amyLAchemist wrote:Wouldn't this be very different for women who 1) aren't as emotional, 2) don't view being a mom>having a great career, and 3) have full time, round the clock help (nanny, mother in law, stay at home dad, etc) so you don't have to leave work if your kid is sick or whatever? I was also basing the 3-4 weeks off of my half dozen friends who have had children, maybe that is not a representative sample (and I don't have any girlfriends who had C-sections, which yeah, I've heard is longer), I don't know. But that was what they took before they went back. Given, they all tend to be in the situation described above.
My dad raised me as a single father (mother out of the picture) who worked very long hours and has a very successful career. And he never left work if I was sick, since I had a live-in nanny. I think that experience might also be skewing my view.
Amy, you've kind of described ME, tbh. I LOVE my job, figured I'd spend maybe 6 wks at home with the kid, then get baby sitters... not how it turned out AT ALL. It was 16 weeks before I felt ready to leave my 1st kid (I was stunned by how much I WANTED to be home with her) and then I stuck with PT sitters for a year after that. Not until she was 18 months old did I hire a FT nanny/sitter. Mind you, I was able to do a lot of my work from home, but I was blindsided by how different motherhood was from what I'd envisioned. I agree with IAFG - you can create the kind of parenting environment that works for you - and in this, "What works for YOU " is the key phrase. I know lots of parents and we pretty much all have different styles - and our kids are pretty much all healthy, happy, well-adjusted. It's the imposition of hard and fast rules about things like this that is a problem, imho.