Fiance won't quit stressful job

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Re: Fiance won't quit stressful job

Postby elendinel » Thu May 25, 2017 9:48 am

A. Nony Mouse wrote:
elendinel wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:I think that's a matter of opinion, honestly.

You don't have a mental condition just because you prioritize work more than other people prioritize work. There are, to be sure, people who take it too far because of mental health issues, but that does not make having work be a priority, at its core, a mental health issue. Just like eating more cake than your friends doesn't make you psychotic just because cake in excess is harmful and because some people take cake-eating too far. We can all agree to disagree as to whether we would ourselves value work over, say, a family, and whether or not we'd want to date or marry someone who feels that way (I wouldn't either, personally), but then we're talking about moral judgments, not actual disorders.

OP's fiancee sounds more like she may have an actual condition because her hours aren't that long and because she's having an unusual amount of trouble adjusting to the stress of her job, even years after starting, to the point where it's physically affecting her. If the issue was just that she worked 9-8 and didn't care about missing kid's baseball game to work on motions, that's not necessarily a quality I'd want in a partner, but that's not necessarily a mental issue, either.

But I also think there are mental health issues that manifest as workaholism, and that could be involved in what the husband is doing. So opinion wasn't the best word, but I think the distinction being drawn could be artificial - we don't have sufficient information to say this is really different.

I guess I trust that poster's ability to know whether or not there was a difference, since (s)he's the one who made the distinction.

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Re: Fiance won't quit stressful job

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Thu May 25, 2017 11:07 am

With all due respect to that poster, they're REALLY close to the situation.

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