How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

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unlicensedpotato

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby unlicensedpotato » Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:50 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Op here. Wife is aware and supportive and told me I only need to be out a week max. We have a ton of family in the area, and multiple members will be taking time off work around that time to help out.

I’m invested in biglaw because it’s a move that I am making, in large part, for my family’s future.

I get that it’ll be a grind. I live close to the office, so I won’t worry about commuting. I’ve worked 65 hour weeks in the past and made far less money (though I acknowledge this will sometimes be considerably more hours).

What am I missing here?


Enjoy your family and new kid. The legal work will be there when you get back. It's a marathon and people will be all too happy to let you do as much as you want once you're back.

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totesTheGoat

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby totesTheGoat » Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:37 am

Anonymous User wrote:Safest option is to delay your start date by 3 months. It depends on the firm and the market. If we're talking about a large biglaw firm in NY, then it makes no difference at all. Talk to HR first to see if it's ok to delay start date by 3 months, and then email the partners to let them know once HR oks this.


My wife had our kid less than 2 months after I started a new job, and there wasn't even a question of whether to start late. It was completely off the table, especially since we were on my insurance. Granted, I was in-house, so I wasn't as concerned about being abused by my employer. I let my boss know within a couple weeks of starting, watched the deadlines on my work so that they weren't too close to the due date, arranged for somebody to back me up if the baby came unexpectedly, and I saved most of the paternity leave for later on once our extended family finally cycled through and we were alone. She was born on a Thursday night, so I took Friday, Monday, and Tuesday off, and started back to work that Wednesday. It was probably a day or two too early, but my MIL was in town, so I was a third wheel. The only issue that arose from me going to work was my sleep deprivation killing my productivity.

Funny thing is that there were 4 of us who were on paternity/maternity leave at and around the same time, and the department found a way to keep functioning. Do what's best for you and your family. You're going to be woefully unproductive if you try to power through with a minimum amount of leave. The first week is a whirlwind, and the first few months (until you establish a new rhythm of life) are hard to do without a few vacation days in your pocket.

Npret

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby Npret » Mon Jul 16, 2018 12:26 pm

RaceJudicata wrote:
Npret wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
Npret wrote:
jacketyellow wrote:This is the reason I hate big law. We have to go on social media to ask people whether we can take time off BECAUSE WE ARE HAVING A CHILD, and then when we figure out that we can take time off, we'll only take a week. Jeez. This profession....

It’s not this profession in this particular instance. OP is clueless and already invested in biglaw over his wife and baby. He hasn’t even started yet.


Op here. Wife is aware and supportive and told me I only need to be out a week max. We have a ton of family in the area, and multiple members will be taking time off work around that time to help out.

I’m invested in biglaw because it’s a move that I am making, in large part, for my family’s future.

I get that it’ll be a grind. I live close to the office, so I won’t worry about commuting. I’ve worked 65 hour weeks in the past and made far less money (though I acknowledge this will sometimes be considerably more hours).

What am I missing here?

You’re missing what I’ve told you twice. It’s not a good look to the firm if you don’t take time for your wife and baby.
It’s not going to help your career. You’re overthinking your value to the firm.
Just find out the standard leave people take at your firm and do the same.


Yep. Any normal firm would think that you are bananas for taking a WEEK off for the birth of your first child. At my firm, associates and partners would have a very negative first impression of someone who thought it was in their family's best interest to take week off for this momentous occassion. Hell, people have been weirded out by one associate who decided to only take a week off for their honeymoon.

I’ve tried to tell him three times that he’s actually going to hurt his reputation in the firm. Maybe he will listen to you.

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:31 pm

The other thing to consider is that depending on where you live, your wife will be in the hospital for a day or two. In NYC, if she has the baby Monday, they won't be coming home until Wednesday. You aren't needed when she and the baby are at the hospital - it's when you all get home that your contribution is essential. If you are hellbent on taking as little time off as possible (which, as other posters have noted, is more likely to make you look like a patsy weirdo than like a team player who bleeds firm colors), consider working at least half days while she's in the hospital.

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LaLiLuLeLo

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby LaLiLuLeLo » Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:52 pm

This must be a troll. People have taken longer (already planned) vacations when lateraling.

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:07 pm

OP should definitely take a week or two. However, I don't think it's crazy to be concerned about this - it's NY BigLaw. I was a management consultant at a place with a similarly dogshit culture, and taking two weeks paternity leave would have been viewed pretty unfavorably. Most people took maybe 3/4 days and checked email 24/7. Archaic or not, prevailing view was that paternity leave = hanging out at home with a baby doing nothing. (Maternity leave viewed differently.)

I'd also give HR/your bosses heads up ASAP. Not like you don't know that your kid is coming.

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby Npret » Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:25 pm

Anonymous User wrote:OP should definitely take a week or two. However, I don't think it's crazy to be concerned about this - it's NY BigLaw. I was a management consultant at a place with a similarly dogshit culture, and taking two weeks paternity leave would have been viewed pretty unfavorably. Most people took maybe 3/4 days and checked email 24/7. Archaic or not, prevailing view was that paternity leave = hanging out at home with a baby doing nothing. (Maternity leave viewed differently.)

I'd also give HR/your bosses heads up ASAP. Not like you don't know that your kid is coming.

I disagree. The biglaw culture I know expects people to take time off for kids, certainly more than the couple of days he suggested at first. We aren’t saying drop off the planet for weeks, but his attitude is simply wrong from what I know about firms. Plus, he’s asuming a perfect outcome, which everyone knows doesn’t always happen.

I don’t know why he doesn’t just find out from HR what the standard thing people do is. I honestly would rather know at the beginning when staffing deals that a lawyer will be out. It sounds like he wants to prove he won’t slack by telling the firm he will take as little time as possible. He should just do what is common for the firm.

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Re: How much time to take when kid is born 3 months into new lateral biglaw firm

Postby leftsharkforever » Tue Jul 17, 2018 5:59 pm

Statistically speaking, it doesn't matter how much leave you take; the economy (if not this specific firm) is going to reward you anyways:

"Each child chops 4 percent off a woman’s hourly wages, according to a 2014 analysis by a sociologist at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Men’s earnings increase by 6 percent when they become fathers, after controlling for experience, education, marital status and hours worked."

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/201 ... n=Trending



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