consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

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objctnyrhnr

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consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby objctnyrhnr » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:03 pm

Is it crazy to consider removing a wedding ring for a biglaw junior lateral interview?

The idea being a concern that they will want junior associates to have max time for firm and not to have families (or at least not to think about having kids yet)...

Is this absurd, or is there something to be said for discussing this?

WheatThins

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby WheatThins » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:05 pm

However you'll be most comfortable and keep you from stressing.

lawhopeful100

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby lawhopeful100 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:19 pm

Image

I know what Baldwin in the departed would say.

AZ123

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby AZ123 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:19 pm

I think it's absurd. Just be yourself. There are plenty of married people in biglaw.

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby objctnyrhnr » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:31 pm

AZ123 wrote:I think it's absurd. Just be yourself. There are plenty of married people in biglaw.


So I was focusing specifically on junior associates where I feel like a lot of 20 somethings who just graduated law school (or even 1Ls in oci) are not married.

I’m not saying I’m worried of getting rejected because of it. I’m just saying if there’s a question of whether you’ll put in the hours when they are starting out, aren’t people without their own families more likely to be able to do that? Is that something that could possibly be considered by the interviewer is my question, I guess...and if so....

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star fox

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby star fox » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:36 pm

Seems like a lot of Big Law people are married and manage to completely disregard family in favor of work obligations just fine so I dunno if it'd be an issue.

imnottelling

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby imnottelling » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:36 pm

I wore my wedding ring for my big law interviews. I never wear it any other time. No doubt my age and gender brings up a maternity leave concern. I decided to wear it to project stability, but I don’t think it mattered at all. Had several big law NYC and DC offers. I think my interview skills got me the SA offer—not my wedding ring.

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A. Nony Mouse

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:40 pm

This has come up before. Partly it depends if you're a man or a woman (the stereotypical concern is that men look like they'll be stable/stick with the job b/c they have to support the family a la Baldwin above, but women will look like they're going to flee to have kids and not come back). I think the concern that this is going to sink someone is way way way overblown, that 99% of people won't notice/care, that there are in fact a gazillion married people in biglaw even as junior associates, and that taking off a wedding ring just plays into those kinds of attitudes and fuck them. But I'm also not interviewing, so this is probably correct:
WheatThins wrote:However you'll be most comfortable and keep you from stressing.


(Keep in mind that I've been married long enough that even when I'm not wearing my ring it's totally obvious that I usually wear a ring, which might lead your interviewer to wonder if you just got divorced, which I think is weirder/more awkward than just wearing the ring. But that may not be the case for you.)

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:26 am

I'm a female senior associate. I can honestly say that I've never even looked at an interviewee's ring finger, whether they are male or female, and their marital status is not remotely relevant to my evaluation process. After I review their resume and satisfy myself that they are qualified, I'm listening for how interested in/committed to biglaw they are, what kind of work ethic they are likely to bring to the table (which I do not evaluate based on their marital status), how whip-smart they are, and whether their interests within law align with what we do.

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PeanutsNJam

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby PeanutsNJam » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:29 am

This is absurd.

mcmand

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby mcmand » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:53 am

Overthinking it. You said you don't think you'd get rejected, but then you explain how in your head you think you would get rejected.

Chill OP. Wear your ring, don't wear it, whatever you usually do.

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby jacketyellow » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:31 am

Are all lawyers THIS neurotic? Is this the reason why most of us are on anti-anxiety medications?

mcmand

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby mcmand » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:38 am

jacketyellow wrote:Are all lawyers THIS neurotic? Is this the reason why most of us are on anti-anxiety medications?


Yes
Last edited by mcmand on Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Dr. Nefario

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby Dr. Nefario » Mon Jan 15, 2018 7:26 am

The only time this should matter is if your ring is a figet issue. I didn’t wear my ring during interviews because I play with it when I get nervous. Other than a consideration like that, wear it, don’t wear it, whatever you do normally.

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jbagelboy

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby jbagelboy » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:31 am

This has been said before, but if a law firm makes you feel uncomfortable or at a disadvantage because you are married, you should not be considering that firm because its likely a terrible, terrible place to work

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TLSModBot

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby TLSModBot » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:34 am

jbagelboy wrote:This has been said before, but if a law firm makes you feel uncomfortable or at a disadvantage because you are married, you should not be considering that firm because its likely a terrible, terrible place to work

Thank God that firms which are terrible places to work are so few and far between!

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Lincoln

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby Lincoln » Mon Jan 15, 2018 1:04 pm

"The Firm encourages children."

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby run26.2 » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:50 pm

Capitol_Idea wrote:
jbagelboy wrote:This has been said before, but if a law firm makes you feel uncomfortable or at a disadvantage because you are married, you should not be considering that firm because its likely a terrible, terrible place to work

Thank God that firms which are terrible places to work are so few and far between!

Lol.

To op: Assume that a firm might consider your marital status when giving you an offer, it favors single people, you get an offer, and then it turns out that you're actually married. How do you think that would bode for you?

In my mind, seems to make sense to give an accurate picture of what is important to you. If a firm decides that you aren't the right fit because of something like marital status, better for you to not get an offer than to figure that out after you start.

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby ambrajdurbra131313 » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:57 pm

AZ123 wrote:I think it's absurd. Just be yourself. There are plenty of married people in biglaw.

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tyrant_flycatcher

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby tyrant_flycatcher » Mon Jan 15, 2018 5:29 pm

run26.2 wrote:
Capitol_Idea wrote:
jbagelboy wrote:This has been said before, but if a law firm makes you feel uncomfortable or at a disadvantage because you are married, you should not be considering that firm because its likely a terrible, terrible place to work

Thank God that firms which are terrible places to work are so few and far between!

Lol.

To op: Assume that a firm might consider your marital status when giving you an offer, it favors single people, you get an offer, and then it turns out that you're actually married. How do you think that would bode for you?

In my mind, seems to make sense to give an accurate picture of what is important to you. If a firm decides that you aren't the right fit because of something like marital status, better for you to not get an offer than to figure that out after you start.


Not everyone has the luxury of being able to consider multiple offers. For many people one bad offer is better than no offers at all.

As has been said previously, I would do whatever makes you feel most comfortable, OP.

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby run26.2 » Thu Jan 18, 2018 1:30 am

tyrant_flycatcher wrote:
run26.2 wrote:
Capitol_Idea wrote:
jbagelboy wrote:This has been said before, but if a law firm makes you feel uncomfortable or at a disadvantage because you are married, you should not be considering that firm because its likely a terrible, terrible place to work

Thank God that firms which are terrible places to work are so few and far between!

Lol.

To op: Assume that a firm might consider your marital status when giving you an offer, it favors single people, you get an offer, and then it turns out that you're actually married. How do you think that would bode for you?

In my mind, seems to make sense to give an accurate picture of what is important to you. If a firm decides that you aren't the right fit because of something like marital status, better for you to not get an offer than to figure that out after you start.


Not everyone has the luxury of being able to consider multiple offers. For many people one bad offer is better than no offers at all.

As has been said previously, I would do whatever makes you feel most comfortable, OP.


First of all, this is a lateral interview. It's not like the OP doesn't have a job. Second, your comment about this relating to an "offer" makes no sense. Third, even assuming this was OCI and this was OP's only interview (or assuming this is OP's only lateral interview), I disagree that a person should act in a way to create a false impression about themselves to maximize a chance at an offer. Others may disagree, but in my experience, that type of conduct doesn't out well in the long run.

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tyrant_flycatcher

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby tyrant_flycatcher » Thu Jan 18, 2018 8:46 am

run26.2 wrote:
tyrant_flycatcher wrote:
run26.2 wrote:
Capitol_Idea wrote:
jbagelboy wrote:This has been said before, but if a law firm makes you feel uncomfortable or at a disadvantage because you are married, you should not be considering that firm because its likely a terrible, terrible place to work

Thank God that firms which are terrible places to work are so few and far between!

Lol.

To op: Assume that a firm might consider your marital status when giving you an offer, it favors single people, you get an offer, and then it turns out that you're actually married. How do you think that would bode for you?

In my mind, seems to make sense to give an accurate picture of what is important to you. If a firm decides that you aren't the right fit because of something like marital status, better for you to not get an offer than to figure that out after you start.


Not everyone has the luxury of being able to consider multiple offers. For many people one bad offer is better than no offers at all.

As has been said previously, I would do whatever makes you feel most comfortable, OP.


First of all, this is a lateral interview. It's not like the OP doesn't have a job. Second, your comment about this relating to an "offer" makes no sense. Third, even assuming this was OCI and this was OP's only interview (or assuming this is OP's only lateral interview), I disagree that a person should act in a way to create a false impression about themselves to maximize a chance at an offer. Others may disagree, but in my experience, that type of conduct doesn't out well in the long run.


I am aware this is a lateral interview. Surely you can imagine situations in which OP must lateral fast. Maybe OP is being pushed out and is running out of website time. Maybe OP has a sick family member in another state and needs to be closer to home. I expect that when my partner and I eventually decide to relocate to our secondary city of choice, one of us may not be able to wait out our dream job if we want to move at the same time. Hopefully OP is lateraling under different circumstances, but I don't think any of the above scenarios are far fetched.

Second, your comment about this relating to an "offer" makes no sense.


So, in fact, my comment about this relating to an offer does make sense. As for whether OP should remove her ring, we can agree to disagree.

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kellyfrost

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby kellyfrost » Thu Jan 18, 2018 10:29 am

The only time I purposefully don't wear my wedding ring is when I travel on business trips.
Last edited by kellyfrost on Sat Jan 27, 2018 11:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

mcmand

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby mcmand » Thu Jan 18, 2018 10:36 am

kellyfrost wrote:The only time I purposefully don't wear my wedding ring is when I travel on business trips.


I can't tell if joking or serious.

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kellyfrost

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Re: consider removing wedding ring for BL interv?

Postby kellyfrost » Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:24 pm

mcmand wrote:
kellyfrost wrote:The only time I purposefully don't wear my wedding ring is when I travel on business trips.


I can't tell if joking or serious.


That was my goal... to make you think.
Last edited by kellyfrost on Sat Jan 27, 2018 11:43 am, edited 1 time in total.



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