Babies.

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nygrrrl
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Re: Babies.

Postby nygrrrl » Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:06 pm

Connelly wrote:
I just don't understand the mentality of planned outsourcing of child raising along the lines of, "We're both going to make 6 figures working 50-60 hours a week and hire a full-time nanny." Obviously, we all make do with what we are given under the circumstances, but I can only imagine (as a non-parent) that there isn't anything more valuable for a parent than time with one's children, even ignoring the IQ, emotional, and other benefits gained from parent-child interactions.


But which parent should give up their job? What if they find their job emotionally and mentally rewarding? Listen, having kids is great... but it is INSANELY hard work. Not mental work, DRUDGERY work. With screaming. My husband and I have tailored our careers so that we are very flexible (for school plays, sports, etc) and we never work more than 40 hours (of child-awake-time)/wk... but hell YEAH there are things that are just as valuable for our mental health as time with our children!

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:08 pm

nygrrrl wrote:
Connelly wrote:
I just don't understand the mentality of planned outsourcing of child raising along the lines of, "We're both going to make 6 figures working 50-60 hours a week and hire a full-time nanny." Obviously, we all make do with what we are given under the circumstances, but I can only imagine (as a non-parent) that there isn't anything more valuable for a parent than time with one's children, even ignoring the IQ, emotional, and other benefits gained from parent-child interactions.


But which parent should give up their job? What if they find their job emotionally and mentally rewarding? Listen, having kids is great... but it is INSANELY hard work. Not mental work, DRUDGERY work. With screaming. My husband and I have tailored our careers so that we are very flexible (for school plays, sports, etc) and we never work more than 40 hours (of child-awake-time)/wk... but hell YEAH there are things that are just as valuable for our mental health as time with our children!

"EAT THE FOOD!!" - Louis CK

heathbar88
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Re: Babies.

Postby heathbar88 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:10 pm

Just wanted to add, that article is really depressing (to all of us women who have dreams of 'having it all').

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sophistry
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Re: Babies.

Postby sophistry » Thu Jun 17, 2010 6:28 pm

I feel bad for your nanny's kids.

12262010
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Re: Babies.

Postby 12262010 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 6:40 pm

sophistry wrote:I feel bad for your nanny's kids.


lolwut

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paratactical
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Re: Babies.

Postby paratactical » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:03 pm

Threads like this make me glad I have yet to feel any desire for crotchfruit.

12262010
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Re: Babies.

Postby 12262010 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:03 pm

paratactical wrote:Threads like this make me glad I have yet to feel any desire for crotchfruit.


same. praise the fucking lord.

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paratactical
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Re: Babies.

Postby paratactical » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:05 pm

booyakasha wrote:
paratactical wrote:Threads like this make me glad I have yet to feel any desire for crotchfruit.


same. praise the fucking lord.


I just imagine all the cool stuff I'll be able to buy without having to pay for kids.

12262010
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Re: Babies.

Postby 12262010 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:06 pm

paratactical wrote:
booyakasha wrote:
paratactical wrote:Threads like this make me glad I have yet to feel any desire for crotchfruit.


same. praise the fucking lord.


I just imagine all the cool stuff I'll be able to buy without having to pay for kids.


I just imagine an obligation that I probably won't even like until the day I die.

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paratactical
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Re: Babies.

Postby paratactical » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:10 pm

booyakasha wrote:
paratactical wrote:
booyakasha wrote:
paratactical wrote:Threads like this make me glad I have yet to feel any desire for crotchfruit.


same. praise the fucking lord.


I just imagine all the cool stuff I'll be able to buy without having to pay for kids.


I just imagine an obligation that I probably won't even like until the day I die.


Yeah, with our luck we'd birth some terrible girls who loved rhinestones and hated blowjobs.

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jmhendri
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Re: Babies.

Postby jmhendri » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:11 pm

booyakasha wrote:
I just imagine an obligation that I probably won't even like until the day I die.


I like to imagine all the sleep I'll get and how much more sex I'll prolly have.

12262010
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Re: Babies.

Postby 12262010 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:12 pm

paratactical wrote:
Yeah, with our luck we'd birth some terrible girls who loved rhinestones and hated blowjobs.


and since I'm Jewish the chance of birthing a JAP is already at least 50%.

there needs to be a vomiting emoticon.

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paratactical
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Re: Babies.

Postby paratactical » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:13 pm

booyakasha wrote:
paratactical wrote:
Yeah, with our luck we'd birth some terrible girls who loved rhinestones and hated blowjobs.


and since I'm Jewish the chance of birthing a JAP is already at least 50%.

there needs to be a vomiting emoticon.


+1

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:14 pm

jmhendri wrote:
booyakasha wrote:
I just imagine an obligation that I probably won't even like until the day I die.


I like to imagine all the sleep I'll get and how much more sex I'll prolly have.

wait, i do really like sleep... hmm.

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nygrrrl
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Re: Babies.

Postby nygrrrl » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:19 pm

IAFG wrote:
jmhendri wrote:
booyakasha wrote:
I just imagine an obligation that I probably won't even like until the day I die.


I like to imagine all the sleep I'll get and how much more sex I'll prolly have.

wait, i do really like sleep... hmm.

Srsly, I miss sleep and quiet so much I could scream. I love my kids to death, but having them was really something that I agreed to do, not that I dreamed of doing. That said, I'm REALLY glad I went for it. As they get older, it's easier and easier and we have a blast together... but they are growing up seeing a mom who works and loves her job and is fulfilled by that about as much as she is, by family or a partner... and I (personally - just me) think that's a good thing.


ALSO? We really DO need a vomiting emoticon. kthx

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macattaq
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Re: Babies.

Postby macattaq » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:29 pm

Two things:

First, having kids in your late thirties. Think about your children. Maybe they want to have their children know their grandparents. I never really knew mine, and if I have children, I'd like for them to know theirs. However, both of my parents are older, and I'm not sure if they'll make it long enough for that to happen. So when you have kids, consider this.

Second, HAVE YOU SEEN WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD? DON'T SUBJECT YOUR CHILLUN TO THIS SHIT!

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dominkay
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Re: Babies.

Postby dominkay » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:31 pm

macattaq wrote:Two things:

First, having kids in your late thirties. Think about your children. Maybe they want to have their children know their grandparents. I never really knew mine, and if I have children, I'd like for them to know theirs. However, both of my parents are older, and I'm not sure if they'll make it long enough for that to happen. So when you have kids, consider this.

Second, HAVE YOU SEEN WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD? DON'T SUBJECT YOUR CHILLUN TO THIS SHIT!


I will have done my kids a favor if they never know their grandparents (at least on my side).

12262010
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Re: Babies.

Postby 12262010 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:33 pm

macattaq wrote:Two things:

First, having kids in your late thirties. Think about your children. Maybe they want to have their children know their grandparents. I never really knew mine, and if I have children, I'd like for them to know theirs. However, both of my parents are older, and I'm not sure if they'll make it long enough for that to happen. So when you have kids, consider this.

Second, HAVE YOU SEEN WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD? DON'T SUBJECT YOUR CHILLUN TO THIS SHIT!


um ... my parents are older and they're in better shape than most people my age. people in my family on both sides tend to live into their 90s. we don't have any genetic problems. I'm not too worried.

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:44 pm

macattaq wrote:Second, HAVE YOU SEEN WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD? DON'T SUBJECT YOUR CHILLUN TO THIS SHIT!

yeah, information age, democracy, low barriers to higher ed., virtually no one in this country dying of malnutrition... terrible

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nygrrrl
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Re: Babies.

Postby nygrrrl » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:56 pm

booyakasha wrote:
macattaq wrote:Two things:

First, having kids in your late thirties. Think about your children. Maybe they want to have their children know their grandparents. I never really knew mine, and if I have children, I'd like for them to know theirs. However, both of my parents are older, and I'm not sure if they'll make it long enough for that to happen. So when you have kids, consider this.

Second, HAVE YOU SEEN WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD? DON'T SUBJECT YOUR CHILLUN TO THIS SHIT!


um ... my parents are older and they're in better shape than most people my age. people in my family on both sides tend to live into their 90s. we don't have any genetic problems. I'm not too worried.


This. Also - having kids based on whether or not they'll know their grandparents? Srsly?

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paratactical
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Re: Babies.

Postby paratactical » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:57 pm

nygrrrl wrote:Srsly, I miss sleep and quiet so much I could scream. I love my kids to death, but having them was really something that I agreed to do, not that I dreamed of doing. That said, I'm REALLY glad I went for it. As they get older, it's easier and easier and we have a blast together... but they are growing up seeing a mom who works and loves her job and is fulfilled by that about as much as she is, by family or a partner... and I (personally - just me) think that's a good thing.


ALSO? We really DO need a vomiting emoticon. kthx


I just want to go on the record as saying that while I generally dislike kids and parents, you consistently make statements that lead me to believe you are probably one of the best parents out there--I am glad that you've had children and I hope that there are more parents like you out there.

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nygrrrl
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Re: Babies.

Postby nygrrrl » Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:19 pm

paratactical wrote:
nygrrrl wrote:Srsly, I miss sleep and quiet so much I could scream. I love my kids to death, but having them was really something that I agreed to do, not that I dreamed of doing. That said, I'm REALLY glad I went for it. As they get older, it's easier and easier and we have a blast together... but they are growing up seeing a mom who works and loves her job and is fulfilled by that about as much as she is, by family or a partner... and I (personally - just me) think that's a good thing.


ALSO? We really DO need a vomiting emoticon. kthx


I just want to go on the record as saying that while I generally dislike kids and parents, you consistently make statements that lead me to believe you are probably one of the best parents out there--I am glad that you've had children and I hope that there are more parents like you out there.


:shock:
I really adore you, Para, and this means a lot to me. I don't think I'm that great of a mom (it does NOT come naturally to me), but at least I apologize when I'm wrong, listen when they need me to, love them unconditionally. Best I can do.

12262010
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Re: Babies.

Postby 12262010 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:21 pm

nygrrrl wrote:This. Also - having kids based on whether or not they'll know their grandparents? Srsly?


yeah... I mean... I had three grandparents but I never longed for the one who died before I was born.

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James Bond
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Re: Babies.

Postby James Bond » Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:21 pm

nygrrrl wrote: :shock:
I really adore you, Para, and this means a lot to me. I don't think I'm that great of a mom (it does NOT come naturally to me), but at least I apologize when I'm wrong, listen when they need me to, love them unconditionally. Best I can do.


And better than a lot of parents, mind you. I don't think you have to be the best parent, you just have to care enough to want to be the best you can for your kids

But what do I know :P not a parent yet

12262010
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Re: Babies.

Postby 12262010 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:24 pm

ifmy hypothetical husband manages to talk me into kids, he won't be getting more than two .




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