Babies.

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dominkay
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Re: Babies.

Postby dominkay » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:18 pm

historyholly wrote:Luckily the guy I am with actually likes the prospect of staying home. He jokes that he will raise the kids and play world of warcraft. If that does happen, I will jealous of him.


Children and MMORPGs are actually not all that compatible. WoW doesn't have a pause button, and neither do screaming infants.

slider
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Re: Babies.

Postby slider » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:21 pm

IAFG wrote:
slider wrote:LOL @ people who think kids will cost $600K+. My parents would have gone bankrupt long ago.

yes but we were planning on being good parents.


Oh wow, you're right because being a GOOD PARENT involves paying for an expensive wedding and a live-in nanny and an ivy league education. Anything less and you might as well give up the child for adoption. :roll:

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:22 pm

slider wrote:
IAFG wrote:
slider wrote:LOL @ people who think kids will cost $600K+. My parents would have gone bankrupt long ago.

yes but we were planning on being good parents.


Oh wow, you're right because being a GOOD PARENT involves paying for an expensive wedding and a live-in nanny and an ivy league education. Anything less and you might as well give up the child for adoption. :roll:

i was j/king

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historyholly
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Re: Babies.

Postby historyholly » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:23 pm

dominkay wrote:
historyholly wrote:Luckily the guy I am with actually likes the prospect of staying home. He jokes that he will raise the kids and play world of warcraft. If that does happen, I will jealous of him.


Children and MMORPGs are actually not all that compatible. WoW doesn't have a pause button, and neither do screaming infants.



I have a couple friends that manage to play with us and raise children of various ages. And it doesn't have a pause button if you have a guild that is hardcore and unreasonable. Either way, stay at home dad that plays video games seems awesome to me either way.

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:25 pm

historyholly wrote:< last comment >

i would edit this out before every geek on The Internet PMs you

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vexion
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Re: Babies.

Postby vexion » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:26 pm

historyholly wrote:Luckily the guy I am with actually likes the prospect of staying home. He jokes that he will raise the kids and play world of warcraft. If that does happen, I will jealous of him.

historyholly wrote:I have a couple friends that manage to play with us and raise children of various ages. And it doesn't have a pause button if you have a guild that is hardcore and unreasonable. Either way, stay at home dad that plays video games seems awesome to me either way.

Girls like a guy to do this? :shock:

LF1M accomodating wife.

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historyholly
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Re: Babies.

Postby historyholly » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:26 pm

IAFG wrote:
historyholly wrote:< last comment >

i would edit this out before every geek on The Internet PMs you


Part of the risk of playing unfortunately. :(

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dominkay
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Re: Babies.

Postby dominkay » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:28 pm

historyholly wrote:
dominkay wrote:
historyholly wrote:Luckily the guy I am with actually likes the prospect of staying home. He jokes that he will raise the kids and play world of warcraft. If that does happen, I will jealous of him.


Children and MMORPGs are actually not all that compatible. WoW doesn't have a pause button, and neither do screaming infants.



I have a couple friends that manage to play with us and raise children of various ages. And it doesn't have a pause button if you have a guild that is hardcore and unreasonable. Either way, stay at home dad that plays video games seems awesome to me either way.


I guess I'm skeptical that Guy Who Wants To Be A Stay At Home Dad and Play Video Games isn't actually Lazy Guy Addicted to Video Games.

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historyholly
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Re: Babies.

Postby historyholly » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:30 pm

dominkay wrote:
historyholly wrote:
dominkay wrote:
historyholly wrote:Luckily the guy I am with actually likes the prospect of staying home. He jokes that he will raise the kids and play world of warcraft. If that does happen, I will jealous of him.


Children and MMORPGs are actually not all that compatible. WoW doesn't have a pause button, and neither do screaming infants.



I have a couple friends that manage to play with us and raise children of various ages. And it doesn't have a pause button if you have a guild that is hardcore and unreasonable. Either way, stay at home dad that plays video games seems awesome to me either way.


I guess I'm skeptical that Guy Who Wants To Be A Stay At Home Dad and Play Video Games isn't actually Lazy Guy Addicted to Video Games.


So, would mom's that stay home to take care of the kids and happens to watch soaps or even maybe play video games be lazy?

slider
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Re: Babies.

Postby slider » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:32 pm

dominkay wrote:
I guess I'm skeptical that Guy Who Wants To Be A Stay At Home Dad and Play Video Games isn't actually Lazy Guy Addicted to Video Games.


This is 100% on point.

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:39 pm

Amy, I am sure what you describe is something you could have. The question is why you would want to.

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chicagolaw2013
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Re: Babies.

Postby chicagolaw2013 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:42 pm

Rock Chalk wrote:
chicagolaw2013 wrote:My sisters both had children in their thirties. One sister is 38 and has children that are 8 and 5, and the other will be 41 in August, and her son is 4 and daughter will be 2 next month. My mom had my sisters when she was in her early 20's, and me when she was 37. To the person who said that birth defects go up, that may be a theory, but all 4 nieces and nephews are quite smart. The 4 year old reads at a 3rd grade level...we're convinced he's going to cure cancer or something, the kid's a genius. It's sort of creepy how smart he is, actually.

I've had to actively try NOT to get pregnant...apparently we are a fertile bunch hahaha.

Oh, and on the job or kids note, my hubby to be is in outside sales, so he works from home most days anyway. He hopes to be the stay at home dad some days, and we'd have a nanny when he must be out on client calls.

Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal.

As for the bolded: Do your research. I'm not spouting off my personal theory, I'm telling you the consensus of the medical community based on extensive data collection. See the link above, and an intro level child psychology/development class.


And I'm telling YOU that genetics has a lot to do with it. I'm a psych major, I've taken the class, and I've read so many research findings on genetics and child development I could vomit.

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chicagolaw2013
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Re: Babies.

Postby chicagolaw2013 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:45 pm

xyzzzzzzzz wrote:
Rock Chalk wrote:
chicagolaw2013 wrote:My sisters both had children in their thirties. One sister is 38 and has children that are 8 and 5, and the other will be 41 in August, and her son is 4 and daughter will be 2 next month. My mom had my sisters when she was in her early 20's, and me when she was 37. To the person who said that birth defects go up, that may be a theory, but all 4 nieces and nephews are quite smart. The 4 year old reads at a 3rd grade level...we're convinced he's going to cure cancer or something, the kid's a genius. It's sort of creepy how smart he is, actually.

I've had to actively try NOT to get pregnant...apparently we are a fertile bunch hahaha.

Oh, and on the job or kids note, my hubby to be is in outside sales, so he works from home most days anyway. He hopes to be the stay at home dad some days, and we'd have a nanny when he must be out on client calls.

Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal.

As for the bolded: Do your research. I'm not spouting off my personal theory, I'm telling you the consensus of the medical community based on extensive data collection. See the link above, and an intro level child psychology/development class.



Pretty sure rock is right. That is precisely why they test eggs for down syndrome after a woman turns 34/35.


And you are correct on the testing, but genetics deals a heavy hand in these types of things as well, which is why many babies born after a mother is of a certain age DON'T have defects. So, I should say that I agree with you that perhaps incidence goes up, but it's not a reason to forego having a child if genetic evidence is on your side.

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yinz
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Re: Babies.

Postby yinz » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:49 pm

slider wrote:LOL @ people who think kids will cost $600K+. My parents would have gone bankrupt long ago.


Google it.

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:50 pm

amyLAchemist wrote:
IAFG wrote:Amy, I am sure what you describe is something you could have. The question is why you would want to.


Different people want different things. I think if men want that situation, it is totally normal. If women do, society/others view them negatively. I am more of a to each their own kinda gal.

it isn't really the "society" element that gives me pause so much as the hardwired biology part

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dominkay
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Re: Babies.

Postby dominkay » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:55 pm

historyholly wrote: So, would mom's that stay home to take care of the kids and happens to watch soaps or even maybe play video games be lazy?


I've never heard a woman say, "I'll raise the kids and watch Days of Our Lives." Probably because women tend to have a more realistic idea of what being a stay at home parent entails.

theLastZion
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Re: Babies.

Postby theLastZion » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:10 pm

This thread makes me want to get a vasectomy.

hth.

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:14 pm

theLastZion wrote:This thread makes me want to get a vasectomy.

hth.

no one's stopping you. in fact, my dad's friend gave himself one (they're both surgeons) so it's possible.

theLastZion
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Re: Babies.

Postby theLastZion » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:16 pm

IAFG wrote:
theLastZion wrote:This thread makes me want to get a vasectomy.

hth.

no one's stopping you. in fact, my dad's friend gave himself one (they're both surgeons) so it's possible.

Cool, I don't have health insurance so that sounds like a good plan. Just give me some numbing gel and a pair of scissors!!!!

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IAFG
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Re: Babies.

Postby IAFG » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:18 pm

theLastZion wrote:
IAFG wrote:
theLastZion wrote:This thread makes me want to get a vasectomy.

hth.

no one's stopping you. in fact, my dad's friend gave himself one (they're both surgeons) so it's possible.

Cool, I don't have health insurance so that sounds like a good plan. Just give me some numbing gel and a pair of scissors!!!!

family guy has an instruction manual set to song. you'll need towel clamps.

slider
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Re: Babies.

Postby slider » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:20 pm

yinz wrote:
slider wrote:LOL @ people who think kids will cost $600K+. My parents would have gone bankrupt long ago.


Google it.


No one needs to google this. It is common sense. Something that seems to be disappearing these days.

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Rock Chalk
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Re: Babies.

Postby Rock Chalk » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:28 pm

chicagolaw2013 wrote:
Rock Chalk wrote:
chicagolaw2013 wrote:My sisters both had children in their thirties. One sister is 38 and has children that are 8 and 5, and the other will be 41 in August, and her son is 4 and daughter will be 2 next month. My mom had my sisters when she was in her early 20's, and me when she was 37. To the person who said that birth defects go up, that may be a theory, but all 4 nieces and nephews are quite smart. The 4 year old reads at a 3rd grade level...we're convinced he's going to cure cancer or something, the kid's a genius. It's sort of creepy how smart he is, actually.

I've had to actively try NOT to get pregnant...apparently we are a fertile bunch hahaha.

Oh, and on the job or kids note, my hubby to be is in outside sales, so he works from home most days anyway. He hopes to be the stay at home dad some days, and we'd have a nanny when he must be out on client calls.

Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal.

As for the bolded: Do your research. I'm not spouting off my personal theory, I'm telling you the consensus of the medical community based on extensive data collection. See the link above, and an intro level child psychology/development class.


And I'm telling YOU that genetics has a lot to do with it. I'm a psych major, I've taken the class, and I've read so many research findings on genetics and child development I could vomit.

I was referring to the bolded portion of your post. Older moms presenting a higher risk is not a theory, it's an observation. I would expect someone so experienced with research know this.

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Sammi
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Re: Babies.

Postby Sammi » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:35 pm

Wow... my boyfriend and I have been talking a lot lately about the possibilities of our future kids even coming into being... He's a consultant and flies out a lot, and then I'll be a lawyer. However, he just got a promotion and will be traveling less, so his ability to work from home will hopefully help us out a lot. He's a bit naive when it comes to having a baby right after law school--he thinks he can be done.

Edit: I will be 30 upon graduation... which means that I'll need to put in 3-5 years just to pay off debt: 35 to start with? My mom had me when she was 36, but I was the last one out.

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nygrrrl
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Re: Babies.

Postby nygrrrl » Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:57 pm

amyLAchemist wrote:Wouldn't this be very different for women who 1) aren't as emotional, 2) don't view being a mom>having a great career, and 3) have full time, round the clock help (nanny, mother in law, stay at home dad, etc) so you don't have to leave work if your kid is sick or whatever? I was also basing the 3-4 weeks off of my half dozen friends who have had children, maybe that is not a representative sample (and I don't have any girlfriends who had C-sections, which yeah, I've heard is longer), I don't know. But that was what they took before they went back. Given, they all tend to be in the situation described above.

My dad raised me as a single father (mother out of the picture) who worked very long hours and has a very successful career. And he never left work if I was sick, since I had a live-in nanny. I think that experience might also be skewing my view.


Amy, you've kind of described ME, tbh. I LOVE my job, figured I'd spend maybe 6 wks at home with the kid, then get baby sitters... not how it turned out AT ALL. It was 16 weeks before I felt ready to leave my 1st kid (I was stunned by how much I WANTED to be home with her) and then I stuck with PT sitters for a year after that. Not until she was 18 months old did I hire a FT nanny/sitter. Mind you, I was able to do a lot of my work from home, but I was blindsided by how different motherhood was from what I'd envisioned. I agree with IAFG - you can create the kind of parenting environment that works for you - and in this, "What works for YOU " is the key phrase. I know lots of parents and we pretty much all have different styles - and our kids are pretty much all healthy, happy, well-adjusted. It's the imposition of hard and fast rules about things like this that is a problem, imho.

Connelly
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Re: Babies.

Postby Connelly » Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:56 pm

IAFG wrote:
amyLAchemist wrote:
IAFG wrote:Amy, I am sure what you describe is something you could have. The question is why you would want to.


Different people want different things. I think if men want that situation, it is totally normal. If women do, society/others view them negatively. I am more of a to each their own kinda gal.

it isn't really the "society" element that gives me pause so much as the hardwired biology part


+1

Anyone here read The Disposable Male? It's a nice evolutionary look at modern gender roles. The author basically suggests extreme right-wing family values based on how evolution has developed each gender.

I just don't understand the mentality of planned outsourcing of child raising along the lines of, "We're both going to make 6 figures working 50-60 hours a week and hire a full-time nanny." Obviously, we all make do with what we are given under the circumstances, but I can only imagine (as a non-parent) that there isn't anything more valuable for a parent than time with one's children, even ignoring the IQ, emotional, and other benefits gained from parent-child interactions.




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