2. Sharpen interview skills (OCI).

3. Decorum is more than enough to get a long with people. You do not necessarily need to be their friend. You can always meet beneficial people through the alum network.

Seriously, do you need to know more people?? The only benefit (I suppose), is more likes on FB (if you are into that sort of thing).
However, if the "friend" is actively challenging you to do better, than maybe you can keep them around.




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