Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

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Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:22 pm

I did all this stuff that I thought would get me biglaw: good grades, law review, extra curricular activities. I was hoping to be able to change the fortunes of my family and move into a higher income bracket. It didn't happen. Maybe I was too asp-y, maybe I interviewed for shit, maybe I was too old and they wanted someone younger.

My problem is now I have to go to law review meetings and do this academic BDSM crap like cite checks and comments and I am around 24 year old kids who will make more in their first year out of school than I have ever made in my life, and they campaign for law review president like they are Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite (Vote for Pedro and all of your wildest fantasies will come true.).

I try to get over it and move on, hustle for networking opportunities and tell myself I am not totally out of it yet. Maybe 3L hiring is a thing? Maybe I get a tax LLM and get another shot at biglaw?

Then, I am stuck in class or doing some law review drudgery with kids whose parents are lawyers and probably introduced them to people or whatever and I can't help but think that either I got screwed or I screwed up.

So, does anyone know of a good way to get over this butt hurt feeling and move on?

it'sjustme

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby it'sjustme » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:23 pm

Run your own race and stop letting those around you dictate your feelings. Let them deal with their own lives.

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Mullens

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Mullens » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:27 pm

Where do you go to school? And you're a 2L?

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:27 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I did all this stuff that I thought would get me biglaw: good grades, law review, extra curricular activities. I was hoping to be able to change the fortunes of my family and move into a higher income bracket. It didn't happen. Maybe I was too asp-y, maybe I interviewed for shit, maybe I was too old and they wanted someone younger.

My problem is now I have to go to law review meetings and do this academic BDSM crap like cite checks and comments and I am around 24 year old kids who will make more in their first year out of school than I have ever made in my life, and they campaign for law review president like they are Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite (Vote for Pedro and all of your wildest fantasies will come true.).

I try to get over it and move on, hustle for networking opportunities and tell myself I am not totally out of it yet. Maybe 3L hiring is a thing? Maybe I get a tax LLM and get another shot at biglaw?

Then, I am stuck in class or doing some law review drudgery with kids whose parents are lawyers and probably introduced them to people or whatever and I can't help but think that either I got screwed or I screwed up.

So, does anyone know of a good way to get over this butt hurt feeling and move on?


What's your school ranked? Not to be an elitist or anything but that will affect how you should act w/r/t your job search going forward.

3L hiring is a thing... for like almost no one. Don't count on it. You'll have to hustle.

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A. Nony Mouse

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:31 pm

For sympathy's sake, you might find reading the Vale sort of edifying - especially when the thread first began, I think there was a fair amount of discussion of this kind of emotional reaction. The only thing I can say is that it's human nature to feel the way you do and it sucks, but you will get over it eventually, even if not on the timeline you hoped for. I hope you get a good job soon.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:32 pm

OP here, SMU is the school.

I am hustling as best I can, not easy for an introvert like me.

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zot1

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby zot1 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:37 pm

OP,

Although you may be off the biglaw race, it doesn't mean other opportunities won't be available for you. You have to trust your own process. Keep hustling. Get your work done.

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Easterbork

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Easterbork » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:41 pm

A flower does not think of competing with the flowers next to it. It just blooms.

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dbalkaran

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby dbalkaran » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:42 pm

You can start at a smaller firm and work up from there. Now is the time to work even harder if you want to accomplish your goals.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Civilservant » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:45 pm

Jealousy and envy are strong emotions. I've felt deflated and empty from the thought of never having a career. I sympathize with you. There are far worse experiences in life than what you are facing now, I can attest to it. I've had friends who have been wildly successful and others who haven't, that is just your lot in life sometimes. You choose your own adventure. Live your truth.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:03 pm

The danger is letting yourself fall into a state of mind where things seem hopeless. It's easy to burn out if you outwork others to place at the top of the class, actually do place at the top of the class and see them get jobs over you. You start thinking, "why was I even stressed or motivated to begin with?" i should just take it easy and what happens-happens. This is the mental path to shit drudgery. You need to think you were right to try hard, succeeded and got very unlucky. If you succeed again, things will be better. Even if it's not true, it's still more likely to work than not trying. I think another thing to keep in mind is that the hiring process is not always going to be fair. Law is conservative, and you're going to find more racism, sexism, classism, etc. in law than other professions. You have to adapt, and not feel entitled to be judged solely on merit.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:14 pm

dbalkaran wrote:You can start at a smaller firm and work up from there. Now is the time to work even harder if you want to accomplish your goals.

I know that you're just trying to be helpful, but 0Ls aren't really supposed to post in this forum (no questions/comments or answers only if they have very specialized experience relevant to the question).

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby kalvano » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:34 pm

Anonymous User wrote:OP here, SMU is the school.

I am hustling as best I can, not easy for an introvert like me.


I graduated from SMU. I was not a stellar student, but not bad either (top 30% or so by graduation, but 50% at the end of 1L). I did the awful law review crap (PM me if you want to rant about specific journals). I was 30-ish at the time and got on moderately well with folks at school, but not really good friends with all but a few.

I had no job at graduation, a kid, and I was not thrilled with the way things turned out. Fast forward to now, I've been practicing for a little over 3 years, my firm is pretty awesome, and I made a truckload of cash last year.

Hang in there, dude or dudette. Work your ass off with the job hunt and it will get better. Pretty much everyone I know from law school is doing alright now, and most are making good money and generally pleased with life.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:35 pm

Easterbork wrote:A flower does not think of competing with the flowers next to it. It just blooms.


Honestly, this is the best advice on here. Just go out and hustle and try and set yourself apart in some way. Network and try to make people like you (i.e. don't come off looking for a job, try to get to know professionals and have them want to help you). This could end up being a blessing and you can end up learning some great people skills that will help you the rest of your life.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby rpupkin » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:42 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I did all this stuff that I thought would get me biglaw: good grades, law review, extra curricular activities. I was hoping to be able to change the fortunes of my family and move into a higher income bracket. It didn't happen. Maybe I was too asp-y, maybe I interviewed for shit, maybe I was too old and they wanted someone younger.

. . . or maybe you decided to attend a law school that doesn't place well in big law. I'm not saying this to be mean. Own your choices. You decided to attend SMU, where you knew (or should have known) that the likely outcome was some non-big-law job. Well, now the likely outcome has materialized, so make the most of it.

Many in big law are miserable. Some of the happiest lawyers I know skipped big law and went straight into a smaller local firm or into government. Focus on those opportunities.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby mjb447 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:55 pm

I went to a school that was supposed to basically guarantee biglaw and got a bunch of callbacks, but nothing materialized (made some mistakes and went to law school during the nadir of the financial crisis). It was awful to listen to people hem and haw about which $160K offer they should accept and later what prestigious clerkship they should accept while I was trying to find anything at all. Didn't get anything until January of 3L, and it paid a lot less than $160K, but I'm happy it worked out how it did. It sucks, but there's still time to get something if you don't get too much in your own way. (I agree with other commenters that it likely won't be biglaw - even at much 'better' schools, 3L biglaw hiring is virtually nonexistent.)

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby lavarman84 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 2:24 am

Don't get over it. However, rather than using it to pity yourself, use it to motivate yourself. Use it as a chip on your shoulder. Let it push you to set goals and accomplish them. We don't always succeed. You can let the failure define and defeat you, or you can use that failure to drive you to succeed.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Johann » Wed Mar 29, 2017 2:28 am

Agree with kalvano. It'll be better than alright in the long term. In the meantime, do your bullshit journal work(it's more interesting and easier than most biglaw work for juniors), come up with a backup plan (biglaw juniors also do this when they don't like their job) about how you'll maximize other opportunities (hint - network).

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby grixxlybear99 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 7:58 am

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose - LBJ

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zot1

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby zot1 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:08 am

mjb447 wrote:I went to a school that was supposed to basically guarantee biglaw and got a bunch of callbacks, but nothing materialized (made some mistakes and went to law school during the nadir of the financial crisis). It was awful to listen to people hem and haw about which $160K offer they should accept and later what prestigious clerkship they should accept while I was trying to find anything at all. Didn't get anything until January of 3L, and it paid a lot less than $160K, but I'm happy it worked out how it did. It sucks, but there's still time to get something if you don't get too much in your own way. (I agree with other commenters that it likely won't be biglaw - even at much 'better' schools, 3L biglaw hiring is virtually nonexistent.)


Didn't get a job until the week before 3L spring finals. The waiting sucked, but it was worth it. I echo mjb's sentiments. Missing OCI isn't the end of the world. To some people, it turns out to be a better outcome.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby Jchance » Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:44 am

Civilservant wrote:Jealousy and envy are strong emotions. . . . You choose your own adventure. Live your truth.


Agreed. Jealousy and envy have a lot of energy that come with it. Learn how to channel them toward getting what you want and not drowning in self-pity or others' sympathy.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby kalvano » Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:54 am

rpupkin wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:I did all this stuff that I thought would get me biglaw: good grades, law review, extra curricular activities. I was hoping to be able to change the fortunes of my family and move into a higher income bracket. It didn't happen. Maybe I was too asp-y, maybe I interviewed for shit, maybe I was too old and they wanted someone younger.

. . . or maybe you decided to attend a law school that doesn't place well in big law. I'm not saying this to be mean. Own your choices. You decided to attend SMU, where you knew (or should have known) that the likely outcome was some non-big-law job. Well, now the likely outcome has materialized, so make the most of it.



In all fairness, if the OP got good grades (top 10%-15%) and is on law review, he or she should have a pretty good shot at Biglaw in Dallas from SMU, so it sounds like bad luck and poor interview skills. If so, interview skills can be learned.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby dixiecupdrinking » Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:59 am

rpupkin wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:I did all this stuff that I thought would get me biglaw: good grades, law review, extra curricular activities. I was hoping to be able to change the fortunes of my family and move into a higher income bracket. It didn't happen. Maybe I was too asp-y, maybe I interviewed for shit, maybe I was too old and they wanted someone younger.

. . . or maybe you decided to attend a law school that doesn't place well in big law. I'm not saying this to be mean. Own your choices. You decided to attend SMU, where you knew (or should have known) that the likely outcome was some non-big-law job. Well, now the likely outcome has materialized, so make the most of it.

Many in big law are miserable. Some of the happiest lawyers I know skipped big law and went straight into a smaller local firm or into government. Focus on those opportunities.

Agreed. Stop focusing on the $180k job, which was always unlikely for you at SMU, is only a temporary landing place for most, and sucks anyway. Quit worrying about what other people did or didn't do to get biglaw, it's a crapshoot and you're in the same boat as probably 85% of your class. Think about a realistic plan for what you want to do and figure out how to make it happen. I get the disappointment, but it's almost April and OCI ended six months ago. Time to move on.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby FascinatedWanderer » Wed Mar 29, 2017 9:13 am

dbalkaran wrote:You can start at a smaller firm and work up from there. Now is the time to work even harder if you want to accomplish your goals.


It's extremely unlikely that someone can make the jump from a small law firm to big law. That's just not how it works.

Just keep in mind that biglaw isn't some fantasy land where everyone is happy and prestigious. Most people who enjoy their jobs in law are not big firm lawyers.

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Re: Does Anyone Know How to Get Over Law School Butt Hurt?

Postby AVBucks4239 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 9:17 am

Missing out on big law is the best thing that ever happened to you.



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