My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

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c3pO4
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby c3pO4 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:01 pm

OK, you realize that just because he "knows he wants to be a prosecutor" doesn't mean it will ever happen. This is a giant blinking sign that says --- you will never be a prosecutor.

That being said, there is no question that you should not counsel your boyfriend to take the rest of this finals. If they are offering to wipe the F off, you have to take that deal. You need to realize that an F in law school 1L year will foreclose ALL employment options outside of working at McDonalds.

09042014
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby 09042014 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:07 pm

Your boyfriend is an idiot. Even I passed LRW.

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prezidentv8
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby prezidentv8 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:11 pm

c3pO4 wrote:That being said, there is no question that you should not counsel your boyfriend to take the rest of this finals. If they are offering to wipe the F off, you have to take that deal. You need to realize that an F in law school 1L year will foreclose ALL employment options outside of working at McDonalds.


TITCR, although with a little much on the hyperbole at the end.

And he should think long and hard about whether or not he should continue law school at all.

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thesealocust
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby thesealocust » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:20 pm

Life advice: If at first you don't succeed, quit and don't admit to trying.

There aren't any jobs anyway. There DEFINITELY aren't any jobs for people who failed legal research and writing 1L fall and were asked to take a leave of absence.

No reason to add more student loans to the problem.

concerned_one
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby concerned_one » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:28 pm

c3pO4 wrote:OK, That being said, there is no question that you should not counsel your boyfriend to take the rest of this finals. If they are offering to wipe the F off, you have to take that deal. You need to realize that an F in law school 1L year will foreclose ALL employment options outside of working at McDonalds.


I do understand that. He knows this is the best offer he's going to get, and it looks like he's going to take it. The good thing is it will give him a chance to recharge his batteries and ponder if law school is really what he wants to do or if he's just telling himself it's what he should do. Plus he'll have until August to study all the materials if he decides to give it another shot.

TempleU555555
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby TempleU555555 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:29 pm

concerned_one wrote:
c3pO4 wrote:OK, That being said, there is no question that you should not counsel your boyfriend to take the rest of this finals. If they are offering to wipe the F off, you have to take that deal. You need to realize that an F in law school 1L year will foreclose ALL employment options outside of working at McDonalds.


I do understand that. He knows this is the best offer he's going to get, and it looks like he's going to take it. The good thing is it will give him a chance to recharge his batteries and ponder if law school is really what he wants to do or if he's just telling himself it's what he should do. Plus he'll have until August to study all the materials if he decides to give it another shot.


I'm in a similar situation; could you tell me what school he's at (just curious)..

Thanks!

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Extension_Cord
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby Extension_Cord » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:35 pm

TempleU555555 wrote:
concerned_one wrote:
c3pO4 wrote:OK, That being said, there is no question that you should not counsel your boyfriend to take the rest of this finals. If they are offering to wipe the F off, you have to take that deal. You need to realize that an F in law school 1L year will foreclose ALL employment options outside of working at McDonalds.


I do understand that. He knows this is the best offer he's going to get, and it looks like he's going to take it. The good thing is it will give him a chance to recharge his batteries and ponder if law school is really what he wants to do or if he's just telling himself it's what he should do. Plus he'll have until August to study all the materials if he decides to give it another shot.


I'm in a similar situation; could you tell me what school he's at (just curious)..

Thanks!


LOL you girlfriend is about to out you.

c3pO4
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby c3pO4 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:37 pm

if this guy decides to try law school again, I'd kick his ass to the curb. it's cool that you're supportive even though he boned this semester, but if he's too stubborn/stupid/delusional to take a hint and get a job and forget about law school, you don't want him dragging you down

concerned_one
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby concerned_one » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:39 pm

TempleU555555 wrote:I'm in a similar situation; could you tell me what school he's at (just curious)..

Thanks!


Check your private messages, thanks

c3pO4
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby c3pO4 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 5:42 pm

concerned_one wrote:
TempleU555555 wrote:I'm in a similar situation; could you tell me what school he's at (just curious)..

Thanks!


Check your private messages, thanks


does your boyfriend know you just outed him?

anewaphorist
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby anewaphorist » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:04 pm

Why do I feel like this thread has become a soap opera?

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Veyron
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby Veyron » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:11 pm

Government won't touch him which means that being a prosecutor or a public defender is something that isn't going to happen right out of school. He might be able to network his ass off and get a private criminal defense gig if that interests him.

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sunynp
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby sunynp » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:12 pm

He needs to listen to the advice of his school. They are the experts here. What he thinks he can do or what you think he can do is not relevant except as to how you deal with this situation. Not following the law school's advice would be a foolish choice. He sounds like he needs help with coping. I'm not sure how you are helping him by advising that he do anything other than what the school tells him to do.

He needs a break and you need to support him in taking the break he needs.

I don't agree at all that this means he can't be successful or end up in biglaw. He needs to figure out how to manage whatever problems he is having with completing the work and address them. Any one who tells you that if he can't handle this, then he should give up is just wrong. Once he works out what the issues are, which sounds like it might include clinical depression, he can do well.

Also, you are right - he can't compare his performance in undergrad with law school. Everyone in law school thinks they will be in the top 10% -even though 90% won't-because of their undergrad and other educational success. Law school is completely different, but everyone still thinks they will be the top of their class. Maybe realizing that law school is much different than he expected is part of his problem?

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AreJay711
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby AreJay711 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:17 pm

So I had a somewhat similar situation to you boyfriend.

After my first semester, my professor mistakenly entered my grade as a C when it was actually a B+. Obviously that is less intense than an F but I think C's are as low as you can get if you write something resembling law on the exam at my school and usually only one or 2 are given in a section. I was kind of taken aback because I felt good about the class material even and though I didn't feel great about the exam I thought I did decently. I wasn't angry really but it definitely made me question myself what I really wanted to do in law school since biglaw was out of the picture baring an couple A's to bring my GPA back up.

Anyway, my girlfriend then was metaphorically (because she is 400 miles away) walked on eggshells around me. Even though that's not the worst, it did bother me because it made it seem like she thought less of me. The grade didn't even bother me that much since I just figured I probably just missed something big and obvious and got curve fucked. Actually, it bothered me less later when she made fun of me (Saying "well I really shouldn't listen to you about that since you got a C in that class" when I said something related to the class) than when she acted like she had to be all super supportive and whatnot.

This is just based on my obviously different experience but you should probably act like nothing is wrong at all. No need to act like it changes who he is or whether you respect him. That is where is mind will go even though that is not why you are acting differently.

Edit: Oh and it would be best if you didn't bother him about what to do. I know people here are doing what they do and giving tailored to law students but it probably won't help coming from you even if you are a law student too.
Last edited by AreJay711 on Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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monkey85
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby monkey85 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:19 pm

Take the leave of absence - relax, think about whether he wants to come back, won't be the first person to do so.

Law school isn't that hard, but like everyone else said, he needs to figure out what went wrong - without the career-ending-F on his transcript.

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Ludo!
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby Ludo! » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:21 pm

AreJay711 wrote:So I had a somewhat similar situation to you boyfriend.

After my first semester, my professor mistakenly entered my grade as a C when it was actually a B+. Obviously that is less intense than an F but I think C's are as low as you can get if you write something resembling law on the exam at my school and usually only one or 2 are given in a section. I was kind of taken aback because I felt good about the class material even and though I didn't feel great about the exam I thought I did decently. I wasn't angry really but it definitely made me question myself what I really wanted to do in law school since biglaw was out of the picture baring an couple A's to bring my GPA back up.

Anyway, my girlfriend then was metaphorically (because she is 400 miles away) walked on eggshells around me. Even though that's not the worst, it did bother me because it made it seem like she thought less of me. The grade didn't even bother me that much since I just figured I probably just missed something big and obvious and got curve fucked. Actually, it bothered me less later when she made fun of me (Saying "well I really shouldn't listen to you about that since you got a C in that class" when I said something related to the class) than when she acted like she had to be all super supportive and whatnot.

This is just based on my obviously different experience but you should probably act like nothing is wrong at all. No need to act like it changes who he is or whether you respect him. That is where is mind will go even though that is not why you are acting differently.

Edit: Oh and it would be best if you didn't bother him about what to do. I know people here are doing what they do and giving tailored to law students but it probably won't help coming from you even if you are a law student too.


How did you eventually find out it was supposed to be a B+?

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soitgoes9
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby soitgoes9 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:26 pm

What is his background? Could he work in something interesting/something that pays the bills for a year or more and then decide if law school is for him?

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AreJay711
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby AreJay711 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:28 pm

Ludovico Technique wrote:
How did you eventually find out it was supposed to be a B+?


Well I was going to go over the exam with him and I guess the day before he looked over it and found out that he made a mistake somewhere and emailed me. I almost didn't ask to go over it with him because I was embarrassed but I'm glad I did.

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SilverE2
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby SilverE2 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:31 pm

AreJay711 wrote:
Ludovico Technique wrote:
How did you eventually find out it was supposed to be a B+?


Well I was going to go over the exam with him and I guess the day before he looked over it and found out that he made a mistake somewhere and emailed me. I almost didn't ask to go over it with him because I was embarrassed but I'm glad I did.


holy fuck I can't even imagine how amazing you must have felt when you found out a mistake had been made.

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bk1
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby bk1 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:35 pm

concerned_one wrote:I think it goes deeper than him not being able to handle the workload. He says he's been depressed. He had a meeting with his school yesterday, and they agreed to remove his failing grade for LRW off his transcript IF he does not take the finals this semester and goes on leave (so I guess I was mistaken in my earlier post). If he decides to take them then he's stuck with whatever grades he gets. I've encouraged him to study to try to take them but I'm beginning to see from your responses that taking a leave might be the best decision for his current state of mind. Right now he needs to relax, stop beating himself up, and take a step back to evaluate what went wrong this semester and prepare himself for next year. He knows in his heart he wants to be a prosecutor. We had a long discussion about it last night and he assured me that IS what he wants to do. I just think he didn't pace himself and became depressed as a result.


He should definitely not take his exams. Either he should take a leave of absence or drop out now. If he takes the leave of absence he can always withdraw before he has to start again.

In either case it looks like he's not ready now. Maybe that will change a year from now, maybe it won't. The point is that he can always go back to law school later, whether that is one year from now or ten, so dropping out now isn't the end of the world.

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kwais
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby kwais » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:36 pm

c3pO4 wrote:if this guy decides to try law school again, I'd kick his ass to the curb. it's cool that you're supportive even though he boned this semester, but if he's too stubborn/stupid/delusional to take a hint and get a job and forget about law school, you don't want him dragging you down


you are one of the shittiest people on the internets

c3pO4
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby c3pO4 » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:39 pm

kwais wrote:
c3pO4 wrote:if this guy decides to try law school again, I'd kick his ass to the curb. it's cool that you're supportive even though he boned this semester, but if he's too stubborn/stupid/delusional to take a hint and get a job and forget about law school, you don't want him dragging you down


you are one of the shittiest people on the internets


haters gonna hate

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kwais
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby kwais » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:43 pm

c3pO4 wrote:
kwais wrote:
c3pO4 wrote:if this guy decides to try law school again, I'd kick his ass to the curb. it's cool that you're supportive even though he boned this semester, but if he's too stubborn/stupid/delusional to take a hint and get a job and forget about law school, you don't want him dragging you down


you are one of the shittiest people on the internets


haters gonna hate


I guess

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Extension_Cord
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby Extension_Cord » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:47 pm

kwais wrote:
c3pO4 wrote:if this guy decides to try law school again, I'd kick his ass to the curb. it's cool that you're supportive even though he boned this semester, but if he's too stubborn/stupid/delusional to take a hint and get a job and forget about law school, you don't want him dragging you down


you are one of the shittiest people on the internets


This.

mrloblaw
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Re: My boyfriend is burnt out. Help.

Postby mrloblaw » Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:20 pm

I'd agree with the major sentiment here that he needs to face the situation and drop out. Either (a) he's incapable of handling the easiest phase of law school, and therefore has no business borrowing more money to continue, or (b) he has some kind of depressive disorder that is prohibiting him from functioning, in which case joining one of the most soul-crushing professions out there is not going to go well for his mental health.




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