Anonymous User wrote: WinterComing wrote:
lolwat wrote:you offered absolutely nothing to this discussion.
Uh, yeah. That was the point. I think this discussion is distasteful and shouldn't be happening. Why would I also add in my equally unqualified opinion?
I'm sorry that you find this conversation distasteful. However, I need to figure out a way to deal with this asap, as this "wake up call" may be the best time to attack this head on.
If I wait 2-3 months ( or whatever time you deem appropriate) then she may have reverted to her old ways of thinking making any substantive changes unlikely.
This is not only about me. This job may literally kill her. I've waited 2 yrs. How much longer should I wait?
Look, I actually kind of agree with Winter here. You committed to marry her and that isn't a joke - even if you haven't signed the papers yet. What if the roles were reversed?
I really recommend you depersonalize this situation and just take care of her. Maybe you have, but I guarantee the ultimatums to her right now are not going to help the situation. I suffer from anxiety and I think i can relate to the pressure.
I also want to maybe suggest there might be something else going on at work, or otherwise, that might be exacerbating this - any chance she is getting harassed? Anything that could have happened to her that caused particular trauma that you might not know about.
I just know that for the most part, the best decisions I've made is when I've given people I love the benefit of the doubt. Obviously not having blinders on, but really learning to love someone means doing it even when they're extremely difficult to love.
Also, I would recommend involving her family or close friends, letting them know you're worried and concerned. She should have other people who love and care for her that you should tap into, so the burden isn't entirely on you. Church community perhaps?