A. Nony Mouse wrote: Phil Brooks wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote: Because yes, it absolutely is negative and hugely reactionary to assume you should handle men one way and women another.
What if the stereotype is that women are more emotionally mature than men, and so you should address problems with women honestly whereas should use flattery with men? Would this be "negative and hugely reactionary"?
Yes. It's not about whether the stereotype is negative, it's about the dangers of stereotyping at all. Deal with people as individuals based on your understanding of them as an individual person, don't make assumptions based on gender.
People saying to handle this differently if its a women vs. a man, that's some sexist BS, and I say that as a relatively-non-weirdo guy. OP should treat the other associate as a professional, regardless of that person's gender. I'm with Nony here. She's not overreacting at all.
That being said, I kinda think OP needs to stand up to this other associate. In a law firm, people in your same class are not your boss; they're equals. Never tolerate someone screaming at you unless you have to (because they're a partner or an associate much more senior than you). If someone does that, you should immediately tell them you'll talk to them when they can act civilly. Also, in a pro bono case, usually the partner isn't going to divy up the work as he/she would in a paid case. So it comes to the associates to figure out who will do what. Naturally, some people will take on more work than others due to interest, availability, initiative. If this other associate never spoke to you about wanting to redistribute the work more equitably, then he/she had no right to blow up at you. Instead, he/she should ask you if you would mind taking on a bit more.