Married During Law School?

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:42 pm

goosey wrote: My fiance is extremely supportive and I am certain he will be more than willing to give a hand in the household duties to help out


Oh shit. Look at the time...

I best be goin...;)

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Jones, Dow
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Jones, Dow » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:49 pm

i'll be totally honest, i wouldn't plan a wedding during your first year.

what does your SO do? the only way there won't be time is if you don't want there to be time.



edited for 4th grade grammar

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tralinds
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby tralinds » Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:53 pm

Jones, Dow wrote:i'll be totally honest, i wouldn't plan a wedding during your first year.



THIS. Fiance and I got engaged last May, just before 1L. I wanted to have the wedding this summer, he thought that would be too stressful to deal with during the first year. We decided to wait until after 2L, and I am SO GLAD he talked me into that. I can't imagine trying to plan a wedding right now, I barely have time for all my classes as is.

Just don't rush it. Not worth it. You already know you want to be together, anyway. :)

Fiance and I live together, fwiw. I guess if you are opposed to living together before marriage it might be worth it to just have a small wedding soon, because if we didn't live together, I honestly don't know how much time I'd be able to spend with him (it would not be much time at all!).

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goosey
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby goosey » Thu Feb 11, 2010 8:03 pm

Jones, Dow wrote:i'll be totally honest, i wouldn't plan a wedding during your first year.

what does your SO do? the only way there won't be time is if you don't want there to be time.



edited for 4th grade grammar



he's an accountant, so really, if we got married in december, when I went back to law school is around the time his super busy season would be starting. Other than that, he's usually home around 630is every night. We dont live together though, and wouldnt (cultural reasons) until after marriage, so we will most certainly have the adjustment period to deal with.

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mikeytwoshoes
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby mikeytwoshoes » Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:11 am

ellewoods110 wrote:I am currently an 0L, but I am planning to get married before my 2L year. I wanted to make sure that I was doing the most planning over the summer, so it wouldn't conflict school.


:lol:

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mikeytwoshoes
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby mikeytwoshoes » Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:15 am

Jones, Dow wrote:i'll be totally honest, i wouldn't plan a wedding during your first year.

what does your SO do? the only way there won't be time is if you don't want there to be time.



edited for 4th grade grammar

:shock: :arrow: :| :arrow: :?:

2lstudent
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby 2lstudent » Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:34 am

I was married all through law school (I got married the summer before). Also for cultural reasons, my husband and I never lived together before we were married--in fact, we lived hours apart. We got married in late June, and I started school in August. There was an adjustment period, but for I think there would always be somewhat of an adjustment.

I would never have made it through law school without the husband. As other have said, law school is full of drama, and the husband kept me out of all of it. He kept things in perspective. It was practically great to have back up, to take care of things like the car when it needed new breaks or when we had to move. It was great to have support to come home to, someone who didn't know (or care) about legal stuff. Plus, it was a built in way to make non-law school friends, a super plus for me too.

Overall--do it. I have no advice about wedding planning because I didn't really plan mine. I picked a dress.

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chadwick218
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby chadwick218 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:40 am

I am 'currently' married. In my class, I have know of quite a few married classmates who seem to be doing very well. I also know of 2-3 divorces and a soon to be divorce. I kinda wish that I wasn't married.

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goosey
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby goosey » Fri Feb 12, 2010 1:53 pm

2lstudent wrote:I was married all through law school (I got married the summer before). Also for cultural reasons, my husband and I never lived together before we were married--in fact, we lived hours apart. We got married in late June, and I started school in August. There was an adjustment period, but for I think there would always be somewhat of an adjustment.

I would never have made it through law school without the husband. As other have said, law school is full of drama, and the husband kept me out of all of it. He kept things in perspective. It was practically great to have back up, to take care of things like the car when it needed new breaks or when we had to move. It was great to have support to come home to, someone who didn't know (or care) about legal stuff. Plus, it was a built in way to make non-law school friends, a super plus for me too.

Overall--do it. I have no advice about wedding planning because I didn't really plan mine. I picked a dress.



are u desi by any chance?

My wedding planning will also constitute of picking out a dress. I will probably help my mom out as far as picking a venue and whatnot, but its really not going to be my project unless I want it to be. And if Im busy, I wont want it to be :mrgreen:

I also am not all that concerned about the wedding itself, so I really am not going to be going all out with planning. I think the reason so many marriages fail is the fact that people are so focused on the DAY that they forget there is an entire MARRIAGE that follows the day. I've been through one bad experience already--and I had the whole everything matches the tablocloths, the custom made party favors, the crystal stage--all that. We spent about 80k on my wedding and it lasted all of 6 weeks. massive waste. I feel like I got all the glitzy pretty princess wedding stuff out of my system and now am just concerned about how the actual marriage itself will go--hence the focus on life *after* the wedding day verses life before.

not to knock anyone that is planning like crazy. I did it myself. And its fun..and everyone has the right to fulfill their dreams for that big day.

nickwar
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby nickwar » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:04 pm

Why would you ever want to get married in law school? 1L is absolute hell, you amass vicious debts and you will be generally stressed out of your mind for months on end.

Why not wait a couple years until law school is finished? If your relationship can survive law school then I'd say it's a good idea to get married. But it's better to have to break up during law school than get divorced.

Plus (I know each group has its plus sides), being married during law school would be lame. Going out and "getting hammered with the guys" is a very effective way to blow off steam while in school. If I had to spend my whole day at school followed by every remaining moment at home I would blow my head off.

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audrey hepburn
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby audrey hepburn » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:09 pm

I think it's definitely possible. It's going to be hard, but many people have done it in the past and it can be done again. People even have babies during law school. It does cut out the amount of time you would have for other activities but it wouldn't matter if law school & your marriage are your priorities.

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chadwick218
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby chadwick218 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:10 pm

I wish that I wasn't married during law school.

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goosey
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby goosey » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:34 pm

nickwar wrote:Why would you ever want to get married in law school? 1L is absolute hell, you amass vicious debts and you will be generally stressed out of your mind for months on end.

Why not wait a couple years until law school is finished? If your relationship can survive law school then I'd say it's a good idea to get married. But it's better to have to break up during law school than get divorced.

Plus (I know each group has its plus sides), being married during law school would be lame. Going out and "getting hammered with the guys" is a very effective way to blow off steam while in school. If I had to spend my whole day at school followed by every remaining moment at home I would blow my head off.



yeah, I mean I guess I can understand your point of view, but that doesnt so much apply to me, because I dont drink and am a failry conservtive Muslim woman. So certain things dont necessarily apply to me, and I would wind up saving 14k a year in debt from not dorming. My main concerns, as I said before, stem from how law school would impact my relationship. Even if Im single I wont be going out and getting hammered with the guys :D

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Na_Swatch
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Na_Swatch » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:37 pm

chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married during law school.


:!: :!: :shock: :shock:

Aren't you just recently married?

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chadwick218
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby chadwick218 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:39 pm

Na_Swatch wrote:
chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married during law school.


:!: :!: :shock: :shock:

Aren't you just recently married?


2007 ... so a little while ago!

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Na_Swatch
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Na_Swatch » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:40 pm

chadwick218 wrote:
Na_Swatch wrote:
chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married during law school.


:!: :!: :shock: :shock:

Aren't you just recently married?


2007 ... so a little while ago!


why do u not wish you were married? If I found the right person I think it would be nice to be married in LS.

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chadwick218
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby chadwick218 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:44 pm

Na_Swatch wrote:[why do u not wish you were married? If I found the right person I think it would be nice to be married in LS.


uh, i dislike my wife?

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Na_Swatch
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Na_Swatch » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:45 pm

chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married [strike]during law school.[/strike]


Ahh well then it should have been like that. That must be stressful to deal with on top of law school tho.

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jks289
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby jks289 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:48 pm

goosey wrote:
nickwar wrote:Why would you ever want to get married in law school? 1L is absolute hell, you amass vicious debts and you will be generally stressed out of your mind for months on end.

Why not wait a couple years until law school is finished? If your relationship can survive law school then I'd say it's a good idea to get married. But it's better to have to break up during law school than get divorced.

Plus (I know each group has its plus sides), being married during law school would be lame. Going out and "getting hammered with the guys" is a very effective way to blow off steam while in school. If I had to spend my whole day at school followed by every remaining moment at home I would blow my head off.



yeah, I mean I guess I can understand your point of view, but that doesnt so much apply to me, because I dont drink and am a failry conservtive Muslim woman. So certain things dont necessarily apply to me, and I would wind up saving 14k a year in debt from not dorming. My main concerns, as I said before, stem from how law school would impact my relationship. Even if Im single I wont be going out and getting hammered with the guys :D


I drink a little and wouldn't call myself conservative, but I'm in your boat about not doing body shots at bar review married or otherwise. I am a 0L but I don't have a relatively high stress job, and we are in our first year of marriage. There is occasional friction about time, household responsibilities, and me being crabby after a long day. But on the whole, I couldn't do what I do without him. I think as long as you are lined up on a few big things (How will you spend and save your money, basic division of labor, extended family priorities) the little things are just not as big a deal. It also helps that our understanding is he sucks it up and moves anywhere for three years, and after that I move where his career needs to go. There is less resentment because it feels like we are both pulling our weight to achieve shared goals.

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chadwick218
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby chadwick218 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:50 pm

Na_Swatch wrote:
chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married [strike]during law school.[/strike]


Ahh well then it should have been like that. That must be stressful to deal with on top of law school tho.


Not really ... she lives 6,000 miles away, I see her on a quarterly basis, and cuts me a $2,000 check each month. It really isn't so bad.

LSATfromNC
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby LSATfromNC » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:53 pm

chadwick218 wrote:
Na_Swatch wrote:
chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married [strike]during law school.[/strike]


Ahh well then it should have been like that. That must be stressful to deal with on top of law school tho.


Not really ... she lives 6,000 miles away, I see her on a quarterly basis, and cuts me a $2,000 check each month. It really isn't so bad.


Sorry to be nosy, but why does she cut you a 2k check?

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Na_Swatch
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Na_Swatch » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:53 pm

chadwick218 wrote:
Na_Swatch wrote:
chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married [strike]during law school.[/strike]


Ahh well then it should have been like that. That must be stressful to deal with on top of law school tho.


Not really ... she lives 6,000 miles away, I see her on a quarterly basis, and cuts me a $2,000 check each month. It really isn't so bad.


So you're married to a rich Russian oligarch who is funding your education with oil money??

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chadwick218
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby chadwick218 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:55 pm

LSATfromNC wrote:
chadwick218 wrote:
Na_Swatch wrote:
chadwick218 wrote:I wish that I wasn't married [strike]during law school.[/strike]


Ahh well then it should have been like that. That must be stressful to deal with on top of law school tho.


Not really ... she lives 6,000 miles away, I see her on a quarterly basis, and cuts me a $2,000 check each month. It really isn't so bad.


Sorry to be nosy, but why does she cut you a 2k check?


It's a part of the deal ... in doing so, I didn't have to take out any $ for living / personal expenses and I use the rest to pay down the interest + a little principal on student loans each month.

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chadwick218
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby chadwick218 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:55 pm

Na_Swatch wrote:So you're married to a rich Russian oligarch who is funding your education with oil money??


not russian and no oil money ... indeed, if that were the case, I wouldn't have taken out any student loans.

LSATfromNC
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby LSATfromNC » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:00 pm

I'm confused. You dislike her, yet you take her money every month. Does she know you dislike her?




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