Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

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Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:31 am

I'm a 3L who has accepted an offer to work in BigLaw after graduation and I am also a newlywed. My husband and I have been trying for a baby since this summer (unsuccessfully) and we are trying to determine when we should pause our baby-making efforts. I strongly dislike the idea of a job dictating our family making plans; however, I can't help but feel like it would be unreasonable for me to ask for a delayed start date or for me to take maternity leave a few months into a new job. So, how frowned upon would I be if I asked to delay my start date or if I took maternity leave during my first year?

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Re: Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:59 am

Very tricky. I am a 3L having a baby in May, and turned down a biglaw offer when I found out, largely because I didn't want to start a stressful job with crazy hours when I had a newborn. I would worry less about pissing off the firm and more about your and your family's mental, physical and emotional health.

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Re: Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:16 am

Anonymous User wrote:Very tricky. I am a 3L having a baby in May, and turned down a biglaw offer when I found out, largely because I didn't want to start a stressful job with crazy hours when I had a newborn. I would worry less about pissing off the firm and more about your and your family's mental, physical and emotional health.


OP here. This would be baby #2 for me (I have a child from a previous relationship) and I went back to work a month after having my first so I think I have a handle on the health and new baby expectations side. If this was another field, I would be less unsure of what to do but I feel as if the legal profession has it's own set of rules when it comes to delayed start dates and maternity leave.

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JenDarby
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Re: Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby JenDarby » Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:59 am

search this forum for "pregnant" and "pregnancy" if you haven't already

this issue has come up repeatedly over the years, and while I don't recall the precise circumstances the answers generally that any time is acceptable for biglaw, but the sooner the better even. ppl on here have started then left, pushed back start dates, etc to have their babies

once you are actually pregnant and within the time frame where it's "safe" to tell people, email the recruiting coordinator and let them know the situation and they can discuss maternity leave options with you. you won't be the first person to have approached them for this and they shouldnt be caught off guard

denvieboco
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Re: Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby denvieboco » Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:32 pm

I would try to find out more specifics of your firm's maternity leave policy. Mine, for example, doesn't give paid leave until you've been employed by the firm for 12 months.

jd20132013
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Re: Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby jd20132013 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 7:25 pm

denvieboco wrote:I would try to find out more specifics of your firm's maternity leave policy. Mine, for example, doesn't give paid leave until you've been employed by the firm for 12 months.



if that's legal it's pretty sad

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RCSOB657
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Re: Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby RCSOB657 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 7:27 pm

jd20132013 wrote:
denvieboco wrote:I would try to find out more specifics of your firm's maternity leave policy. Mine, for example, doesn't give paid leave until you've been employed by the firm for 12 months.



if that's legal it's pretty sad



FMLA is unpaid leave.

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Re: Getting Pregnant as a 3L - Delay 1st year start date?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:18 am

Not in biglaw but just had baby #3. Got pregnant with baby #2 3 months after I started working in a small firm. I was so stressed about it at the time. But really there is never a right time to have babies. Most of us graduate law school at our prime baby making age so it’s perfectly normal to pop out babies soon after graduating. Don’t revolve your life around your job because at the end of the day your job doesn’t give two sh*ts about you. Just keep trying for baby and if you get pregnant (yey!) figure out what your next step will be then. You may end up having a super easy pregnancy and working through it won’t be so bad. Or you could end up vomiting your brains out everyday so delaying your start date might be a better idea. If your job is going to throw a hissy fit about you being pregnant then you have to ask yourself if you really want to work there to begin with especially with small children. With that said... it probably would be better to work for at least 1 year before trying for baby and get some experience under your belt. So if biglaw turns out to not be right for you, you can find a smaller/more flexible firm or do something else. Also, it would be good idea to get to know your husband a little bit more and not be newlyweds before cranking out kids. I was with my husband for 8 years before we started having kids together and we were already raising my son from a previous relationship. A brand new baby will test your marriage like nothing else. Our marriage is rock solid but when we had our first new baby the “cracks” became very visible. It’s a good idea to be a little more stable in your marriage before taking that jump. Just my two cents.




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