There are some days when I regret going to law school. I'm a 1L and the first semester is close to being over, so I've done a lot self-evaluation lately.
My main worry is that I'm just not mature enough for this yet. I graduated from undergrad in three years and I started law school literally two weeks after my undergrad commencement with very little work experience (in journalism and public relations). I never dreamed about being a lawyer until about junior year of undergrad. I came to law school because I did have a sincere interest in the law and thought I would enjoy learning about it/practicing it, but I wasn't 100% positive if I WOULD enjoy learning about it/practicing it. I have a huge interest in human rights, specifically in the international setting, and IP as well, but I probably could've taken time off to explore more of what was out there. Unfortunately, I was too stubborn to. I understand better now why people say to take time off before going to law school, and I would recommend to current 0Ls to take time off. Yet I don't want to say that I really regret not taking time off myself....because I honestly don't REALLY regret it, if that makes any sense....
There are days when I feel like I made the right decision to go to law school--with the exception of property, I love all of my classes and I love listening to the discussions that we have. I love the substance. I can honestly say I LOVE writing memos. I get excited and can't wait to start interning/externing. But still I feel overwhelmed competing with people who have had years of work experience. I'm not as quick of a thinker compared to my peers; I seriously break down in the socratic method and I need time to think without 90 other people waiting for me to answer. I was called on in class a few weeks ago and was simply asked to state the facts of the case, and my mind just shut down and all I could think about was that I WASN'T thinking.
I also haven't found too many people that I feel like I can relate with; it takes time for me to warm up to people and I've been a hermit for a lot of this semester, so right now I'm having that "I don't fit in with my classmates" complex.
It's feeling too much like high school, which I absolutely hated--being stuck with the same people all throughout the day for the entire year....I hate it. And this worries me also because we're constantly hearing how small the law community is.
I don't know what it is. I like being in law school and learning, but I just feel self-conscious and I'm constantly doubting myself in my ability to do well. I have this feeling that 2L is just going to be a lot better for me, though.
Rant ends here.