ogurty wrote: coming out is a seriously complicated process for people who have actively pretended to be straight. It undoubtedly shuts you out of certain social groups - generally hyper-aggro types and just about any "fundamentalist" religious group - and it sounds like OP's "masculine, straight-acting" self might have some of those types as friends.
yeah this would have resonated with me a lot three years ago.
if my present self could go back in time and talk to my old self though i'd slap myself in the face and convince myself to JUST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY because it won't ever get any easier and being comfortable with oneself and one's friends (none of whom i lost... not even the occasionally-douchey super-hetero ones) is pretty awesome.
edit: i don't mean to imply that everyone's outcomes will be as smooth as mine were. but i think at 22 or over there's enough in your own control to overcome whatever bumps may present themselves.