Need Honest Advice Regarding Current Employment - Help Forum

[Anonymous User]

Alright, so here it goes.

I graduated from a decent school, not top tier, but well respected and the 'big fish' in the surrounding 'pond' of employment. Upon graduation, with a 3.5 GPA, I got an offer from a law firm that has anywhere from 240-360 attorneys with multiple locations. However, I had to move outside of my law school 'pond' to the firm's headquarters in a particular city in a particular state. I am currently in this new state, which is consistently ranked in the bottom (out of 50) for employment, economic health, happiness, etc... You name it, this state is in the bottom five in almost all categories; I can see why.

I have lived in this area since the summer, where I studied and took the Bar. I passed the bar, and have now been practicing since September. I am happy that I practice a particular niche area of law, and I am learning quickly.

As you may have figured out by now, I sacrificed everything for this job, and I am absolutely miserable living where I live now. I don't want to risk telling my firm this, because, well, everyone in the firm (except me and maybe three or four others), are "lifers" from this state/area. The firm has multiple locations, but all of the work for my particular field is currently occurring in this particular state. To make matters worse, the state wasn't UBE when I took the Bar, so I would have to retake the Bar exam to get out of said location.

I spoke, very very discretely, to my 'mentor' at my firm, and he/she told me that in approximately two years I should start getting calls from headhunters. This should be even more likely, my mentor said, because the area of law I practice is incredibly nuanced, the firm is well known for practicing this area of law, and the firm is one of the larger, if not the largest, firms in the region.

So, my question: what do I do? I feel a deep sense of loyalty to this firm because, let's be honest, the job market sucks, and I got out of law school practicing the area of law that I wanted to practice. I owe that to them. Be that as it may, I genuinely am incredibly lonely in this new place, and I most certainly can't bring myself to look at purchasing a home here. I feel my mental health is slipping. Seriously.

Should I hold out hope I'll get a call from some mystical headhunter in a couple years? Should I tell my boss my concerns in my review coming up in a couple weeks? Should I just keep my head down and try to get over it? How long do I let life feel like its slipping by while I 'play the long game?'

As an aside, I am very well aware that this post could come off as whiny; that's not my intention. And trust me, if you lived where I lived, in my current situation, you'd be saying even worse.

All advice is appreciated. Please advise. Thank you for reading.

[misterjames]

i guess my first question would be, what steps have you taken thus far to make your living situation more enjoyable? are you attempting to meet people? pick up new hobbies or advance old ones? moving to a totally new place can suck but if you've made no effort to help yourself, I'd say start there. if you've already tried these things and are still miserable, start planning an exit.

[Anonymous User]

I have tried my hardest. It is not a 'go out and get a hobby' thing. It is the fact that the area/location/city I live in is legitimately at the bottom five of all states across the board in terms of rankings. The economy here sucks, people are hooked on drugs, crime rate is high. The city is literally decaying in all aspects.

[champ33]

Do you know where you want to relocate? Back to your law school's city? Does that state accept MBE transfer from the state you took the bar? If so, I would take the bar exam in your desired state. With a high enough transferred MBE score, you can literally study for 2 days and pass. I think passing the bar in your desired state or at least being able to say you're awaiting results will make firms there more likely to interview you. Sorry this probably applies less if you have to re-take the MBE. Overall I'd say job v. family/friends/surroundings can be balanced to an extent, but it's an individual assessment, and if your mental health is at stake I'd start making moves to get back where you want to be, whether that means risking asking your firm to transfer you to a different office or just applying to jobs elsewhere.

[Slickrick90]

I went through/and am going through a similar issue. Op, please PM me if you want to chat.

[Anonymous User]

I'd like to relocate back to my law school's city. To be honest, I'd be open to relocating just about anywhere compared to where I am now. As I mentioned, the firm has locations in other cities/states. Unfortunately, the MBE score won't transfer. Good thing I saved my Barbri books right?

[jchiles]

So what do people at your firm do/where do they live? I get that your city sucks by various empirical metrics but presumably there are ok neighborhoods/organizations/churches (idk if thats relevant to you) somewhere within a commutable distance to your firm.

I sympathize with wanting to live in a different place but it sounds like you have a good opportunity at your current firm and i think the holidays can either emphasize how happy you are with where you or at or maybe in your case amplify the negatives of your situation. So maybe keep looking at jobs in your desired city but don't do anything too impulsively.

[BigZuck]

How old are you?

Harping on the rankings of the city/state you're currently living in kind of strikes me as odd. I don't want to downplay your mental health issues and if you're having them then I think you need to do something to better your situation/seek help. But I'm also wondering if this is a classic "Suck it up, Buttercup" situation. Might just be homesickness/general midlife crisis malaise that you just need to push through/deal with. "Grass is always greener," etc.

ETA: "quarter life crisis"

[Anonymous User]

Id like to give you some advice. I graduated 4-6 years ago and I was put into a similar situation. I only received one offer at a sizeable law firm in corporate law in a city that like ur city (perhaps the same city ) is generally considered an extremely undesirable city. Fast forward 4-5 years later, I am still in a city that isn't my cup of tea. The most frustrating part was that I knew where I wanted to live, but I just couldn't get there with the job that I wanted. I wasn't able to get my perfect combination.

Along the way, I kept on moving for what was best for my "career." The firm I was initially at also had major turnover issues in my group. I was so desperate to leave that I went to another firm, in another place that I didn't really want to live in. Then after that move, I had a chance to move to my number 1 city that I desired but the firm/company was known for being unstable. I was unable to get any other offers in that area. So instead of moving to the city that I like, I choose the location that was best for my career. I switched practice groups into a field that is extremely in demand thinking that after couple years there I could move to my dream destination, however, the only way I was able to do that was by going to another city that I didn't enjoy living in. Fast forward half a decade later, and after wasting what was left of my 20s, I am still on my journey to the 3-4 destinations that I want to live in (West Coast).

Your mentor is right that after 2 years, you will get recruiter calls. With that said, depending on how in demand your field is, your current firm, law school and law school grades will all play a factor in determining what kind of job you can get and where you can get it. This means that it may be a lot more difficult to go from say Memphis biglaw to LA biglaw without the right pedigree both work wise and school wise.

What I would do if I were you is to put all your effort into your work and to try to learn as much as possible along with possibly networking with people and firms in the area you want to live in. I would also look to writing articles related to your practice area. Getting your name out there by publishing articles will make it easier to get your next job. There will be days where you get extremely depressed living somewhere that you hate. It has happened to me a couple of times. I usually workout to get some of the anger and frustration out. Also having a calendar and counting down the months left until you hit a certain time period will make you feel a lot better.

With that said, it is important to keep your dissatisfaction to yourself. This is extremely important as the people are all lifers in your city. When shooting the shit, it is important not to give off the vibe that you may want to leave or don't like the area. Just play along and talk like you love the area. This is due to the fact that if they think you wouldn't be around, they are less willing to put effort training you and hence you learn less and may not get the best projects. Furthermore, they may also subconsciously not like you due to the fact that even if the area is crappy, people still choose to live there and it probably has some redeeming qualities. Lastly, if there is ever another economic crisis, you are at higher risk of getting fired due to the fact that you don't look like you will stick around. If you need to blow steam, go to the gym and workout, bitch to a friend or bitch on an anonymous forum like TLS .

I would also look to take the bar in the location that you want to live in. It all depends your motivation level. Just from experience, it is difficult putting in 10-12 hr days and then go home to study for the bar. However, sometimes that is the only way you can reach your goals.

Lastly, most of the time, life isn't perfect. You aren't going to get your perfect job in your perfect location. Short of having perfect grades and work experience, it is likely that you will have to sacrifice something along the way. While it is important to plan for the future, it is also important to keep in mind that you are only young once.

[Anonymous User]

How old are you?

Harping on the rankings of the city/state you're currently living in kind of strikes me as odd. I don't want to downplay your mental health issues and if you're having them then I think you need to do something to better your situation/seek help. But I'm also wondering if this is a classic "Suck it up, Buttercup" situation. Might just be homesickness/general midlife crisis malaise that you just need to push through/deal with. "Grass is always greener," etc.

ETA: "quarter life crisis"

This may also be due to a race/culture issue. If the Op is Hispanic or Asian or AA and the firm is 100% white or the city doesn't have any minorities, this may be a reason as well.

Op: is race/culture an issue?

[Anonymous User]

I am in my mid to late twenties. I understand the awkwardness of harping on the rankings. I only do so to properly convey my genuine distaste for where I live while not giving away too much about where I am. It's a delicate balance.

I understand also that holidays may make me more emotional regarding the situation I am in. While that may play a role, I have felt this way since September.

To the post regarding my status, yes, it is on the level of "Memphis Big Law." And yes, the pay is decent (not six figures) and the work is the best part of being here.

As far as "suck it up Buttercup," I understand that line of thinking as well. At the end of the day, I am grateful to be employed. But my outright despair is genuine, which is why I solicited advice on this forum.

[Anonymous User]

Race is not an issue, but culture certainly is. It is a one hundred percent different way of life where I am. More importantly, I am an associate in a firm that is incredibly top heavy with partners. There's no one to be around outside of work. Everyone is married and has a family. It just leaves me. Frankly, I recently became aware that this firm has had trouble keeping associates. I can see why. It's not the firm. It's the location and the culture.

[Anonymous User]

Race is not an issue, but culture certainly is. It is a one hundred percent different way of life where I am. More importantly, I am an associate in a firm that is incredibly top heavy with partners. There's no one to be around outside of work. Everyone is married and has a family. It just leaves me. Frankly, I recently became aware that this firm has had trouble keeping associates. I can see why. It's not the firm. It's the location and the culture.

FYI I wrote the long "advice piece" above. I was in the same exact situation as you. Perhaps even at the same firm ;P. Again, it is extremely important not to let anyone know or give off the vibe that you aren't "in it for the long run." This may cause trouble at your firm.

[Anonymous User]

I greatly appreciated the long thread. Thank you for that

[1styearlateral]

Ok my guess is Detriot.

[acr]

Ok my guess is Detriot.

Maybe but market in Detroit is > $100K. OP said he's making less than six figs. Also eliminates St. Louis.

[Anonymous User]

Ok my guess is Detriot.

Maybe but market in Detroit is > $100K. OP said he's making less than six figs. Also eliminates St. Louis.

That isn't true. Some firms in Detroit start below 100k. Last I checked, Miller Canfield starts at 90 or 95k.

[Anonymous User]

Alright, so from what I gather, I should keep my distaste for my situation to myself and not tell my bosses. In the meantime, I should begin to study for the bar on my own after work.

I was also looking at waiving in to D.C., because it only costs 500 dollars.

[tyroneslothrop1]

get on dating apps; they're great

[jchiles]

Alright, so from what I gather, I should keep my distaste for my situation to myself and not tell my bosses. In the meantime, I should begin to study for the bar on my own after work.

I was also looking at waiving in to D.C., because it only costs 500 dollars.

Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way but shouldn't your move be to focus first on lining up interviews or contacts in the city you want to be in before sinking time into bar prep?

[trebekismyhero]

Ok my guess is Detriot.

Maybe but market in Detroit is > $100K. OP said he's making less than six figs. Also eliminates St. Louis.

That isn't true. Some firms in Detroit start below 100k. Last I checked, Miller Canfield starts at 90 or 95k.

OP said bottom 5 states not just locales, which is usually along the lines of Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas and that would explain the culture issues if he/she isn't a southerner.

OP, as others have said, keep your unhappiness to yourself. I would not go out looking at taking the bar in other states right now (maybe waving into DC is fine). Most firms will hire you and let you sit for the bar as a lateral so won't make a huge difference right now. Try to make your city more enjoyable and learn a lot so that you can be marketable in the future. Also, network, email and keep in contact with ppl in your desired market so that you can make that move at some point in the next couple years.

[Anonymous User]

Ok my guess is Detriot.

Maybe but market in Detroit is > $100K. OP said he's making less than six figs. Also eliminates St. Louis.

That isn't true. Some firms in Detroit start below 100k. Last I checked, Miller Canfield starts at 90 or 95k.

OP said bottom 5 states not just locales, which is usually along the lines of Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas and that would explain the culture issues if he/she isn't a southerner.

OP, as others have said, keep your unhappiness to yourself. I would not go out looking at taking the bar in other states right now (maybe waving into DC is fine). Most firms will hire you and let you sit for the bar as a lateral so won't make a huge difference right now. Try to make your city more enjoyable and learn a lot so that you can be marketable in the future. Also, network, email and keep in contact with ppl in your desired market so that you can make that move at some point in the next couple years.

I disagree about not taking the bar. It is much easier getting a job in a new locale when you have the bar vs needing to take time off work to study and take the bar at your new employer. At the very least, it is a distraction at your new job. Furthermore, you only get one chance to make first impressions. You want to be able to go at it really hard in the beginning and not be distracted by taking a bar exam. It also puts a lot more pressure on you to take the bar when you need it to keep your job vs taking it for a job in the future.

[trebekismyhero]

Ok my guess is Detriot.

Maybe but market in Detroit is > $100K. OP said he's making less than six figs. Also eliminates St. Louis.

That isn't true. Some firms in Detroit start below 100k. Last I checked, Miller Canfield starts at 90 or 95k.

OP said bottom 5 states not just locales, which is usually along the lines of Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas and that would explain the culture issues if he/she isn't a southerner.

OP, as others have said, keep your unhappiness to yourself. I would not go out looking at taking the bar in other states right now (maybe waving into DC is fine). Most firms will hire you and let you sit for the bar as a lateral so won't make a huge difference right now. Try to make your city more enjoyable and learn a lot so that you can be marketable in the future. Also, network, email and keep in contact with ppl in your desired market so that you can make that move at some point in the next couple years.

I disagree about not taking the bar. It is much easier getting a job in a new locale when you have the bar vs needing to take time off work to study and take the bar at your new employer. At the very least, it is a distraction at your new job. Furthermore, you only get one chance to make first impressions. You want to be able to go at it really hard in the beginning and not be distracted by taking a bar exam. It also puts a lot more pressure on you to take the bar when you need it to keep your job vs taking it for a job in the future.

Yes, but taking the bar right now would distract them from the job they have.

[Anonymous User]

OP said bottom 5 states not just locales, which is usually along the lines of Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas and that would explain the culture issues if he/she isn't a southerner.

Bingo.

-OP

[IPlawyer]

I assume you're in the South somewhere. I'm from here and work here now. Doubt we are in the same city, but feel free to PM me if you want. If we are in the same city (doubt it) I'd be down to hang out sometime so that you aren't so miserable. I'm also just down to chat about living in the South (if that's where you are...)


EDIT: Just now reading the latest posts, so looks like I was right about the South.