ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

(Study Tips, Dealing With Stress, Maintaining a Social Life, Financial Aid, Internships, Bar Exam, Careers in Law . . . )
target
Posts: 688
Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:40 pm

ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby target » Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:12 am

My oral argument is pass/fail, so instead of taking it too seriously, I am looking for suggestions on all sorts of jokes, satire, limerick, etc that I can use in my oral argument. The funnier, the better. Political jokes are preferred.

User avatar
monkey85
Posts: 394
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:07 pm

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby monkey85 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:22 am

Say that you have 3 arguments but you only remember 2 of them.

Say oops somewhere in there.

When the bench grills you and backs you into a corner, ask if you can start over like an etch a sketch.

GOP and DONE.

User avatar
joemoviebuff
Posts: 788
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:51 am

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby joemoviebuff » Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:23 am

Argue that the court doesn't have jurisdiction to hear the case.

User avatar
kalvano
Posts: 11724
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:24 am

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby kalvano » Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:26 am

Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.

User avatar
monkey85
Posts: 394
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:07 pm

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby monkey85 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:27 am

kalvano wrote:Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.


awesome

User avatar
traehekat
Posts: 3195
Joined: Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:00 pm

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby traehekat » Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:33 am

monkey85 wrote:
kalvano wrote:Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.


awesome

User avatar
Cupidity
Posts: 2214
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:21 pm

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby Cupidity » Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:53 am

Opening line: "Your Honors, I'm not here to make friends."

User avatar
Cupidity
Posts: 2214
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:21 pm

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby Cupidity » Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:58 am

Also, refer to opposing council as Brother/Sister.

People seriously do that in moot court, and it still cracks me up every time.

User avatar
vpintz
Posts: 1408
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:51 am

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby vpintz » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:00 am

kalvano wrote:Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.

And when you're called out for doing so, quote Super Troopers. TYIA.

"Did I say meow? Do I look like a cat to you? Do you see me jumping all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?"

thegrayman
Posts: 498
Joined: Thu May 06, 2010 5:56 pm

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby thegrayman » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:11 am

Object to everything your opposing counsel says

you: "Objection, relevance."

judge: "You can't object to your opponent's argument counsel"

you: "Sustained!"

jkay
Posts: 399
Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 2:47 pm

Re: ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments

Postby jkay » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:26 am

Open with: "Your honor, may I pleasure the court?"




Return to “Forum for Law School Students”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: LawHammer, ophelia and 15 guests