going into 1L year w/relationship

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lolol10
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going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby lolol10 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:52 pm

what is everyone's take on this? im currently a spoken for 0L entering into law school this fall. i am well aware of the immense amount of work you have to put in to be successful as a 1L. obviously, this takes away time from other things. it seems only other law students appreciate and understand the dedication and time law school demands. can anyone speak to their experience either meeting someone at law school or going into law school in a relationship?

smittytron3k
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby smittytron3k » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:03 pm

If you approach law school with the mentality that law school must always come first, you will have trouble maintaining a relationship. If you approach law school with the mentality that law school is your job, not the center of your life, and that you can occasionally take a break/vacation when work is slow, make time in your schedule to catch up with your SO, and generally not be an ass about the whole law school deal, you will probably do fine. Obviously this also depends on how strong your relationship is, if either of you are suspicious/especially needy/etc. I will say from my own experience that my fiancee and I lived on opposite coasts, maintained a long-distance relationship through my 1L year, and got engaged in April (but are postponing the wedding till 2013). We probably talked over an hour a day, and I kept pretty late hours (went to bed between 1am-3am most nights) so we could have time to talk and catch up. Don't want to post my grades here, but I was quite happy with them and I don't think they suffered on account of my relationship. In fact, having someone outside of law school to lean on when I was stressed out or frustrated was an invaluable resource and kept me from getting caught up in the 1L freakout I saw from a lot of people.

BTW the time commitment is really not that intense once you get the hang of reading cases and such, except for exam period. Honestly even though I stayed up late I probably spent more time playing Angry Birds and watching basketball than studying.

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JordynAsh
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby JordynAsh » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:06 pm

lolol10 wrote:what is everyone's take on this? im currently a spoken for 0L entering into law school this fall. i am well aware of the immense amount of work you have to put in to be successful as a 1L. obviously, this takes away time from other things. it seems only other law students appreciate and understand the dedication and time law school demands. can anyone speak to their experience either meeting someone at law school or going into law school in a relationship?


lolol10, meet the search function.

Geist13
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Geist13 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:08 pm

I entered law school with my long time girlfriend. We lived together, but we lived together for a few years before law school. First off, despite what most people say, if you manage your time well, law school does not take up that much more time than a full time job. The big difference is that you need to put in full days on the weekends as well. And before exams its a bit like working a second job. With that said, if your SO is working and not just sitting around all day, there really shouldn't be any problems. Make sure he/she knows that you may not always be able to hang out and that it's a no-no to give you hard time about it. On your end, just make sure to budget your time efficiently so that you can spend time with them.

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Cupidity
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Cupidity » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:11 pm

lolol10 wrote:what is everyone's take on this? im currently a spoken for 0L entering into law school this fall. i am well aware of the immense amount of work you have to put in to be successful as a 1L. obviously, this takes away time from other things. it seems only other law students appreciate and understand the dedication and time law school demands. can anyone speak to their experience either meeting someone at law school or going into law school in a relationship?


Law school is as demanding as the hype. Unless you really slacked off in college it should be comparable. Keep on trucking.

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jsarna1
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby jsarna1 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:42 pm

It's doable. I did a long distance relationship through my 1L year. Still happy with the girl and with 1L year. Treat law school like a job and you will have time at night for your SO.

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Grizz
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Grizz » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:46 pm

Broke up with GF pre-school and it was awesome.

lolol10
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby lolol10 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:47 pm

rad law wrote:Broke up with GF pre-school and it was awesome.


but you're rad law...

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FeelTheHeat
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby FeelTheHeat » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:54 pm

I'll be about 4 hours away from my girl. We've been dating for 3 years. I have no real interest in meeting someone else, she's about perfect for me. Plus, it will definitely help me keep my focus knowing that if I'm gonna be apart from her I better kick some ass.

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Cupidity
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Cupidity » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:54 pm

Cupidity wrote:
lolol10 wrote:what is everyone's take on this? im currently a spoken for 0L entering into law school this fall. i am well aware of the immense amount of work you have to put in to be successful as a 1L. obviously, this takes away time from other things. it seems only other law students appreciate and understand the dedication and time law school demands. can anyone speak to their experience either meeting someone at law school or going into law school in a relationship?


Law school is as demanding as the hype. Unless you really slacked off in college it should be comparable. Keep on trucking.



*isn't as demanding.

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Grizz
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Grizz » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:56 pm

lolol10 wrote:
rad law wrote:Broke up with GF pre-school and it was awesome.


but you're rad law...


Fair, but rad law can be a relationship man too for the right special lady.

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Kilpatrick
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Kilpatrick » Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:08 am

.
Last edited by Kilpatrick on Wed Nov 09, 2011 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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TTH
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby TTH » Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:25 am

lolol10 wrote:
rad law wrote:Broke up with GF pre-school and it was awesome.


but you're rad law...


One of the best poasts I've seen from a poster with <500 posts since I had <500 posts.

It'll be fine. Just be a decent human being and honest about the workload.

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rayiner
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby rayiner » Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:48 am

Kilpatrick wrote:Lived with my girlfriend 1L year, it worked out fine. Exam time is a little demanding but I made sure she knew well ahead of time that she basically wasn't going to see me for a couple weeks. If you have an understanding SO you'll be OK.


Lived with my girlfriend her 1L year (my 2L) year and it was fine.

The big thing is that a lot of stress-induced tension and hostility builds up, but if you're good at communicating you can take that out on other people instead of each other and it's all good.

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Stringer6
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Stringer6 » Thu Jun 09, 2011 10:21 am

We probably talked over an hour a day


god that sounds horrible

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zanda
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby zanda » Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:38 pm

It's a good test of how much both parties care about each other and how much they're willing to work. My engagement failed, but the right relationship won't.

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BarbellDreams
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby BarbellDreams » Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:48 pm

lolol10 wrote:
rad law wrote:Broke up with GF pre-school and it was awesome.


but you're rad law...


Best response ever.

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PDaddy
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby PDaddy » Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:55 pm

If her name is Nany Gonzalez (from "The Real World"), you take her with you and have fun every night working out your stress.

She's my woman!

Image

Image

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flexityflex86
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby flexityflex86 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:29 am

PDaddy wrote:If her name is Nany Gonzalez (from "The Real World"), you take her with you and have fun every night working out your stress.

She's my woman!

Image

Image

Image

somebody spends too much time with hand lotion by the television, and not enough in society.

071816
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby 071816 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:36 am

Me and my gf have been dating for over 4 years and she will be half way across the country. It's not the first time we've done the whole long distance thing, but this should be fun...

BoriquaEsquire
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby BoriquaEsquire » Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:50 pm

I got almost all the way through 1L in my relationship.

My story is kind of unique though. First semester, I was able to do fine seeing him on the weekends and keeping up with my work. Over the winter break, my chronic illness caused me to go from functioning to disabled. This put a lot of stress on both of us because we were thinking about getting married beforehand and after I lost so much of my ability to function, my bf started reconsidering whether he wanted a disabled spouse. You can also imagine how stressful it was for me, juggling a dying relationship, 1L year, and my illness. He eventually decided to break up with me because he didn't want to "deal with [my] illness for the rest of [his] life."

I ended up with terrible grades second semester and no bf. It kind of sucked, but like I said, it was a really unique situation.

You can't see the future. There are always obstacles that might get in your way. That said, I know a lot of people who survived 1L with their relationships intact.

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Glock
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Glock » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:02 pm

It will put a strain on the relationship because you will have less time and mental energy if you focus. That said, if your relationship cannot survive law school then it was crap and would not have survived being a lawyer anyway.

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Shammis
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby Shammis » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:18 pm

Speaking through the advice Lawyers and LS students have given me...you HAVE to put 1L first. That does not mean you cannot have a good relationship so long as both of you know what you're getting yourself into. The truth is, not many people in a relationship right now can handle the difference in time you used to spend with one another as compared to the time you will spend with one another. Not everyone can be the spouse of a lawyer. So long as both of you are prepared for it, youll be fine if your relationship is strong. Ill be going into 1L in a relationship of 5 years. Prob going to propose after 2L. We have had long talks about our future and the time investment I will have to make. She knows it and will be busy also...Plus she cooks, which is a time saver for me in the end. Win/Win. But do not forget that you cannot compromise studying/doing well because you guys are bickering...the time isnt worth it.

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ndirish2010
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby ndirish2010 » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:25 pm

You can do it. I did well at a T25 and my relationship is stronger now than it was before 1L. It takes a SO that is understanding that 1L year is really important, able to put up with your disappearances around finals and memos, etc..., but it can be done.

CanadianWolf
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Re: going into 1L year w/relationship

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:31 pm

Depends upon the individuals, their maturity, level of committment & other circumstances. Without knowing you or your situation, my first impression is that if you have to ask, your relationship may not be strong enough.




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