Summer Happy Hours with Associates? Forum

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Summer Happy Hours with Associates?

Post by Anonymous User » Fri Apr 20, 2018 1:40 am

I don't drink but understand I have to participate in "social events" during my upcoming SA. Generally, is it wise to go to happy hours during the week with associates, when it's not a "firm sponsored" thing?

Because I don't drink (and don't like hanging out in bars) I would like to avoid going out unless it is customary for me to attend. At the time I also don't want to appear anti-social.

Tl;dr: Would it be weird for me to only attend "officlal" firm functions during the week, if I made an effort to go out on Fridays/weekends?

Anonymous User
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Re: Summer Happy Hours with Associates?

Post by Anonymous User » Fri Apr 20, 2018 2:01 am

I was at a large NYC firm with a huge summer class - we're talking over 90..which was nice in the sense that I didn't really even have to show face at the "official" firm events if I didn't have to (although I did - a lot of the events were pretty fun), no one would really notice for the most part if you showed up/or if you only stayed for 20 minutes. If you're at a place with a smaller class...say anything less than 20-30, it would probably be much harder for you to skip out on things without people noticing and wondering.
However, this mostly relates to "official" events that are put on recruiting/partners. At most firms, I don't think there is much of an expectation that you show up to official events, they understand you have your own life.

sparkytrainer

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Re: Summer Happy Hours with Associates?

Post by sparkytrainer » Fri Apr 20, 2018 10:03 am

Anonymous User wrote:I don't drink but understand I have to participate in "social events" during my upcoming SA. Generally, is it wise to go to happy hours during the week with associates, when it's not a "firm sponsored" thing?

Because I don't drink (and don't like hanging out in bars) I would like to avoid going out unless it is customary for me to attend. At the time I also don't want to appear anti-social.

Tl;dr: Would it be weird for me to only attend "officlal" firm functions during the week, if I made an effort to go out on Fridays/weekends?
My advice is attend all the events. You are working for a job. A lot more summers are being no offered and cold offered than before. Just go, and drink water/iced tea/ whatever you want to drink. But you have to go to all the events. I mean if your summer class is huge, surely you can miss one or two. But I had a smaller class, and the person who missed some events happened to be the person who didn't get an offer. Funny how that worked out.

Right2BearArms

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Re: Summer Happy Hours with Associates?

Post by Right2BearArms » Fri Apr 20, 2018 10:24 am

If it is a scheduled firm event, go. Our summer class had a few notable absent people from a lot of events and it was noticed, even though they all still got offers.

Unofficial stuff, its way more up to you. Chances are though that going out in a less formal setting will be a good time to actually chat with and get to know people in your class and associates at the firm. I would encourage going. If you don't drink, no one will really notice or care. Get a soda, or a water or nothing if you aren't thirsty and just be a person. I think the "am I strange if I dont drink" aspect is overplayed, at least in my experience.

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Re: Summer Happy Hours with Associates?

Post by Anonymous User » Fri Apr 20, 2018 10:45 am

I was at a v10 firm with a class of 90+. There aren't official firm events on Friday/weekends because partners and associates want to go home and not entertain summers on weekends. I think it's important to know that a lot of firm events have alcohol but aren't just "happy hours." Could be karaoke, plays, bowling, boat cruises, etc. No one is monitoring whether you are drinking or not, so grab a soda water with lime if you feel better holding it, and chat with people. I think declining to go to events entirely would be noticed (by the firm and your classmates), but not sure that it would be a basis to not get an offer if you were otherwise a good employee. That said, the events are a good chance to get to know the people you're working with, and I'd recommend going.

On whether it's "wise" to go to happy hours that are not official events, you can say no. No one will keep track of this. But if an associate is asking you to get a drink outside of an official event it's probably because they have taken an interest in you, and that's good. Pivot it into coffee instead, lunch that week, or go along and don't have a drink, or don't go. I don't think how you handle this will be held against you.

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Anonymous User
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Re: Summer Happy Hours with Associates?

Post by Anonymous User » Fri Apr 20, 2018 12:53 pm

Thank you to everyone for your insight!

shock259

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Re: Summer Happy Hours with Associates?

Post by shock259 » Fri Apr 20, 2018 1:35 pm

I think the best line of thinking is that the weekdays are for summer associate life and the weekends are your own.

As others have noted, depending on summer class size, you may or may not be able to get away with missing some events. But you should attend each scheduled event unless there is a compelling reason you can't. If there are unscheduled or impromptu events, you'll have to discern the context. If a some senior associates come to your office and ask you to come out, you really need to go. If someone blasts the entire summer email listserv and says to come downstairs in 5 minutes for a happy hour, less pressure.

Also, I wouldn't worry much about the not drinking piece. Just get seltzer and hang out for a bit. And feel free to leave if things devolve (as they sometimes do at the informal events). You definitely don't need to be going to the third bar at 2am if you're not drinking and not otherwise feeling it. But making appearances is really important.

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