What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

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dixiecupdrinking

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby dixiecupdrinking » Thu Jul 28, 2016 4:49 pm

Your attitude is making it increasingly clear why people might be reluctant to help you.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby fxb3 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:07 pm

Anonymous User wrote:But is it too much to ask to ask an alum to forward my resume to their former colleagues, even if those colleagues are no longer with their original firms and have moved onto other legal employers?


That's a legitimate question, and a little different from what I took to be the thrust of your original post. If the alum who you're asking to forward a resume for you is someone who you met through an alumni network only, I really don't see this as a viable strategy. At least not if your connection to them is some email exchanges, a coffee date, or some other "small" interaction. If I understand you correctly, you'd be coming to me saying, "thanks for taking the time to talk about your practice at XYZ Corp. I know from our conversation you have friends who now work at ABC Firm. I'm interested in ABC Firm, would you mind sending my resume to people there?"

I would feel awkward being asked to do that. First, sending a resume implies an endorsement that I wouldn't feel comfortable giving if I didn't know you well. Second, sending another person's resume just doesn't happen that much (at least I haven't experienced it).

Far more common is the sort of "use my name" relationship. And the way that works just depends on the circumstances. If we met for coffee and I had great things to say about my former firm, I guess it wouldn't hurt for you to say, "that's great that you liked it. That firm is one that I'm really interested in, would you mind me mentioning that we've spoken if it comes up when I apply to them?" Then you go and apply to the firm on your own, do whatever you think is appropriate for applying, and drop my name at the appropriate time in interviews.

An affirmative reach-out, though, where I would call someone up for you and say "hey, this guy has some deficiencies on paper but really deserves a chance," is really different. I would need to know you far better than through the alumni network. You would have to have been, like, a super-star summer intern for me or something. The gulf between "feel free to say we've talked when you apply" and "I'm going to affirmatively reach out on your behalf" is a yawning chasm, and the latter is something that people really do not do that often.

TL;DR - While I'm happy to meet with fellow alums/students for coffee or conversation, I would feel awkward and highly imposed-upon if you then asked me to send your resume to friends of mine, either at other firms that I've never worked at or at my own former firm. If you asked me just for an introduction to others, I might be willing, but it really depends (e.g. the social capital stuff).

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby LeDique » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:20 pm

Anonymous User wrote:During the in-person meeting, we had talked about interview prep for ~15-20mins during which they gave me pointers on how to answer questions. It was only toward the end that I asked them for other alumni.

So when they said that they think my time is better spent practicing interview answers, that was in reference to/in recap of our earlier discussion...about practicing interview answers. It wasn't as if they had raised the suggestion for the first time only in response to my asking for other alumni.

Like "yea I know this meeting didn't mention or touch on interviewing at all, but based on the interaction we've just had (which btw has absolutely nothing to do with interviewing), I think you need to brush up on interviewing before I'd feel comfortable trusting you to send a 2 paragraph email to one of my former colleagues."


I cannot make sense of this. If I'm reading this correctly, OP spoke to this attorney about interviewing for 15-20 minutes. OP then asks "hey, can you intro me to other ppl?" and the attorney says "nah, work on interviewing." Now OP is saying that the meeting didn't discuss interviewing at all so that's an illogical reply to his request?

More to the point, if it is such an illogical excuse, doesn't that indicate that it's probably not true and there was a real reason it was impolite to say? Namely, that you come across desperate, entitled, and arrogant? I know if I agreed to meet with someone and that student turned out to be shitty, I would be evasive and come up with excuses not to introduce them to anyone. Not even "use my name" because I don't want your shit attached to my name.

And LOL that it turns out dude is trying to get his resume passed around. Slow reveal never changes

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby fxb3 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:42 pm

LeDique wrote:I know if I agreed to meet with someone and that student turned out to be shitty, I would be evasive and come up with excuses not to introduce them to anyone. Not even "use my name" because I don't want your shit attached to my name.


Totally agree with that, and I too am a little confused about OP's story. (Don't say I didn't try to help, though!)

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:47 pm

The gulf between "feel free to say we've talked when you apply" and "I'm going to affirmatively reach out on your behalf" is a yawning chasm, and the latter is something that people really do not do that often.

I figured as much. The alum involved in the OP did say something like "wrt my former firm, you can already say that you spoke to me about it." I forgot what either of us said next, but in the moment I was not thinking "well yea, but I'd like to say that I spoke to you, Peter, and Paul about it."

I was more envisioning/hoping that the alum in the OP would introduce me to a few of their former colleagues, who I'd then email and maybe call after that. After a while, I'd say something like "hey my discussion with you made me really interested in exploring a career with your firm; I've sent my resume to HR, and have attached it here for your convenience. Do you have any advice on what I should do for interview preparation?"

From there, the hope is that the alum would pull my resume from the black hole that is the HR Recruiter so that I'd get noticed, and hopefully get an interview instead of an automated rejection.

Obviously, that's the ideal, and it almost sounds like a pipe dream. I know very few attempts to reach out to alumni will play out like that. Low success rate etc. But if that campaign results in a few more interviews than I would've otherwise gotten, that's obviously better than sitting on my ass.

Now, vis-a-vis the alum in the OP, I am a summer intern at their organization. I had done some work for them already, so it wasn't hard to set up a career-related talk. According to feedback I've gotten, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that I've done superstar work for the organization as a whole, as well as for a few particular attorneys around the office, just not for the particular alum in the OP.

Another alum in the office commended the more substantial and time-intensive work I had done for them, and might've been willing to forward my application, but that alum said that the high attrition at the former firm and the amount of time since he last worked there meant that he no longer knew anyone who was still there. In fact, he started counting on his hand his close law friends and said that they're all out of the law almost entirely "one is off doing this, another is doing that, a third is scaling Everest, etc."

At least the way that other alum went about it made it seem like he genuinely wanted to help, but didn't know any decisionmakers.

Otherwise, I don't know too many other people for whom I've done quality work who are even in the position of vouching for my candidacy (as in, they were ex-associates/maybe even partners at the firms I'm considering applying to and as such may know decisionmakers), to say nothing of their willingness.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:54 pm

LeDique wrote:I cannot make sense of this. If I'm reading this correctly, OP spoke to this attorney about interviewing for 15-20 minutes. OP then asks "hey, can you intro me to other ppl?" and the attorney says "nah, work on interviewing." Now OP is saying that the meeting didn't discuss interviewing at all so that's an illogical reply to his request?
.

No, I was saying that the meeting did revolve around interview tips ("it's not like, it's not as if...") I brought that up because A.Nony.Mouse, dixiecup, and a few others were inferring from the alum's suggestion that I work on my interviewing the impression that the alum had been passively assessing my interview-readiness/self-presentation throughout the exchange, and so when they brought that up, they were pointing out that they had observed a deficiency in me.

So I brought that up to say that when the alum said "practice interviewing," the simplest explanation is that they meant "as we had discussed a few moments earlier, try out those interview pointers I just gave you, which were the primary reason why you set up this meeting." Not "practice interviewing because this exchange is proof enough that you suck at it, so badly that I don't even want you emailing any of my former colleagues."

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby AVBucks4239 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:58 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
The gulf between "feel free to say we've talked when you apply" and "I'm going to affirmatively reach out on your behalf" is a yawning chasm, and the latter is something that people really do not do that often.

I figured as much. The alum involved in the OP did say something like "wrt my former firm, you can already say that you spoke to me about it." I forgot what either of us said next, but in the moment I was not thinking "well yea, but I'd like to say that I spoke to you, Peter, and Paul about it."

I was more envisioning/hoping that the alum in the OP would introduce me to a few of their former colleagues, who I'd then email and maybe call after that. After a while, I'd say something like "hey my discussion with you made me really interested in exploring a career with your firm; I've sent my resume to HR, and have attached it here for your convenience. Do you have any advice on what I should do for interview preparation?"

From there, the hope is that the alum would pull my resume from the black hole that is the HR Recruiter so that I'd get noticed, and hopefully get an interview instead of an automated rejection.

Obviously, that's the ideal, and it almost sounds like a pipe dream. I know very few attempts to reach out to alumni will play out like that. Low success rate etc. But if that campaign results in a few more interviews than I would've otherwise gotten, that's obviously better than sitting on my ass.

Now, vis-a-vis the alum in the OP, I am a summer intern at their organization. I had done some work for them already, so it wasn't hard to set up a career-related talk. According to feedback I've gotten, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that I've done superstar work for the organization as a whole, as well as for a few particular attorneys around the office, just not for the particular alum in the OP.

Another alum in the office commended the more substantial and time-intensive work I had done for them, and might've been willing to forward my application, but that alum said that the high attrition at the former firm and the amount of time since he last worked there meant that he no longer knew anyone who was still there. In fact, he started counting on his hand his close law friends and said that they're all out of the law almost entirely "one is off doing this, another is doing that, a third is scaling Everest, etc."

At least the way that other alum went about it made it seem like he genuinely wanted to help, but didn't know any decisionmakers.

Otherwise, I don't know too many other people for whom I've done quality work who are even in the position of vouching for my candidacy (as in, they were ex-associates/maybe even partners at the firms I'm considering applying to and as such may know decisionmakers), to say nothing of their willingness.


Man OP. You're thinking way too hard about this.

To relate, I was a huge pussy in high school. I couldn't get a date if my dick depended on it.

Classic example is that I had this huge crush on an a cute girl named Ashley. I was always too scared to directly ask her on a date or to a dance. So thinking I was clever, I'd actually meet with Ashley's friends, drop some hints about Ashley, and hope maybe, just maybe, Ashley's friends would hook me up with her.

But the girls I would meet with caught onto my shtick pretty quick because I was so hopelessly awkward and because Ashley's friends knew she wouldn't want to date a guy like me giving off such desperate vibes.*

OP: you're high school me. You're trying way too hard, thinking way too much, and not paying attention to the signals being sent your way. If a law student met with me and asked me to pass his name along, I'd 100% do that if I liked them. The fact that this person didn't isn't a good sign for you no matter how you're slicing it.

And the fact that you seem to be swinging and missing during meetings with people from your alumni network already--which should be a layup--potentially says a lot about your lack of interview skills, personality, and ability to connect with someone in a first meeting--which is what people are trying to say (in so many words) in this thread.

FYI, based on my legal interview experience, when you meet with someone, talk about THEIR interests and THEIR practice and THEIR firm. Ask questions. Be personable. Try to intersect all that with your own interests.

Anecdotal story, but I once asked a partner if he was at the 1987 Ohio State v. LSU game (he went to LSU for undergrad and OSU for law, and was at OSU in 1987). 45 minutes of my "interview" turned into talking about college football. His firm hired me.

Another anecdotal story here, but during my 3L year I began to tease the idea of going out to San Francisco after graduating (thread here: viewtopic.php?f=23&t=218116&p=7156666&hilit=san+francisco#p7156666). Scroll to the second page of that post and you'll see how I had some pretty good success meeting up with Ohio State alums.

So my advice is to stop trying so hard and thinking that you're going to backdoor your way into getting what you want. Email attorneys directly, introduce yourself and create some sort of connection between you two (usually "hey you're a fellow alum and I'm interested in your practice area"), and be respectful of their time by letting them schedule the meeting (time, place, and medium) on their terms.

And Christ, if your posts in this thread are any indication of how you talk in person, you're terrible about communicating what's on your mind. And that's a problem when you're trying to network. Work on that.

*Eight years later and I'm happily engaged to a different girl from my high school. Go me!

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A. Nony Mouse

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:10 pm

FWIW, the fact that you had already been discussing interviewing with this alum doesn't change how I read the suggestion that you work on interviewing. It sounds to me as though that's where this person thinks you need to spend your time.

(I also had the same reading of how the conversation went that JazzOne had, based on how you originally described it.)

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:29 pm

If a law student met with me and asked me to pass his name along, I'd 100% do that if I liked them. The fact that this person didn't isn't a good sign for you no matter how you're slicing it.

And the fact that you seem to be swinging and missing during meetings with people from your alumni network already--which should be a layup--potentially says a lot about your lack of interview skills, personality, and ability to connect with someone in a first meeting--which is what people are trying to say (in so many words) in this thread.


Except 95% of the meeting (before the last minute where I tried asking for referrals to other alums) went well. No awkward pauses, convo flowed well, etc. I was there for a good hour too (lunch break, I'm an intern at the alum's employer for the summer).

And most of my other alum meetings also go well--e.g., the other one where the alum tried to remember someone who could help but recollected [i]aloud[/d] that they're all out of the law. That meeting too went for an hour+.

Likewise for some other alumni meetings. If I was giving off high-school-you vibes, wouldn't I have been shown the door much earlier than that? And yes, I know how to take a hint that it's time to leave.

But hey, I get what everyone's been trying to say here (in so many words). When something doesn't go as I would've liked, it has to--just has to--reflect poorly on me. Flawed execution, my personality sucks, etc.
And Christ, if your posts in this thread are any indication of how you talk in person, you're terrible about communicating what's on your mind. And that's a problem when you're trying to network
.
Sorry, you must've missed my earlier apology for forgetting to bring my in-person, suit & tie demeanor into "top-law-schools.com/forum/anon_posting.php," where we strictly adhere to the Roberts Rules of Order.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby LeDique » Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:35 pm

this is amazing

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:36 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:FWIW, the fact that you had already been discussing interviewing with this alum doesn't change how I read the suggestion that you work on interviewing. It sounds to me as though that's where this person thinks you need to spend your time.

(I also had the same reading of how the conversation went that JazzOne had, based on how you originally described it.)

I'm not saying I don't need help interviewing. Heck, the reason the discussion was about interviewing was because I had gone to the alum explicitly asking for interviewing advice.

It's just that, from there, I don't see how you & Jazz can be so sure that "sorry, the few ex-colleagues I do know are all very busy billing" was actually code for "your weak interviewing/self-presentation skills that you've displayed over the last hour or so makes me feel uncomfortable sending you off to my former colleagues--I can't trust you to hold your shit together."

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby AVBucks4239 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:39 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
If a law student met with me and asked me to pass his name along, I'd 100% do that if I liked them. The fact that this person didn't isn't a good sign for you no matter how you're slicing it.

And the fact that you seem to be swinging and missing during meetings with people from your alumni network already--which should be a layup--potentially says a lot about your lack of interview skills, personality, and ability to connect with someone in a first meeting--which is what people are trying to say (in so many words) in this thread.


Except 95% of the meeting (before the last minute where I tried asking for referrals to other alums) went well. No awkward pauses, convo flowed well, etc. I was there for a good hour too (lunch break, I'm an intern at the alum's employer for the summer).

And most of my other alum meetings also go well--e.g., the other one where the alum tried to remember someone who could help but recollected [i]aloud[/d] that they're all out of the law. That meeting too went for an hour+.

Likewise for some other alumni meetings. If I was giving off high-school-you vibes, wouldn't I have been shown the door much earlier than that? And yes, I know how to take a hint that it's time to leave.

But hey, I get what everyone's been trying to say here (in so many words). When something doesn't go as I would've liked, it has to--just has to--reflect poorly on me. Flawed execution, my personality sucks, etc.
And Christ, if your posts in this thread are any indication of how you talk in person, you're terrible about communicating what's on your mind. And that's a problem when you're trying to network
.
Sorry, you must've missed my earlier apology for forgetting to bring my in-person, suit & tie demeanor into "top-law-schools.com/forum/anon_posting.php," where we strictly adhere to the Roberts Rules of Order.


None of your posts make any sense. Quit trying so hard.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:54 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:FWIW, the fact that you had already been discussing interviewing with this alum doesn't change how I read the suggestion that you work on interviewing. It sounds to me as though that's where this person thinks you need to spend your time.

(I also had the same reading of how the conversation went that JazzOne had, based on how you originally described it.)

I'm not saying I don't need help interviewing. Heck, the reason the discussion was about interviewing was because I had gone to the alum explicitly asking for interviewing advice.

It's just that, from there, I don't see how you & Jazz can be so sure that "sorry, the few ex-colleagues I do know are all very busy billing" was actually code for "your weak interviewing/self-presentation skills that you've displayed over the last hour or so makes me feel uncomfortable sending you off to my former colleagues--I can't trust you to hold your shit together."

I don't know why the alum answered the way he did. I do tend to think that "my ex-colleagues are very busy billing" is a way not to refer you to people rather than a sincere expression that it wouldn't help, and he did say directly you should work on interviewing instead. Like I said, none of us were there, so we don't know.

Also, your first description of how the conversation went, the one that JazzOne highlighted, did give a very clear impression that you had been fairly persistent with this person and had had some sustained back and forth about the issue, which came across as kind of inappropriate. Now you're backing off that description, which is fine (although the original is consistent with the email draft you proposed), but people here can only go off how you present yourself here, and even if that's not how the conversation actually went, it seems to be how you think about it. Basically there seems to be a lot of overthinking and perseverating going on, which I think would come across in person. (This doesn't have anything to do with manners or formality and of course people present themselves differently here than in real life. It's the content of what you're saying that people are responding to.)

I also think the advice about asking if you can name drop is really good advice (not calling it that of course).

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby LeDique » Thu Jul 28, 2016 7:12 pm

point of order but i do not believe the chair recognized a motion to amend something previously adopted.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby kalvano » Thu Jul 28, 2016 10:56 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
If a law student met with me and asked me to pass his name along, I'd 100% do that if I liked them. The fact that this person didn't isn't a good sign for you no matter how you're slicing it.

And the fact that you seem to be swinging and missing during meetings with people from your alumni network already--which should be a layup--potentially says a lot about your lack of interview skills, personality, and ability to connect with someone in a first meeting--which is what people are trying to say (in so many words) in this thread.


Except 95% of the meeting (before the last minute where I tried asking for referrals to other alums) went well. No awkward pauses, convo flowed well, etc. I was there for a good hour too (lunch break, I'm an intern at the alum's employer for the summer).

And most of my other alum meetings also go well--e.g., the other one where the alum tried to remember someone who could help but recollected [i]aloud[/d] that they're all out of the law. That meeting too went for an hour+.

Likewise for some other alumni meetings. If I was giving off high-school-you vibes, wouldn't I have been shown the door much earlier than that? And yes, I know how to take a hint that it's time to leave.

But hey, I get what everyone's been trying to say here (in so many words). When something doesn't go as I would've liked, it has to--just has to--reflect poorly on me. Flawed execution, my personality sucks, etc.
And Christ, if your posts in this thread are any indication of how you talk in person, you're terrible about communicating what's on your mind. And that's a problem when you're trying to network
.
Sorry, you must've missed my earlier apology for forgetting to bring my in-person, suit & tie demeanor into "top-law-schools.com/forum/anon_posting.php," where we strictly adhere to the Roberts Rules of Order.


Just because the meeting may have gone well doesn't mean that person is comfortable recommending you. I can think of plenty of people that I enjoy having a conversation with that I would never recommend for a job. You seem really confused about this - when and if I recommend someone for a job, or in any way attach my name to that person with even a hint of recommendation in a professional setting, I am 110% sure I'm comfortable doing so. If there is even the slightest doubt, I'm not doing it. The person may be a joy, but my professional reputation is vastly more important to me, and a huge part of being an attorney is people trusting your judgement.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby El Pollito » Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:31 am

i always take the call if someone contacts me

e: unless op

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:57 am

Just because the meeting may have gone well doesn't mean that person is comfortable recommending you.


OK I get that, but that's not the same commentary as:
If a law student met with me and asked me to pass his name along, I'd 100% do that if I liked them. The fact that this person didn't isn't a good sign for you no matter how you're slicing it.


A. Nony Mouse wrote:This doesn't have anything to do with manners or formality and of course people present themselves differently here than in real life. It's the content of what you're saying that people are responding to.)


I'm saying the "content" of what gets said also varies in life.
AVBucks4239 wrote:None of your posts make any sense. Quit trying so hard.

OK you got it. Whatever you say boss.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby LeDique » Fri Jul 29, 2016 12:16 pm

Why don't you just get these people's contact info from their firm pages and *say* that alum said to reach out to them? You seem p sure he'd be okay recommending you, what's the issue?

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:17 pm

OP, I mean this with the utmost respect for your position, but there are two things here that you're going to have to stop doing if you want these attys to do what you want them to do:

1) You're going to have to listen to them, and treat their advice as gospel, regardless of whether or not you think it's good or bad advice. "Oh interesting; I hadn't considered that. Thank you!" And end it there. No "Are you sure? Because so-and-so did it and they got really far"/"Yeah I hear you, but I still want to do this"/follow-up emails saying "Yeah I did that, but I still wanna do this thing you told me not to focus on, so please still help me with that." If his advice was garbage, discard and try again with someone else who gets you where you need to go.

2) You're going to have to check your ego at the gate. You're not unique in this regard; many people have had to do the same as law students (we tend to be a very egotistical bunch, on average). If you're spending as much time defending yourself in conversations with alum, as you are here, it's going to come off really off-putting. You went from "Please give me advice" to "How dare you say that about me" in the span of just a few posts because people made assumptions that were different than the ones you made (and that were vaguely unflattering); you need to be able to take what people say and just absorb it with a smile, because that attitude won't fly if you get a job at one of these firms and a partner lays into you for something that's not actually your fault/that he's mistaken about/etc. It also won't fly if you're in an interview with an associate and you're saying stuff like "Well I don't think that's true/that doesn't make sense" when she's trying to give you advice about the next few interviews/when she makes a comment about your resume. Smile, listen, and thank you. Ignore the comments that lead you down a rabbit hole of defensiveness, or find better ways of responding to them. Maybe this is what the alum meant by "interview skills."

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby JenDarby » Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:25 pm

I'd now like to co opt this thread and ask what are the easiest ways for me to get involved in these types of things. I'd like to wield power over assisting law students but am too busy to figure out where to start

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 29, 2016 9:43 pm

JenDarby wrote:I'd now like to co opt this thread and ask what are the easiest ways for me to get involved in these types of things. I'd like to wield power over assisting law students but am too busy to figure out where to start


You can probably start by contacting your school's career center or alum network; usually at least one of them is more than happy to put students in front of you, in the hopes they can boost the school's employment numbers.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby loh » Sat Jul 30, 2016 12:49 am

This thread is hard to follow or extract any useful tips.

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Jul 30, 2016 10:23 am

loh wrote:This thread is hard to follow or extract any useful tips.


Thank you for your useful tip.

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JazzOne

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby JazzOne » Sat Jul 30, 2016 11:29 am

El Pollito wrote:i always take the call if someone contacts me

e: unless op

lol +1

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JazzOne

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Re: What good are alumni networks if they're all too busy to respond?

Postby JazzOne » Sat Jul 30, 2016 11:33 am

Anonymous User wrote:Yes, because forgetting your manners at the door = coming off as totally nice and sincere. I was responding to the line of thought of "if you're this way with us, anon randos on TLS, then you must be way worse in person." As if there's no such thing as tailoring my demeanor to the setting, such that I behave exactly the same on this venerable forum that allows for anon_posting.php as I do at black-tie cotillons.

I'm guessing that people IRL can see right through your tailored demeanor. Perhaps you should strive to be nice and sincere with everyone, not just those with pull at a firm.



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