Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

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tilapiahollandaise
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Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby tilapiahollandaise » Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:41 am

"Mendenhall Spam" made a comment on abovethelaw which articulated perfectly a worry I've had in my unconscious for quite some time:

If all the intelligent, responsible, motivated, disciplined people of the world forgo child rearing in order to have a career (even though the two are not mutually exclusive), then only the ignorant, irresponsible people who don't have their life together are raising children.


What do you think? Do you plan to raise a family in the future? If so, how do you plan to go about doing it?

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sojuteacher
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby sojuteacher » Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:17 am

tilapiahollandaise wrote:"Mendenhall Spam" made a comment on abovethelaw which articulated perfectly a worry I've had in my unconscious for quite some time:

If all the intelligent, responsible, motivated, disciplined people of the world forgo child rearing in order to have a career (even though the two are not mutually exclusive), then only the ignorant, irresponsible people who don't have their life together are raising children.


What do you think? Do you plan to raise a family in the future? If so, how do you plan to go about doing it?


You should watch Idiocracy btw, if you haven't.

My father and mother both were very involved in their careers when I was growing up, and the raised a family with 3 kids. (I feel like we came out alright).

Probably will just wait for enough time to get established as a lawyer before the whole family thing.

random5483
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby random5483 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:51 am

No idea. I want to have kids someday (I think), but I am not ready for them yet.

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nygrrrl
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby nygrrrl » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:52 am

I have kids/family and am a 1L. So far, so good. Not always easy, but definitely doable.

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NZA
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby NZA » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:54 am

I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

Renzo
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby Renzo » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:58 am

NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

Forgot population growth. You should be worried about demographic shift, since you live in a rich country.

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AreJay711
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby AreJay711 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:58 am

sojuteacher wrote:You should watch Idiocracy btw, if you haven't.



This is a funny movie. I plan on having 4 or 5 children myself.

Something like Idiocracy probably won't happen though because resources will probably get relatively scarce again one day where people won't be able to afford that many children and/or having a large family will be a status symbol.

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NZA
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby NZA » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:59 am

Renzo wrote:
NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

Forgot population growth. You should be worried about demographic shift, since you live in a rich country.


Nah. Once we get our heads around immigration, population growth will remain steady for us. At least in my lifetime, anyway.

Plus, I'm thinking ecologically, not economically. But I see your point. :)

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homestyle28
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby homestyle28 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:00 pm

I have a kid and plan on having more. While not decided on the Biglaw route, I think there are several things a family can do to make it work. Live close to the office, Have only 1 spouse work, hire help (chefs, nannies, housekeepers, lawncare, etc.). Give up your hobbies. If you're busy and want to make it work with family you have to prioritize your time. This is true regardless of profession.

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AreJay711
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby AreJay711 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:01 pm

NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

This is why my parents only had two. Screw that, my genes will spread :twisted:

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homestyle28
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby homestyle28 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:02 pm

AreJay711 wrote:
NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

This is why my parents only had two. Screw that, my genes will spread :twisted:

Sneezing can accomplish this just as well.

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boozehound
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby boozehound » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:05 pm

I'm raising a three-year-old. Law school will be a nice break for me.

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NZA
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby NZA » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:07 pm

AreJay711 wrote:
NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

This is why my parents only had two. Screw that, my genes will spread :twisted:


Lol, no doubt.

I can't tell if my anxieties about being a bad parent are underlying my enviro-guilt or what, but I just feel really weird about having kids and then raising them in the most ecologically destructive society on the planet. Don't get me wrong, because I love my country, but I'd feel slightly less guilty if I were raising my kids in a society that were more in tune with nature.

And I'm not judging people who have kids in this thread, this is just a very personal perspective.

dabears1
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby dabears1 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:10 pm

Renzo wrote:
NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

Forgot population growth. You should be worried about demographic shift, since you live in a rich country.



Lol http://www.usdebtclock.org/

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Mce252
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby Mce252 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:14 pm

Sneezing can accomplish this just as well.


You may be thinking of germs. Last time I checked, there wasn't any semen in mucus and saliva.

In response to the original question, I would say that many of the individuals who avoid a career driven lifestyle in exchange for being "motivated" to raise a grounded, healthy family, may be more responsible than any managing partner will ever be. It's one thing to be good at what you do for a living, but I would say you're avoiding potential happiness by thinking career motivation is a symptom of being a person that "has their life together" more than others.

Don't get me wrong, because I love my country, but I'd feel slightly less guilty if I were raising my kids in a society that were more in tune with nature.


Well maybe you should move?

czelede
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby czelede » Fri Jan 14, 2011 3:53 pm

I think this is a thought-provoking quandary, having just chanced upon an article in The New Republic about women who opt to stay at home with their children at the expense of their growing careers. I'd be particularly interested in hearing what other girls around here think of balancing family and law.

Link dump: an interesting article about working mothers: http://nymag.com/nymetro/urban/family/features/n_7837/

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calilaw
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby calilaw » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:05 pm

dabears1 wrote:
Renzo wrote:
NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

Forgot population growth. You should be worried about demographic shift, since you live in a rich country.



Lol http://www.usdebtclock.org/


http://www.visualeconomics.com/gdp-vs-n ... y-country/

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Drake014
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby Drake014 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:06 pm

I'm sure most wealthy lawyers have at least 2 families, both of which know nothing about the other. Its totally doable.

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TJISMYHERO
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby TJISMYHERO » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:11 pm

calilaw wrote:
dabears1 wrote:
Renzo wrote:
NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

Forgot population growth. You should be worried about demographic shift, since you live in a rich country.



Lol http://www.usdebtclock.org/


http://www.visualeconomics.com/gdp-vs-n ... y-country/


That data is pretty old. The U.S. Debt has ballooned by 50% since this figure of 8.68 Trillion.

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nygrrrl
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby nygrrrl » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:13 pm

boozehound wrote:I'm raising a three-year-old. Law school will be a nice break for me.

LOL - this is so insanely true. Law school is so much easier (for me) than being the mom of 2 small kids. :lol:

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nygrrrl
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby nygrrrl » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:19 pm

czelede wrote:I think this is a thought-provoking quandary, having just chanced upon an article in The New Republic about women who opt to stay at home with their children at the expense of their growing careers. I'd be particularly interested in hearing what other girls around here think of balancing family and law.

Link dump: an interesting article about working mothers: http://nymag.com/nymetro/urban/family/features/n_7837/

NYMagazine has been trying to stir up trouble between working moms and SAHMs for quite a while. By now, most of the moms I know here (in NYC) are very, "meh" about all of it. (I personally don't know a single woman who has dissed or been dissed for working/not working. All of my friends thought that article was inane and unrealistic.) As for balancing family and law... well, obviously I think it can be done. Do you have specific questions?

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Cade McNown
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby Cade McNown » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:23 pm

:shock: Family? I thought people went to law school to bang paralegals.

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theskippa10
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby theskippa10 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:47 pm

NZA wrote:
AreJay711 wrote:
NZA wrote:I'd like to have family, but I'm kind of worried about population growth. :?

This is why my parents only had two. Screw that, my genes will spread :twisted:


Lol, no doubt.

I can't tell if my anxieties about being a bad parent are underlying my enviro-guilt or what, but I just feel really weird about having kids and then raising them in the most ecologically destructive society on the planet. Don't get me wrong, because I love my country, but I'd feel slightly less guilty if I were raising my kids in a society that were more in tune with nature.

And I'm not judging people who have kids in this thread, this is just a very personal perspective.


You live in China or India?

czelede
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby czelede » Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:04 pm

nygrrrl wrote:
czelede wrote:I think this is a thought-provoking quandary, having just chanced upon an article in The New Republic about women who opt to stay at home with their children at the expense of their growing careers. I'd be particularly interested in hearing what other girls around here think of balancing family and law.

Link dump: an interesting article about working mothers: http://nymag.com/nymetro/urban/family/features/n_7837/

NYMagazine has been trying to stir up trouble between working moms and SAHMs for quite a while. By now, most of the moms I know here (in NYC) are very, "meh" about all of it. (I personally don't know a single woman who has dissed or been dissed for working/not working. All of my friends thought that article was inane and unrealistic.) As for balancing family and law... well, obviously I think it can be done. Do you have specific questions?


No specific questions, am mostly just curious to hear perspectives. I'm in corporate engineering now, and I'm just in total awe of the new mothers in my company when they tell me about handling parenthood - and we have extremely flexible schedules as it is - so I can barely imagine beginning to balance all that with the stresses of biglaw.

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bk1
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Re: Being a lawyer and having a family -- your thoughts?

Postby bk1 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:10 pm

Even if all the smart people have families, they probably won't have many kids when they do, plus they'll have them much later in life.

At any rate, smart people will never be able to compete with the masses who forgo the use of birth control and start popping out kids before they finish high school and usually have at least 2 by the time most of us graduate college.




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