ookoshi wrote:LaLiLuLeLo wrote:"Don't take it personally" doesn't mean that there's no personal vendetta
Actually, coming from a third party, that's exactly what it means. That's almost always the intent of the speaker, and it's also how most people interpret that statement in that context.
or that it's fine because they treat everyone like this.
No one here has suggested "it's fine" because they treat everyone like this. Look, I can't help it if you keep choosing to interpret the statement in a way that allows you to be outraged, but no one here is saying that "it's fine," so I'm not sure who or what your outrage is directed at.
If someone told me "this is garbage, can you even think?", for example, I would take it personally because it's a *personal* insult directed to my intelligence.
That being said, I wouldn't take general yelling personally, but if there are insults mixed in (and let's be honest, there always are insults, usually centered around one's cognitive ability) I would absolutely take it personally. Because it is personal.
Again, when you're being yelled at, *why* you're being yelled at frames the scope of the problem and what the best strategy is to address it. The content of the yelling matters too, but that's not the point people are trying to make with the "it's not personal" comment.
At the end of the day, I understand that, from your point of view, that comment "comes off as sounding like" people are minimizing it *to you.* But if no one means it that way, why do you choose to keep interpreting it that way? It seems like at some point, interpreting it in a different way than what the speaker intends just creates an excuse to criticize the comment.