Wedding during fall of 1L?

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smorgs2010
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Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby smorgs2010 » Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:12 pm

Would I be completely insane to try to have my wedding in the fall of 1L? I just got engaged about a week ago, and my fiance and I would love to have the wedding this October or November. I haven't chosen a law school yet, but I imagine my finals will be in mid December. We're going to have the wedding in San Antonio, Texas, so waiting until the summer is not an option (way too hot, and we want the wedding to be outdoors), but trying to squeeze it in before I start law school is both too soon AND too hot. We would love a fall wedding, but we're not willing to wait until after a graduate.

I would love to hear from current/former law students about how intense fall 1L is. Does it get to be more and more stressful as the weeks tick by, or is it equally stressful across the board? We might consider spring break of 1L if fall seems too difficult, but winter break is off the table (don't want to compete with Christmas).

Thank you ahead of time for you help!

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3|ink
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby 3|ink » Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:17 pm

Do it in early November at the latest. 1L isn't really "crazy" but there's no reason to ruin your wedding day with pre-exam stress. It's bad enough that your wedding day basically marks the end of your life.

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izy223
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby izy223 » Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:18 pm

smorgs2010 wrote:Would I be completely insane to try to have my wedding in the fall of 1L? I just got engaged about a week ago, and my fiance and I would love to have the wedding this October or November. I haven't chosen a law school yet, but I imagine my finals will be in mid December. We're going to have the wedding in San Antonio, Texas, so waiting until the summer is not an option (way too hot, and we want the wedding to be outdoors), but trying to squeeze it in before I start law school is both too soon AND too hot. We would love a fall wedding, but we're not willing to wait until after a graduate.

I would love to hear from current/former law students about how intense fall 1L is. Does it get to be more and more stressful as the weeks tick by, or is it equally stressful across the board? We might consider spring break of 1L if fall seems too difficult, but winter break is off the table (don't want to compete with Christmas).

Thank you ahead of time for you help!



Im getting married a month after my spring finals of 1l and im worried its too close to finals to be safe.

YOU DO NOT WANT A WEDDING ON YOUR HEAD FIRST SEMESTER OF 1L YEAR.

That being said, i dont see a problem with a late feb early march wedding (have all of january to plan) or a early feb 2L year wedding. You do not need to wait till after you graduate.

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dextermorgan
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby dextermorgan » Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:20 pm

Spring break would be a much better idea. If you have it in October or November you aren't going to be able to enjoy newlywed life at all, it will be wedding, exams, job searching, christmas, job searching, school.

smorgs2010
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby smorgs2010 » Tue Feb 12, 2013 6:24 pm

Thank you guys for the feedback and suggestions. I'm beginning to lean toward spring break from the tone of your comments.

Some other context for you: I've been with the fiance for four and half years, and we've been living together for most of that stretch, so I don't imagine our relationship will change once we're married, and we're fine waiting awhile until the honeymoon. I should also note here that I'm very likely attending UT Law, so I'll be very close to the wedding location.

What about September? Is the first month of law school any more easygoing than the rest, or is it a tough adjustment period? I mean, I work full time. How different can it be? (Said the naive little girl...)

Thanks again - I really appreciate any input on this, since we want to lock down a date and venue ASAP.

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cinephile
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby cinephile » Tue Feb 12, 2013 6:28 pm

Do you get a fall break? I know someone doing it then. WInter break might be easier, you're done with exams and have some time to relax together, but outdoors won't be quite so nice.

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tstyler98
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby tstyler98 » Tue Feb 12, 2013 9:08 pm

Also, many schools have their final memos due in early or mid November, so doing a wedding in October or November might be hard. Spring semester is probably better.

BizOwner
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby BizOwner » Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:16 pm

I got married October 1st of my first semester. It turned out to be during my mid-terms. I didn't have mid-terms in every class but my grades on those mid-terms were affected. The important thing to understand is that your life outside law school is always more important. ITE the employment market sucks, so sacrificing once in a lifetime opportunities (i.e. honeymoon etc) is not worth it. Live your life. As a 2L or 3L you'll understand what Im telling you better.

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rhcp47
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby rhcp47 » Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:26 pm

smorgs2010 wrote:Thank you guys for the feedback and suggestions. I'm beginning to lean toward spring break from the tone of your comments.

Some other context for you: I've been with the fiance for four and half years, and we've been living together for most of that stretch, so I don't imagine our relationship will change once we're married, and we're fine waiting awhile until the honeymoon. I should also note here that I'm very likely attending UT Law, so I'll be very close to the wedding location.

What about September? Is the first month of law school any more easygoing than the rest, or is it a tough adjustment period? I mean, I work full time. How different can it be? (Said the naive little girl...)

Thanks again - I really appreciate any input on this, since we want to lock down a date and venue ASAP.



I'll be attending UT this fall and the SO and I are considering a spring wedding during the break (in Colorado though). We've also been together for a while, but figure that I'll have a better grasp on studying and expectations during the second semester and it gives us more time to plan. Life doesn't stop just because of law school, but it might be less complicated and stressful to hold off until the spring (also, who is going to do most of the planning? If it's going to be you, I definitely suggest waiting).

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SilverE2
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby SilverE2 » Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:30 pm

BizOwner wrote:ITE the employment market sucks, so sacrificing once in a lifetime opportunities (i.e. honeymoon etc) is not worth it.


Uh...what? While the employment market is not very good, there is no reason for someone to hurt their chances even more. Plus, marriage isn't exactly what I would call a "once in a lifetime opportunity." If anything, 1L year is much more of a once in a lifetime opportunity.

OP, do you have to do it during 1L? I assume the dude or gal isn't going anywhere, what's the big hurry?

BizOwner
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby BizOwner » Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:26 pm

SilverE2 wrote:
BizOwner wrote:ITE the employment market sucks, so sacrificing once in a lifetime opportunities (i.e. honeymoon etc) is not worth it.


Uh...what? While the employment market is not very good, there is no reason for someone to hurt their chances even more. Plus, marriage isn't exactly what I would call a "once in a lifetime opportunity." If anything, 1L year is much more of a once in a lifetime opportunity.


Obviously, you aren't married. The first year of law school isn't nearly as important to the spouse/S.O as it is to the law student. If you think law school is more important than the most intimate relationship you will have in your lifetime, good luck to you. I'm sorry, but that's one side of the statistical chart I don't want to be on.

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stillwater
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby stillwater » Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:51 pm

BizOwner wrote:
SilverE2 wrote:
BizOwner wrote:ITE the employment market sucks, so sacrificing once in a lifetime opportunities (i.e. honeymoon etc) is not worth it.


Uh...what? While the employment market is not very good, there is no reason for someone to hurt their chances even more. Plus, marriage isn't exactly what I would call a "once in a lifetime opportunity." If anything, 1L year is much more of a once in a lifetime opportunity.


Obviously, you aren't married. The first year of law school isn't nearly as important to the spouse/S.O as it is to the law student. If you think law school is more important than the most intimate relationship you will have in your lifetime, good luck to you. I'm sorry, but that's one side of the statistical chart I don't want to be on.


LULZ. You can't get back fucking up law school either and the debt it incurs. Your SO should be able able to understand the importance of one year.

Pokemon
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby Pokemon » Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:57 pm

BizOwner wrote:
SilverE2 wrote:
BizOwner wrote:ITE the employment market sucks, so sacrificing once in a lifetime opportunities (i.e. honeymoon etc) is not worth it.


Uh...what? While the employment market is not very good, there is no reason for someone to hurt their chances even more. Plus, marriage isn't exactly what I would call a "once in a lifetime opportunity." If anything, 1L year is much more of a once in a lifetime opportunity.


Obviously, you aren't married. The first year of law school isn't nearly as important to the spouse/S.O as it is to the law student. If you think law school is more important than the most intimate relationship you will have in your lifetime, good luck to you. I'm sorry, but that's one side of the statistical chart I don't want to be on.


Isn't nearly as important? Most marriages end in divorce, whereas 100% of law school debt does not get discharged in bankruptcy. Also, why not try have both? Marry after 1L if you want to celebrate the joys of honeymoon etc....

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izy223
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby izy223 » Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:29 am

BizOwner wrote:
SilverE2 wrote:
BizOwner wrote:ITE the employment market sucks, so sacrificing once in a lifetime opportunities (i.e. honeymoon etc) is not worth it.


Uh...what? While the employment market is not very good, there is no reason for someone to hurt their chances even more. Plus, marriage isn't exactly what I would call a "once in a lifetime opportunity." If anything, 1L year is much more of a once in a lifetime opportunity.


Obviously, you aren't married. The first year of law school isn't nearly as important to the spouse/S.O as it is to the law student. If you think law school is more important than the most intimate relationship you will have in your lifetime, good luck to you. I'm sorry, but that's one side of the statistical chart I don't want to be on.



from someone with experience i pushed off my wedding till the end of my 1L year (getting married in june) your an idiot. First off the spouse should want you to push off the wedding. Second, when your married and have this intimate relationship, is the intimacy gonna pay your debt and for your house, or maybe the statistical chart.

Take it from someone with experience DO NOT GET MARRIED DURING YOUR 1L YEAR. I am engaged now and even just being engaged is a commitment that is taking up my time. I wouldnt even know how to handle if was about to get married (like more the 5 months away)

BizOwner
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby BizOwner » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:14 am

from someone with experience i pushed off my wedding till the end of my 1L year (getting married in june) your an idiot. First off the spouse should want you to push off the wedding. Second, when your married and have this intimate relationship, is the intimacy gonna pay your debt and for your house, or maybe the statistical chart.

Take it from someone with experience DO NOT GET MARRIED DURING YOUR 1L YEAR. I am engaged now and even just being engaged is a commitment that is taking up my time. I wouldnt even know how to handle if was about to get married (like more the 5 months away)[/quote]


"From someone with experience"? You aren't even married. Immature jackass responses such as yours are so commonplace among law student/attorney hopefuls that its hardly worth the time dissecting your ideas. I may be the idiot, but I went to law school on a full ride and will graduate with no debt. By the way, did I mention I continued a very profitable business while getting married, performing judicial and attorney internships, and attending school full time. If you can't manage a simple law school schedule, all the while prioritizing your personal relationships and responsibilities, what makes you think you can do that once you start practicing law? It doesn't get less stressful than what you have now.

BizOwner
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby BizOwner » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:21 am

Isn't nearly as important? Most marriages end in divorce, whereas 100% of law school debt does not get discharged in bankruptcy. Also, why not try have both? Marry after 1L if you want to celebrate the joys of honeymoon etc....[/quote]


Do you realize that you just classified debt as more important than marriage? Keep up that mentality and marriage will be an uphill battle.

I don't disagree with you about working out both. My whole point was to live your life and don't put important life decisions secondary to law school. If the OP and fiance(e) were considering getting married during the OP's first semester, then I'm sure they have reasons why they are considering that time frame. Life decisions aren't only based on academic calenders.

BizOwner
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby BizOwner » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:24 am

[quote= LULZ. You can't get back fucking up law school either and the debt it incurs. Your SO should be able able to understand the importance of one year.[/quote]


Life decisions aren't always so easy.

Hutz_and_Goodman
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby Hutz_and_Goodman » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:34 am

I wouldn't do this. 1L first semester is very stressful already.

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northwood
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby northwood » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:53 am

The entire year of 1L is hell. actually, the entire duration of law school is hell ( up to and includng the bar). I personally would push it back to at least fall 2L, if not spring 2L, when your GPA is pretty much set ( assuming you dont transfer- in which case, i would push it back even further)

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northwood
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby northwood » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:56 am

actuallly, i know someone who got married during fall 1L. they went to the courthouse, with just them and their families- got married, and then went out to dinner.( only close family members knew- and a small group of 1L'ers, no outside family or other friends, and they blocked all l.s. friends from fb for a while to be safe). they are planning another ceremony in a church for august.

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izy223
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby izy223 » Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:01 am

BizOwner wrote:
from someone with experience i pushed off my wedding till the end of my 1L year (getting married in june) your an idiot. First off the spouse should want you to push off the wedding. Second, when your married and have this intimate relationship, is the intimacy gonna pay your debt and for your house, or maybe the statistical chart.

Take it from someone with experience DO NOT GET MARRIED DURING YOUR 1L YEAR. I am engaged now and even just being engaged is a commitment that is taking up my time. I wouldnt even know how to handle if was about to get married (like more the 5 months away)



"From someone with experience"? You aren't even married. Immature jackass responses such as yours are so commonplace among law student/attorney hopefuls that its hardly worth the time dissecting your ideas. I may be the idiot, but I went to law school on a full ride and will graduate with no debt. By the way, did I mention I continued a very profitable business while getting married, performing judicial and attorney internships, and attending school full time. If you can't manage a simple law school schedule, all the while prioritizing your personal relationships and responsibilities, what makes you think you can do that once you start practicing law? It doesn't get less stressful than what you have now.[/quote]


Bizowner im so happy you took the time to tell me your illustrious career. I'm proud of you I truly am, when I grow up I want to be you, please help me do this. Oh wait never mind I just went through your posts and realized your full scholarship is to an instate school. Go to a real school with actual competition and then ill humor your delusional ideas.

Now back to the OP; 1L year is stressful and tough, IDN about you but I wouldnt want my first 2 months of marrige, ie nov and dec, to be while my spouse is studying for finals pretty much all day. You have the rest of your life to be married, literally, and only one year to get good grades to pay for the rest of your life. I would wait till june but since thats not an option wait till feb march when you have a better handle on what 1L year is like and get married then. While its annoying to wait those extra four months, you not being below median in december will make up for those annoyances, trust me.

delusional
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby delusional » Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:05 am

BizOwner wrote:

"From someone with experience"? You aren't even married. Immature jackass responses such as yours are so commonplace among law student/attorney hopefuls that its hardly worth the time dissecting your ideas. I may be the idiot, but I went to law school on a full ride and will graduate with no debt. By the way, did I mention I continued a very profitable business while getting married, performing judicial and attorney internships, and attending school full time. If you can't manage a simple law school schedule, all the while prioritizing your personal relationships and responsibilities, what makes you think you can do that once you start practicing law? It doesn't get less stressful than what you have now.

Well all that accomplishment did nothing for your critical thinking skills. Choosing to maximize your time-limited chance at law school at the expense of your non-time-limited chance at a wedding doesn't mean that you like Prosser and Keaton better than your SO. And copping dat biglaw will make marriage easier, since you will have fewer financial problems.
And call me a cynic, but when a couple has been living together for four years and plans to get married regardless of the date; the particular date they choose to dress up, provide their family and friends with fancy food and drinks, and leave on an exotic vacation is not a momentous life decision. It's just a date.

BizOwner
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby BizOwner » Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:05 pm

delusional wrote:
BizOwner wrote:

"From someone with experience"? You aren't even married. Immature jackass responses such as yours are so commonplace among law student/attorney hopefuls that its hardly worth the time dissecting your ideas. I may be the idiot, but I went to law school on a full ride and will graduate with no debt. By the way, did I mention I continued a very profitable business while getting married, performing judicial and attorney internships, and attending school full time. If you can't manage a simple law school schedule, all the while prioritizing your personal relationships and responsibilities, what makes you think you can do that once you start practicing law? It doesn't get less stressful than what you have now.

Well all that accomplishment did nothing for your critical thinking skills. Choosing to maximize your time-limited chance at law school at the expense of your non-time-limited chance at a wedding doesn't mean that you like Prosser and Keaton better than your SO. And copping dat biglaw will make marriage easier, since you will have fewer financial problems.
And call me a cynic, but when a couple has been living together for four years and plans to get married regardless of the date; the particular date they choose to dress up, provide their family and friends with fancy food and drinks, and leave on an exotic vacation is not a momentous life decision. It's just a date.



Reread my posts. I said nothing about "liking" law school better. Reading comprehension is a significant skill in practicing law. In any event, my point is illustrated in your post. So many law school hopefuls, law students, and attorney hopefuls put so much importance on law school performance at the expense of living your life for 3 years. Granted, not everyone sacrifices everything. But when referring to the one time (hopefully) you get married, don't skimp, cut back, or significantly alter your life plans for law school. If you can juggle both, as I did, great. Its very doable. There is too much imbalance between life and work in this industry as it is. If you don't recognize that now, you'll end up one of those unhappily employed lawyers with no social life or partner in this life.

If you think a wedding is just a fancy party for your friends and family, fine. But for some its actually a spiritual sacrament that changes people. Even if they have lived together for four years. And by the way, my wife and I were together for over 8 years before we got married. And it was a momentous life decision.

BizOwner
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby BizOwner » Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:19 pm

izy223 wrote:
BizOwner wrote:
from someone with experience i pushed off my wedding till the end of my 1L year (getting married in june) your an idiot. First off the spouse should want you to push off the wedding. Second, when your married and have this intimate relationship, is the intimacy gonna pay your debt and for your house, or maybe the statistical chart.

Take it from someone with experience DO NOT GET MARRIED DURING YOUR 1L YEAR. I am engaged now and even just being engaged is a commitment that is taking up my time. I wouldnt even know how to handle if was about to get married (like more the 5 months away)



"From someone with experience"? You aren't even married. Immature jackass responses such as yours are so commonplace among law student/attorney hopefuls that its hardly worth the time dissecting your ideas. I may be the idiot, but I went to law school on a full ride and will graduate with no debt. By the way, did I mention I continued a very profitable business while getting married, performing judicial and attorney internships, and attending school full time. If you can't manage a simple law school schedule, all the while prioritizing your personal relationships and responsibilities, what makes you think you can do that once you start practicing law? It doesn't get less stressful than what you have now.



Bizowner im so happy you took the time to tell me your illustrious career. I'm proud of you I truly am, when I grow up I want to be you, please help me do this. Oh wait never mind I just went through your posts and realized your full scholarship is to an instate school. Go to a real school with actual competition and then ill humor your delusional ideas.

[/quote]

Interesting you mentioned having "actual competition" at my school. I will only respond with your previous post concerning your outlook on actual competition when choosing a law school.

izz223:
"...I cant speak for the other t-14s but the lack/lax competition at NYU has really taken the pressure off. That + the fact that 20% of your class will not be competing for you for jobs bec they believe in doi..."

or this one:
"...i love the lighter workload and more chilled atmosphere"

delusional
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Re: Wedding during fall of 1L?

Postby delusional » Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:34 pm

BizOwner wrote:
delusional wrote:
BizOwner wrote:

"From someone with experience"? You aren't even married. Immature jackass responses such as yours are so commonplace among law student/attorney hopefuls that its hardly worth the time dissecting your ideas. I may be the idiot, but I went to law school on a full ride and will graduate with no debt. By the way, did I mention I continued a very profitable business while getting married, performing judicial and attorney internships, and attending school full time. If you can't manage a simple law school schedule, all the while prioritizing your personal relationships and responsibilities, what makes you think you can do that once you start practicing law? It doesn't get less stressful than what you have now.

Well all that accomplishment did nothing for your critical thinking skills. Choosing to maximize your time-limited chance at law school at the expense of your non-time-limited chance at a wedding doesn't mean that you like Prosser and Keaton better than your SO. And copping dat biglaw will make marriage easier, since you will have fewer financial problems.
And call me a cynic, but when a couple has been living together for four years and plans to get married regardless of the date; the particular date they choose to dress up, provide their family and friends with fancy food and drinks, and leave on an exotic vacation is not a momentous life decision. It's just a date.



Reread my posts. I said nothing about "liking" law school better. Reading comprehension is a significant skill in practicing law. In any event, my point is illustrated in your post. So many law school hopefuls, law students, and attorney hopefuls put so much importance on law school performance at the expense of living your life for 3 years. Granted, not everyone sacrifices everything. But when referring to the one time (hopefully) you get married, don't skimp, cut back, or significantly alter your life plans for law school. If you can juggle both, as I did, great. Its very doable. There is too much imbalance between life and work in this industry as it is. If you don't recognize that now, you'll end up one of those unhappily employed lawyers with no social life or partner in this life.

If you think a wedding is just a fancy party for your friends and family, fine. But for some its actually a spiritual sacrament that changes people. Even if they have lived together for four years. And by the way, my wife and I were together for over 8 years before we got married. And it was a momentous life decision.

You didn't use the word like; you used the words "is more important to you than". Fine, substitute that into my post.
Getting married is a momentous life decision. Getting married on February 8 as opposed to August 25 is not, especially when your living arrangement is not going to change from what it's been the previous four years.




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