Going Away Party Forum

[Associatingit]

Had a group breakfast where it was announced that An associate is leaving the firm to go in house. Partner demanded to know who was planning her going away party, then turned to the rest of us and said “Just so you know, if you leave and are not going to a potential client we are not having a party for you.”

I know this example is sorta silly, but how do people put up with the constant dehumanizing and straight exploitation these firms are putting us through? They literally have no regard for us as functioning human beings trying to live a life. Most other associates in my group seem to not be as bothered by it as I am, but their constant fear crouch whenever a partner is in the room is so pathetic. Like is everyone just putting in their time, does anyone have strategies for just getting through the day to day?

[Anonesq]

Had a group breakfast where it was announced that An associate is leaving the firm to go in house. Partner demanded to know who was planning her going away party, then turned to the rest of us and said “Just so you know, if you leave and are not going to a potential client we are not having a party for you.”

I know this example is sorta silly, but how do people put up with the constant dehumanizing and straight exploitation these firms are putting us through? They literally have no regard for us as functioning human beings trying to live a life. Most other associates in my group seem to not be as bothered by it as I am, but their constant fear crouch whenever a partner is in the room is so pathetic. Like is everyone just putting in their time, does anyone have strategies for just getting through the day to day?

It’s called stashing money in your FU Fund....Lol. Just keep smiling as you collect your paycheck every two weeks.

[ClubberLang]

I don't see the connection between the party and exploitation. Literally the only reason they are celebrating the departure is because the departing associate will be a client and the partners will want to ingratiate themselves. They'd never have a going away party if the associate were leaving for a firm. The paychecks certainly make the inhumanity of it all more bearable.

[Anonymous User]

Morale in our group is terrible right now. Recently, in a conversation about improving group morale, we were told that the group already does things to improve morale, like having going away parties for associates. That was a stunningly tone dead comment.

[QContinuum]

I don't see the connection between the party and exploitation. Literally the only reason they are celebrating the departure is because the departing associate will be a client and the partners will want to ingratiate themselves. They'd never have a going away party if the associate were leaving for a firm. The paychecks certainly make the inhumanity of it all more bearable.

Agree with the above. I don't think there's any issue with the firm wanting to go the extra mile for an associate going to a client vs. an associate going anywhere else. Why would a firm want to spend money throwing a party for a departing associate who's going to the competition?

Firms generally treat departing partners the same way, so it's not really a matter of associate exploitation. A partner going to a client or retiring gets a party, a partner lateraling to the competition doesn't.

[Person1111]

I don't see the connection between the party and exploitation. Literally the only reason they are celebrating the departure is because the departing associate will be a client and the partners will want to ingratiate themselves. They'd never have a going away party if the associate were leaving for a firm. The paychecks certainly make the inhumanity of it all more bearable.

We throw going-away events for associates going to other firms. It's short-sighted not to. Even if he or she is not a client, a former associate can still be a good referral source--but not if they leave the firm thinking that the partners were assholes.

The comparison to departing partners is not on point - partner movement typically occurs much more quickly and is much more fraught (since the partner will often take the firm's work with him/her).

[JohnnieSockran]

Had a group breakfast where it was announced that An associate is leaving the firm to go in house. Partner demanded to know who was planning her going away party, then turned to the rest of us and said “Just so you know, if you leave and are not going to a potential client we are not having a party for you.”

I know this example is sorta silly, but how do people put up with the constant dehumanizing and straight exploitation these firms are putting us through? They literally have no regard for us as functioning human beings trying to live a life. Most other associates in my group seem to not be as bothered by it as I am, but their constant fear crouch whenever a partner is in the room is so pathetic. Like is everyone just putting in their time, does anyone have strategies for just getting through the day to day?

Unless your other examples are way less silly and much more egregious, I think you need to just cash your check and stop sweating the small stuff. We all knew what we signed up for, and they pay us handsomely for it.

[QContinuum]

We throw going-away events for associates going to other firms. It's short-sighted not to. Even if he or she is not a client, a former associate can still be a good referral source--but not if they leave the firm thinking that the partners were assholes.

That's great reasoning and I absolutely agree with it. I was just pointing out that, IMO, it's not unreasonable for firms to distinguish between the two scenarios (and as seen ITT, firms do actually draw that distinction in practice).

The comparison to departing partners is not on point - partner movement typically occurs much more quickly and is much more fraught (since the partner will often take the firm's work with him/her).

I agree partner departures raise additional/different issues, but I think it was on point to mention partner departures because the thread was talking about how "dehumanizing" it was for firms to not throw parties for departing associates. My point is that partners aren't treated any better, at least on this front.

[dabigchina]

it was most likely tongue in cheek (hopefully). but yes, even as a first year, I can recognize that people who go to potential clients are treated better than people who go to current clients, who are treated better than people who go to another firm.

[objctnyrhnr]

I’ve heard a lot of anecdotes that serve as evidence that biglaw partners can be assholes and that biglaw can really suck. Honestly, though, this just isn’t one of them.

If it was a mediocre joke, okay. Fine, whatever. If he was serious, I can see how it makes sense but there are obviously arguments against this practice (parties for going away to potential clients but not for other destinations).

Either way I just really don’t think you should let this upset you TBH. If this is the worst you witness, you’re in a good shop IMO.

[Anonymous User]

I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.

That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.

[QContinuum]

I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.

That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.

Serious question: How'd you manage to rent a DTLA rooftop and have a "blowout" for $500 (okay, you went over, but I assume still within ~$600-700)? I thought those things were expensive!

[dabigchina]

I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.

That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.

Serious question: How'd you manage to rent a DTLA rooftop and have a "blowout" for $500 (okay, you went over, but I assume still within ~$600-700)? I thought those things were expensive!

it sounds more like he bought his college buddies a bunch of drinks.

[LaLiLuLeLo]

1. Go to the Standard (or Pearch)

2. sit down

3. Order $500 worth of drinks

[JohnnieSockran]

I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.

That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.

Serious question: How'd you manage to rent a DTLA rooftop and have a "blowout" for $500 (okay, you went over, but I assume still within ~$600-700)? I thought those things were expensive!

Yeah I don't think he said he "rented" out the rooftop, just went to a rooftop.

[Anonymous User]

I’m the guy whose post is being overanalyzed

Yes I didn’t rent out Standard/Perch/ect. out (obviously), just ran up a big tab (at one of those or a similar place), mostly tequila.

[abiglawyer]

OP, you're right to resent what the partner said. It's one thing to treat associates who are leaving for clients better than other departing associates; it's quite another to tell associates they're less valuable if they don't go to clients. The latter is insulting and belittling in the typical biglaw partner fashion. Those saying it doesn't matter are the associates whose bootlicking has become so reflexive and ingrained they can't bring themselves to start at the whip anymore. (These, of course, are the same associates who eventually make partner, and who therefore expect of their own associates the same kind of total evacuation of self, the worst of whom actually accomplish this, and therefore don't see the harm in doing it to *their* associates, ad nauseam.)