Pre-OCI crisis

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Anonymous User
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Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:33 pm

Hi,

I did really badly 1L year (at a T14, if that matters), most probably because my (single) parent was diagnosed with a terminal illness right before fall finals and it got much worse around spring finals and I was getting recurring panic attacks the whole time. They were just rushed to the ER and I know this is really horrible and shallow to even think about but I think there's a strong chance of them dying right before OCI, and since I'm an only child I'll have to handle all of the executor/funeral planning stuff. They're located on the other side of the country, and I don't know what to do because even though I'm mass-mailing I think due to my bad grades OCI is my one chance to get a firm job and I can't miss it.

Has anyone ever been through anything like this? How did you handle it?

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Mullens

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Mullens » Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:52 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Hi,

I did really badly 1L year (at a T14, if that matters), most probably because my (single) parent was diagnosed with a terminal illness right before fall finals and it got much worse around spring finals and I was getting recurring panic attacks the whole time. They were just rushed to the ER and I know this is really horrible and shallow to even think about but I think there's a strong chance of them dying right before OCI, and since I'm an only child I'll have to handle all of the executor/funeral planning stuff. They're located on the other side of the country, and I don't know what to do because even though I'm mass-mailing I think due to my bad grades OCI is my one chance to get a firm job and I can't miss it.

Has anyone ever been through anything like this? How did you handle it?


Fuck OCI. Go be with your parent if it's that serious. There are other ways to get biglaw jobs than OCI and you'll be fine from a T14.

Lesion of Doom

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Lesion of Doom » Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:55 pm

I lost my mother as an undergrad. I think about her all the time and would be ecstatic to have just one day with her. I won't presume to understand the nature of your relationship, but I also don't think you should feel you're destroying your career by taking the time off.

Anonymous User
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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:59 pm

Mullens wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Hi,

I did really badly 1L year (at a T14, if that matters), most probably because my (single) parent was diagnosed with a terminal illness right before fall finals and it got much worse around spring finals and I was getting recurring panic attacks the whole time. They were just rushed to the ER and I know this is really horrible and shallow to even think about but I think there's a strong chance of them dying right before OCI, and since I'm an only child I'll have to handle all of the executor/funeral planning stuff. They're located on the other side of the country, and I don't know what to do because even though I'm mass-mailing I think due to my bad grades OCI is my one chance to get a firm job and I can't miss it.

Has anyone ever been through anything like this? How did you handle it?


Fuck OCI. Go be with your parent if it's that serious. There are other ways to get biglaw jobs than OCI and you'll be fine from a T14.


I'm flying out tomorrow morning. I think things will be all over by the time OCI starts- it's not for a few weeks- I just can't fathom doing OCI while I'm an emotional wreck, but I've sent out over a hundred mass mailings with no bites and I think putting off the job search would make my anxiety worse.

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:12 pm

This is the kind of situation where you send out an SOS to your career services and any professors you are close with. Let them know what's going on and lean on them. They can get you through OCI if you still want to do it as best as they can. Ask for all the help, seriously. Put up the bat signal and don't be afraid to admit you need people to get you through this. You'll come out on the other side, I promise, but let people help you.

jlittletree

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby jlittletree » Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:13 pm

Have you considered taking a semester/year off? You could forget about OCI stress, focus on family, etc and come back at full capacity and kill OCI/2L next year. Just a thought. I'm just thinking the way things are now you might be distracted/exhausted during OCI and also possibly in the fall as well when it comes to school.

Anonymous User
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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:15 pm

You should do OCI.

I did OCI during a horrific, screaming-on-the-phone custody battle (had no idea where my kid would be living, so the "why [market]" questions were particularly fun). Turned in the wrong resume to a few places, said some incredibly dumb stuff in a few screeners (and blew a few callbacks)...but I got a job. I got exactly one offer, but one is enough.

It was almost completely sheer dumb luck, given that I was an emotional wreck, but it happened.

So yeah. Go easy on yourself if you mess something up, but you need to try.

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:17 pm

jlittletree wrote:Have you considered taking a semester/year off? You could forget about OCI stress, focus on family, etc and come back at full capacity and kill OCI/2L next year. Just a thought. I'm just thinking the way things are now you might be distracted/exhausted during OCI and also possibly in the fall as well when it comes to school.


You can probably still do this if you strike out at OCI.

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:20 pm

jlittletree wrote:Have you considered taking a semester/year off? You could forget about OCI stress, focus on family, etc and come back at full capacity and kill OCI/2L next year. Just a thought. I'm just thinking the way things are now you might be distracted/exhausted during OCI and also possibly in the fall as well when it comes to school.


I've been considering doing that, but I took time off from high school when my other parent died and it made me more depressed. I'm the type of person that feels like a failure if I have todelay things, even though I know it's stupid and irrational.

Anonymous User
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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:24 pm

Anonymous User wrote:You should do OCI.

I did OCI during a horrific, screaming-on-the-phone custody battle (had no idea where my kid would be living, so the "why [market]" questions were particularly fun). Turned in the wrong resume to a few places, said some incredibly dumb stuff in a few screeners (and blew a few callbacks)...but I got a job. I got exactly one offer, but one is enough.

It was almost completely sheer dumb luck, given that I was an emotional wreck, but it happened.

So yeah. Go easy on yourself if you mess something up, but you need to try.


Thanks, that really helps.

Anonymous User
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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:18 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
jlittletree wrote:Have you considered taking a semester/year off? You could forget about OCI stress, focus on family, etc and come back at full capacity and kill OCI/2L next year. Just a thought. I'm just thinking the way things are now you might be distracted/exhausted during OCI and also possibly in the fall as well when it comes to school.


I've been considering doing that, but I took time off from high school when my other parent died and it made me more depressed. I'm the type of person that feels like a failure if I have todelay things, even though I know it's stupid and irrational.


Custody anon here.

Yes, this makes sense. For me, it also helped an enormous amount to have school (minus the serious grade pressure of 1L) to distract me. Professors are relatively relaxed if you have real stuff going on, and you can take a relatively light courseload, but it definitely keeps you out of the house, around people, gives you short-term goals, etc. I, personally, did not even really consider taking time off because I know that I would have been lost without the structure and purpose that law school brought to my (otherwise disastrous) life.

RaceJudicata

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby RaceJudicata » Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:24 pm

Most importantly, I'm so sorry To hear what you are goingthrough. I can't even begin to imagine the stress.

Take the below advice. They will help. Most schools also have a dean that handles situations like this as well. They have a strong incentive for you to succeed. Talk w/them and go from there. Good luck!

Anonymous User wrote:This is the kind of situation where you send out an SOS to your career services and any professors you are close with. Let them know what's going on and lean on them. They can get you through OCI if you still want to do it as best as they can. Ask for all the help, seriously. Put up the bat signal and don't be afraid to admit you need people to get you through this. You'll come out on the other side, I promise, but let people help you.

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lebongenre

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby lebongenre » Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:56 pm

Anonymous User wrote:This is the kind of situation where you send out an SOS to your career services and any professors you are close with. Let them know what's going on and lean on them. They can get you through OCI if you still want to do it as best as they can. Ask for all the help, seriously. Put up the bat signal and don't be afraid to admit you need people to get you through this. You'll come out on the other side, I promise, but let people help you.


Good luck OP! *hugs*

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Br3v

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby Br3v » Thu Jul 20, 2017 12:25 am

Spend time with your family, that's what matters. But there is nothing to feel ashamed about by reaching out to your career services, and let them handle all the employment stuff for you. At the least they can get you set up for taking another swing at oci next year, and can likely do much more for this year.

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265489164158

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Re: Pre-OCI crisis

Postby 265489164158 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 12:57 am

I am so sorry you're going through this. I had a similar experience during 1L with my mother, but she declined very quickly and I lost her during finals. I was able to spend the last week of her life with her, though. It was very rewarding and I have no regrets. Interviewees will understand your family situation & your school will likely be very supportive. And yes, when it was all said and done, I found some solace in returning to my studies and having something to do. If I had taken a semester off, I'm not sure what I would have done with myself. But again, I'm so very sorry.



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