Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

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BizBro

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby BizBro » Mon Aug 01, 2016 1:43 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:
BNA wrote:
Mr. Fancy wrote:
BNA wrote:You use Mr./Ms. until a superior tells you otherwise. Hands down. Period. There are formal rules of etiquette and this one is cut and dry.

This is awful advice


Fucking millennials...

I'm absolutely not a millenial and I think it's awful advice, too. Nothing makes you look more like a little kid than using Mr./Ms. in the wrong context.


Damn Anony, are you a boomer?

Jk but yes BNA is providing awful advice.

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rpupkin

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby rpupkin » Mon Aug 01, 2016 2:24 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:
BNA wrote:
Mr. Fancy wrote:
BNA wrote:You use Mr./Ms. until a superior tells you otherwise. Hands down. Period. There are formal rules of etiquette and this one is cut and dry.

This is awful advice


Fucking millennials...

I'm absolutely not a millenial and I think it's awful advice, too. Nothing makes you look more like a little kid than using Mr./Ms. in the wrong context.

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Aug 01, 2016 2:40 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:
BNA wrote:
Mr. Fancy wrote:
BNA wrote:You use Mr./Ms. until a superior tells you otherwise. Hands down. Period. There are formal rules of etiquette and this one is cut and dry.

This is awful advice


Fucking millennials...

I'm absolutely not a millenial and I think it's awful advice, too. Nothing makes you look more like a little kid than using Mr./Ms. in the wrong context.


Yep, this. You have to feel the situation out yourself and make the call

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A. Nony Mouse

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:06 pm

BizBro wrote:Damn Anony, are you a boomer?

Jk but yes BNA is providing awful advice.

HOW DARE YOU

(we gen-Xers were getting screwed by the boomers before it was cool)

BNA

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby BNA » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:22 pm

BizBro wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:
BNA wrote:
Mr. Fancy wrote:
BNA wrote:You use Mr./Ms. until a superior tells you otherwise. Hands down. Period. There are formal rules of etiquette and this one is cut and dry.

This is awful advice


Fucking millennials...

I'm absolutely not a millenial and I think it's awful advice, too. Nothing makes you look more like a little kid than using Mr./Ms. in the wrong context.


Damn Anony, are you a boomer?

Jk but yes BNA is providing awful advice.


So I understand, you're saying that if someone calls me by my first name I'm entitled to use theirs? That would be inappropriate in so many situations. Maybe it's because I'm a product of the south, military, and a strict/formal family. Better to be respectful to people who make decisions based on their judgment of you.

hlsperson1111

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby hlsperson1111 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:44 pm

BNA wrote:
BizBro wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:
BNA wrote:
Mr. Fancy wrote:
BNA wrote:You use Mr./Ms. until a superior tells you otherwise. Hands down. Period. There are formal rules of etiquette and this one is cut and dry.

This is awful advice


Fucking millennials...

I'm absolutely not a millenial and I think it's awful advice, too. Nothing makes you look more like a little kid than using Mr./Ms. in the wrong context.


Damn Anony, are you a boomer?

Jk but yes BNA is providing awful advice.


So I understand, you're saying that if someone calls me by my first name I'm entitled to use theirs? That would be inappropriate in so many situations. Maybe it's because I'm a product of the south, military, and a strict/formal family. Better to be respectful to people who make decisions based on their judgment of you.


I would negatively judge a job applicant who addressed me as "Mr." It demonstrates a lack of awareness and signals that the candidate would be a poor fit in my office.

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rpupkin

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby rpupkin » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:58 pm

BNA wrote:So I understand, you're saying that if someone calls me by my first name I'm entitled to use theirs?

Not necessarily. But in the situations we're discussing in this thread? Yeah.

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby iliketurtles123 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:04 pm

If you're calling a recruiter as Mr./Ms. that means you should at least call the partners Mr./Ms.

Then how do you know who's a partner or not? What about older associates? Do you want to call some associates who are younger than you as their first name, then some associates as Mr./Ms.?

I always had a problem with that. Didn't know who to call Mr./Ms. and who to call as first name basis

Anecdote: I said to a partner "Very nice to meet you Mr. X." He straight up said "dude I'm less than 10 years older than you. Probably less than 5. Don't call me that".

I stopped calling people Mr./Ms. after that. Well, there are situations where I do call them Mr./Ms. if there's a huge age gap and it's a white shoe firm but generally I use first name.

Hikikomorist

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby Hikikomorist » Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:45 pm

I honestly expected more of a consensus on this. :(

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rpupkin

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby rpupkin » Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:53 pm

Hikikomorist wrote:I honestly expected more of a consensus on this. :(

Huh? You're getting about as close to a consensus as you'll find on the Internet.

runinthefront

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby runinthefront » Mon Aug 01, 2016 8:01 pm

How did this thread turn into two pages? The answer has already been given: if you're emailing a recruiter, use Ms./Mrs./Mr. the first time, and then use their first name in subsequent emails.

If you're talking to another associate/partner at a job interview or in practice, I can't think of a single occasion where you should be calling them by anything but their first name/preferred nickname.
Last edited by runinthefront on Sat Jan 27, 2018 12:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

runinthefront

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby runinthefront » Mon Aug 01, 2016 8:02 pm

rpupkin wrote:
BNA wrote:So I understand, you're saying that if someone calls me by my first name I'm entitled to use theirs?

Not necessarily. But in the situations we're discussing in this thread? Yeah.
Last edited by runinthefront on Sat Jan 27, 2018 12:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

dixiecupdrinking

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby dixiecupdrinking » Mon Aug 01, 2016 8:21 pm

rpupkin wrote:
BNA wrote:So I understand, you're saying that if someone calls me by my first name I'm entitled to use theirs?

Not necessarily. But in the situations we're discussing in this thread? Yeah.

I do wonder if there may be some room for regional variation, but yeah, at least outside the south, it actually comes off kind of creepy to insist on calling someone Mr./Ms.

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rpupkin

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby rpupkin » Mon Aug 01, 2016 8:28 pm

dixiecupdrinking wrote:
rpupkin wrote:
BNA wrote:So I understand, you're saying that if someone calls me by my first name I'm entitled to use theirs?

Not necessarily. But in the situations we're discussing in this thread? Yeah.

I do wonder if there may be some room for regional variation, but yeah, at least outside the south, it actually comes off kind of creepy to insist on calling someone Mr./Ms.

Like all etiquette questions, the proper approach depends on context. If I'm interviewing with a 65-year old partner at a Georgia law firm, I'm going address them as "Mr./Ms. X" until explicitly told otherwise. You have to use your common sense.

smallfirmassociate

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby smallfirmassociate » Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:05 pm

As an SA, you're basically a supplicant. I'd err on the side of sounding juvenile versus too familiar.

At a firm where I summered, there was a partner with a very informal nickname. Think like "Buffy" or "Slick." I addressed this person as Mr. or Ms. for the first few weeks of my summer until he or she specifically said to use a first name. This person was also 35 years older than me. I simply wouldn't have felt comfortable on day one with the level of familiarity that the nickname carried.

I agree with the posts that it is context-dependent, but just throwing out the type of situation where I think the more formal address might be appropriate.

In an email with a non-attorney office worker, I recommend first name barring some special circumstance.

gaddockteeg

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby gaddockteeg » Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:11 pm

rpupkin wrote:
Desert Fox wrote:Did you all miss the part where the recruiter used the students first name and signed with her first name. The objectively right answer is first name.

Yep. Folks think that "it's never wrong to err on the side of formality," but that's not true. If someone is addressing you by your first name and signing with their first name, and if you keep addressing them as "Mr./Ms.," you're going to seem weird.


Echoing this. However the person signs off is how that person wants to be addressed going forward.

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Re: Address Recruiter By First Name? Email Etiquette

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:26 pm

Tangent time: a fellow SA insisted on calling me "Ms. ___" FOR TEN WEEKS, no matter how many times I said to call me by my first name. I found it really strange, especially because I was 1) younger than him and 2) his office equal in every which way.

I was raised with very strict guidelines on how to address adults (ie, Mr. and Mrs.), but I largely let those rules fall by the wayside once I became an adult myself. I'll address a potential employer with formal titles initially because I do think it seems more polite but once s/he calls me by my first name/signs off with a clear nickname, that's what I go with.



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