Married During Law School?

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goosey
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Married During Law School?

Postby goosey » Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:59 pm

I'm curious how people feel about marriage during law school. If you are a married student, what have you found works best as far as studying/balancing family?

I am considering getting married this December, will be the semester after I start law school. If not December, then definitely next summer, so in either case, I will be getting married fairly early on in my law school career. I plan on staying part-time, and possibly trying to have a baby in between my third and fourth years.

How do you feel this experience is on a new marriage?

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ellewoods110
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby ellewoods110 » Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:03 pm

I am currently an 0L, but I am planning to get married before my 2L year. I wanted to make sure that I was doing the most planning over the summer, so it wouldn't conflict school.

I don't think it will be an issue to balance family/studying, but I am certainly not looking to have children anytime soon.

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:38 pm

I'm a better student because I'm married.

1. My schedule is more structured: I get up at the same time every day. I go to class at the same time every day (I'm there at 8:00 a.m.). I come home at the same time every day (kind of...some days I need to stay a few hours later than 5). Scheduling helps me prioritize. As a result...

2. I'm more efficient and effective: I have 2 important things competing for my time and attention. I know I need to devote myself to school and family (wife). I have to get the most out the limited time I have with my school work, and I have to get the most out of the limited time I have with my wife. Not only that, but I feel like I owe it to my wife to study hard while I'm away from her, since every hour I spend wasting time at school is an hour I could be spending with her. This provides excellent incentives to do stuff right.

3. I'm not caught up in the high school drama: You'll see it all over TLS. Law school is a lot like college, but it's more like high school because of the parties, the drama, the rumors, the cliques, etc. For me, it's more like kindergarten. A woman that calls me "sweetie" drops me off at the front door in the morning, kisses me on the cheek, and tells me she loves me as she passes me the lunchbox she's packed for me. All the girls at school have cooties. I feel illiterate. The teachers make me cry, and I usually wet my pants once a week. ;)

Most of my friends here are married, and I'm "grown up" enough that I prefer having a few married couples over for dinner and a movie, rather than getting shit-faced with the guys at bars full of undergrads. I also like the lack of pressure to be cool. I feel like I "do law school" better by treating it as that thing I do during the day (and some nights and weekends), rather than treating it like my life.

Hope this helps.

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Mr. Matlock » Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:40 pm

SoxyPirate wrote:I'm a better student because I'm married.

1. My schedule is more structured: I get up at the same time every day. I go to class at the same time every day (I'm there at 8:00 a.m.). I come home at the same time every day (kind of...some days I need to stay a few hours later than 5). Scheduling helps me prioritize. As a result...

2. I'm more efficient and effective: I have 2 important things competing for my time and attention. I know I need to devote myself to school and family (wife). I have to get the most out the limited time I have with my school work, and I have to get the most out of the limited time I have with my wife. Not only that, but I feel like I owe it to my wife to study hard while I'm away from her, since every hour I spend wasting time at school is an hour I could be spending with her. This provides excellent incentives to do stuff right.

3. I'm not caught up in the high school drama: You'll see it all over TLS. Law school is a lot like college, but it's more like high school because of the parties, the drama, the rumors, the cliques, etc. For me, it's more like kindergarten. A woman that calls me "sweetie" drops me off at the front door in the morning, kisses me on the cheek, and tells me she loves me as she passes me the lunchbox she's packed for me. All the girls at school have cooties. I feel illiterate. The teachers make me cry, and I usually wet my pants once a week. ;)

Most of my friends here are married, and I'm "grown up" enough that I prefer having a few married couples over for dinner and a movie, rather than getting shit-faced with the guys at bars full of undergrads. I also like the lack of pressure to be cool. I feel like I "do law school" better by treating it as that thing I do during the day (and some nights and weekends), rather than treating it like my life.

Hope this helps.

My future law partner ladies and gentlemen!!

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:56 pm

Mr. Matlock wrote:
SoxyPirate wrote:I'm a better student because I'm married.

1. My schedule is more structured: I get up at the same time every day. I go to class at the same time every day (I'm there at 8:00 a.m.). I come home at the same time every day (kind of...some days I need to stay a few hours later than 5). Scheduling helps me prioritize. As a result...

2. I'm more efficient and effective: I have 2 important things competing for my time and attention. I know I need to devote myself to school and family (wife). I have to get the most out the limited time I have with my school work, and I have to get the most out of the limited time I have with my wife. Not only that, but I feel like I owe it to my wife to study hard while I'm away from her, since every hour I spend wasting time at school is an hour I could be spending with her. This provides excellent incentives to do stuff right.

3. I'm not caught up in the high school drama: You'll see it all over TLS. Law school is a lot like college, but it's more like high school because of the parties, the drama, the rumors, the cliques, etc. For me, it's more like kindergarten. A woman that calls me "sweetie" drops me off at the front door in the morning, kisses me on the cheek, and tells me she loves me as she passes me the lunchbox she's packed for me. All the girls at school have cooties. I feel illiterate. The teachers make me cry, and I usually wet my pants once a week. ;)

Most of my friends here are married, and I'm "grown up" enough that I prefer having a few married couples over for dinner and a movie, rather than getting shit-faced with the guys at bars full of undergrads. I also like the lack of pressure to be cool. I feel like I "do law school" better by treating it as that thing I do during the day (and some nights and weekends), rather than treating it like my life.

Hope this helps.

My future law partner ladies and gentlemen!!


Just preparing myself for 18 hour days at S&M Shitlaw & Dinner Theatre, LLP.

Yes, we do need to make it S&M. The imagery is perfect.

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goosey
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby goosey » Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:59 pm

SoxyPirate wrote:I'm a better student because I'm married.

1. My schedule is more structured: I get up at the same time every day. I go to class at the same time every day (I'm there at 8:00 a.m.). I come home at the same time every day (kind of...some days I need to stay a few hours later than 5). Scheduling helps me prioritize. As a result...

2. I'm more efficient and effective: I have 2 important things competing for my time and attention. I know I need to devote myself to school and family (wife). I have to get the most out the limited time I have with my school work, and I have to get the most out of the limited time I have with my wife. Not only that, but I feel like I owe it to my wife to study hard while I'm away from her, since every hour I spend wasting time at school is an hour I could be spending with her. This provides excellent incentives to do stuff right.

3. I'm not caught up in the high school drama: You'll see it all over TLS. Law school is a lot like college, but it's more like high school because of the parties, the drama, the rumors, the cliques, etc. For me, it's more like kindergarten. A woman that calls me "sweetie" drops me off at the front door in the morning, kisses me on the cheek, and tells me she loves me as she passes me the lunchbox she's packed for me. All the girls at school have cooties. I feel illiterate. The teachers make me cry, and I usually wet my pants once a week. ;)

Most of my friends here are married, and I'm "grown up" enough that I prefer having a few married couples over for dinner and a movie, rather than getting shit-faced with the guys at bars full of undergrads. I also like the lack of pressure to be cool. I feel like I "do law school" better by treating it as that thing I do during the day (and some nights and weekends), rather than treating it like my life.

Hope this helps.


wow, that was a REALLY great post. Thanks for the helpful info, it really makes me see how this can be a good thing rather than bad thing.

Do you think its better to be ft or pt? I see pros and cons to both and am wondering if theres anything anyone can add to this:

FT:
pros- obviously, u finish faster, so the time you spend as a "student" is cut down; you can be at school during the hours your spouse is at work and be home at the same time (usually)
cons- more classes=more studying=less time; if you have class during the day, that may leave studying for evening, and if youre married, that means not getting to spend time with your spouse because you and he are working/at school during the day and then you would be studying in the evening.

PT:
pros- less classes=less studying=more time; you get could study during the day while your spouse is at work and take care of some of the household stuff (dinner, etc) then go to class in the evening and be home in time to spend a few hours together before going to bed. In a way, law school could be what you do from 8 am-9pmish, and I would imagine after putting that much time into it, that would leave atleast one day during the weekend to just chill with the spouse
cons- it would take more time to finish and drag on the amount of time one spends as a "student"...also that long a day may wipe a person out, resulting in being super cranky by 9 pm and not wanting to do anything at all, much less converse with another human being

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Jones, Dow
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Jones, Dow » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:02 pm

i get to have sex with a chick hotter than any girl in my law school any time i want...

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:04 pm

Jones, Dow wrote:i get to have sex with a chick hotter than any girl in my law school any time i want...


Dear lord. I ask for one favor, and this is what I get. :lol:

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Cleareyes
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Cleareyes » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:07 pm

SoxyPirate wrote:
Mr. Matlock wrote:
SoxyPirate wrote:I'm a better student because I'm married.

1. My schedule is more structured: I get up at the same time every day. I go to class at the same time every day (I'm there at 8:00 a.m.). I come home at the same time every day (kind of...some days I need to stay a few hours later than 5). Scheduling helps me prioritize. As a result...

2. I'm more efficient and effective: I have 2 important things competing for my time and attention. I know I need to devote myself to school and family (wife). I have to get the most out the limited time I have with my school work, and I have to get the most out of the limited time I have with my wife. Not only that, but I feel like I owe it to my wife to study hard while I'm away from her, since every hour I spend wasting time at school is an hour I could be spending with her. This provides excellent incentives to do stuff right.

3. I'm not caught up in the high school drama: You'll see it all over TLS. Law school is a lot like college, but it's more like high school because of the parties, the drama, the rumors, the cliques, etc. For me, it's more like kindergarten. A woman that calls me "sweetie" drops me off at the front door in the morning, kisses me on the cheek, and tells me she loves me as she passes me the lunchbox she's packed for me. All the girls at school have cooties. I feel illiterate. The teachers make me cry, and I usually wet my pants once a week. ;)

Most of my friends here are married, and I'm "grown up" enough that I prefer having a few married couples over for dinner and a movie, rather than getting shit-faced with the guys at bars full of undergrads. I also like the lack of pressure to be cool. I feel like I "do law school" better by treating it as that thing I do during the day (and some nights and weekends), rather than treating it like my life.

Hope this helps.

My future law partner ladies and gentlemen!!


Just preparing myself for 18 hour days at S&M Shitlaw & Dinner Theatre, LLP.

Yes, we do need to make it S&M. The imagery is perfect.


I still want to apply for an associate position! I feel like law school has improved not just my shitlaw skills, but my dinner theater capabilities as well!

To answer the real question, from the perspective of an unmarried student I'd say that most of the married students seem to be balancing school and marriage pretty well, and a surprisingly large percentage of my classmates have live in boy/girlfriends. I also know someone who got married during law school during the fall semester, and he managed fine even with a lot of activities outside law school, but I wouldn't recommend getting married during 1L year except, possibly, over spring or winter break.

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Mr. Matlock » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:08 pm

If you plan on getting married in December, make it SMALL!! Vegas or J of P. I don't know if you followed the 1L's who just finished finals, but that's one hell of a lot of stress you'd be putting on yourself.

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:09 pm

goosey wrote:
Do you think its better to be ft or pt?


I wish I could help you there. Im FT, and I don't think I know any PT students.

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:12 pm

I'll echo the idea that you might not want to try to get married during the semester. Having gone through the wedding planning stage, I can promise you it's hell (it can be), and you don't want to throw a shit-load of hell on top of the most difficult period of your life (1st semester of 1L). Do what you can to get married over the summer or over a long winter break.

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goosey
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby goosey » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:13 pm

SoxyPirate wrote:I'll echo the idea that you might not want to try to get married during the semester. Having gone through the wedding planning stage, I can promise you it's hell (it can be), and you don't want to throw a shit-load of hell on top of the most difficult period of your life (1st semester of 1L). Do what you can to get married over the summer or over a long winter break.



planning for winter break or summer, not during the semester..sorry should have clarified that.

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Mr. Matlock » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:13 pm

Cleareyes wrote:
SoxyPirate wrote:
Just preparing myself for 18 hour days at S&M Shitlaw & Dinner Theatre, LLP.

Yes, we do need to make it S&M. The imagery is perfect.


I still want to apply for an associate position! I feel like law school has improved not just my shitlaw skills, but my dinner theater capabilities as well!

Soxy, it looks like we just nailed down our Nicely Nicely!!

--ImageRemoved--

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:20 pm

Cleareyes wrote:I still want to apply for an associate position! I feel like law school has improved not just my shitlaw skills, but my dinner theater capabilities as well!


I didn't manage to line up a summer internship, but Sonic was hiring servers. Skating around with foot long chili-cheese coney dogs and tater-tots is giving me more inspiration (and work experience) than opening mail in the Winchestertonfieldville, PA township's public defender/notary public/tax collector's office ever could have.

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SoxyPirate
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby SoxyPirate » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:22 pm

Mr. Matlock wrote:
Cleareyes wrote:
SoxyPirate wrote:
Just preparing myself for 18 hour days at S&M Shitlaw & Dinner Theatre, LLP.

Yes, we do need to make it S&M. The imagery is perfect.


I still want to apply for an associate position! I feel like law school has improved not just my shitlaw skills, but my dinner theater capabilities as well!

Soxy, it looks like we just nailed down our Nicely Nicely!!

--ImageRemoved--


As long as Sky gets to wear roller-skates.

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birD
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby birD » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:22 pm

Do you think its better to be ft or pt? I see pros and cons to both and am wondering if theres anything anyone can add to this:

FT:
pros- obviously, u finish faster, so the time you spend as a "student" is cut down; you can be at school during the hours your spouse is at work and be home at the same time (usually)
cons- more classes=more studying=less time; if you have class during the day, that may leave studying for evening, and if youre married, that means not getting to spend time with your spouse because you and he are working/at school during the day and then you would be studying in the evening.

PT:
pros- less classes=less studying=more time; you get could study during the day while your spouse is at work and take care of some of the household stuff (dinner, etc) then go to class in the evening and be home in time to spend a few hours together before going to bed. In a way, law school could be what you do from 8 am-9pmish, and I would imagine after putting that much time into it, that would leave atleast one day during the weekend to just chill with the spouse
cons- it would take more time to finish and drag on the amount of time one spends as a "student"...also that long a day may wipe a person out, resulting in being super cranky by 9 pm and not wanting to do anything at all, much less converse with another human being


I have the SAME dilemma as you! When I'm in law school my boyfriend will be in optometry school full time. It will take him 4 years to finish optometry school, so if I go full time I will have an extra year that I have to just wait for him and do I don't know what because we are moving as soon as he is done with school. I feel like I would never see him if I went full time and he really needs me to support him and take care of him. I am leaning towards part time but I don't want to feel like a reject when people ask me why I'm going part time and I say to be there for my boyfriend and take care of him and keep our house in order. I also get overwhelmed really easily and I feel like full time might be too much for me to handle so maybe part time would be a better option... So I feel for you, it's such a hard decision!!

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Mr. Matlock » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:29 pm

SoxyPirate wrote:
Mr. Matlock wrote:
Cleareyes wrote:
SoxyPirate wrote:
Just preparing myself for 18 hour days at S&M Shitlaw & Dinner Theatre, LLP.

Yes, we do need to make it S&M. The imagery is perfect.


I still want to apply for an associate position! I feel like law school has improved not just my shitlaw skills, but my dinner theater capabilities as well!

Soxy, it looks like we just nailed down our Nicely Nicely!!

--ImageRemoved--


As long as Sky gets to wear roller-skates.

I'll think about it. But it does give me a great idea for our Christmas spectacular!

Image

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Jones, Dow
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Jones, Dow » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:30 pm

goosey, if you are a male and you're thinking of a wedding during a break (which would put your planning during the semester), the best advice i can give you comes from Wesley in the Princess Bride. learn the words "as you wish."

i'm married, and i am one of the friends soxt doesn't get shit-faced with at the undergrad bars. IMO, the pros of being married are much greater than any cons i can think of. everything soxy said is true for me, and i don't know what more i could add. i'm a much better student because i'm married. as long as you've got a great, unselfish partner, you should only reap the benefits. this, to me, is the key. but this is key for any marriage, not just a law-student marriage.

sorry, i wanted to add more, but everything soxy said was perfect.

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Drake014
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Drake014 » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:31 pm

birD wrote:
Do you think its better to be ft or pt? I see pros and cons to both and am wondering if theres anything anyone can add to this:

FT:
pros- obviously, u finish faster, so the time you spend as a "student" is cut down; you can be at school during the hours your spouse is at work and be home at the same time (usually)
cons- more classes=more studying=less time; if you have class during the day, that may leave studying for evening, and if youre married, that means not getting to spend time with your spouse because you and he are working/at school during the day and then you would be studying in the evening.

PT:
pros- less classes=less studying=more time; you get could study during the day while your spouse is at work and take care of some of the household stuff (dinner, etc) then go to class in the evening and be home in time to spend a few hours together before going to bed. In a way, law school could be what you do from 8 am-9pmish, and I would imagine after putting that much time into it, that would leave atleast one day during the weekend to just chill with the spouse
cons- it would take more time to finish and drag on the amount of time one spends as a "student"...also that long a day may wipe a person out, resulting in being super cranky by 9 pm and not wanting to do anything at all, much less converse with another human being


I have the SAME dilemma as you! When I'm in law school my boyfriend will be in optometry school full time. It will take him 4 years to finish optometry school, so if I go full time I will have an extra year that I have to just wait for him and do I don't know what because we are moving as soon as he is done with school. I feel like I would never see him if I went full time and he really needs me to support him and take care of him. I am leaning towards part time but I don't want to feel like a reject when people ask me why I'm going part time and I say to be there for my boyfriend and take care of him and keep our house in order. I also get overwhelmed really easily and I feel like full time might be too much for me to handle so maybe part time would be a better option... So I feel for you, it's such a hard decision!!


Dual master program

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iShotFirst
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby iShotFirst » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:32 pm

Well my wife for one is desperate for me to go to law school so i will see her more! my current job i work six days per week, 11 or 12 hours per day, and my day off is during the week while she is working. if you compare law school to most salaried jobs today you'd surely be working less, not more, I mean 8-5 or 6 at law school is less than most of us work in a normal day.

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neimanmarxist
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby neimanmarxist » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:32 pm

I think being married will make you a better student overall (great post up there ^^ )
That said, avoid wedding planning during law school at all costs. Make it small and get someone to plan it for you. You don't want to have to worry about flowers and photography when you're trying to study. I didn't even care about my wedding, and the damn thing ate my life. It could be disastrous for a 1L year .

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Cleareyes
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Cleareyes » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:33 pm

Mr. Matlock wrote: But it does give me a great idea for our Christmas spectacular!


I thought we were doing "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas" and our tag line was going to be "Hos Hos Hos."

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goosey
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby goosey » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:34 pm

Jones, Dow wrote:goosey, if you are a male and you're thinking of a wedding during a break (which would put your planning during the semester), the best advice i can give you comes from Wesley in the Princess Bride. learn the words "as you wish."

i'm married, and i am one of the friends soxt doesn't get shit-faced with at the undergrad bars. IMO, the pros of being married are much greater than any cons i can think of. everything soxy said is true for me, and i don't know what more i could add. i'm a much better student because i'm married. as long as you've got a great, unselfish partner, you should only reap the benefits. this, to me, is the key. but this is key for any marriage, not just a law-student marriage.

sorry, i wanted to add more, but everything soxy said was perfect.



well, Im a female. My fiance is extremely supportive and I am certain he will be more than willing to give a hand in the household duties to help out, but I guess my main concern is not getting time together and not being able to build a strong foundation.

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: Married During Law School?

Postby Mr. Matlock » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:35 pm

Cleareyes wrote:
Mr. Matlock wrote: But it does give me a great idea for our Christmas spectacular!


I thought we were doing "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas" and our tag line was going to be "Hos Hos Hos."

I'd love to come back but.. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:




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