Lateraling to a firm where your S/O works Forum

[Anonymous User]

Hello TLS,

I am in a dilemma here and would like your input. My significant other told me his firm is recruiting a business/transactional lawyer.

I would like to apply for this position, and told him. He replied would be at ease with the fact we may work in the same office although we would have to be wary of the dynamics involved at the office vs. our personal relationship.

However, I am not sure this could be well perceived at the said office in general. Plus, how do I bring this up in the hiring process? During the first interview? Second one? Common sense would command that I disclose this as soon as possible in the process, right?

Anyone worked on the same office as their significant other? Did you feel in competition with each other regarding getting work from partners, billables and/or prospects of making partner? One of my fears is to become in competition with him, since our practices are both in business and transactional law.

And, most importantly, did this impact negatively your personal relationship?

Thanks in advance for the advice.

[Anonymous User]

You should ask him if there are other couples at the firm. Some firms have married couples, some let couples date but if one marries one needs to leave, some don't want to put up with that at all.

Then I'd reach out or have him reach out to one of the other lawyers in a relationship and talk to them.

I imagine if you're both gunning for partner, this won't work as well as if one of you is planning on departing.

[Anonymous User]

Yes, this needs to be vetted. Many firms don't care a lick, other firms have very strict nepotism policies. (You said S/O, so I am not sure if you are married.) At many firms, the rationale for this is that, ostensibly, you will both stay to try to make partner. If one makes partner and another is up for partner, it is not proper for the partner to weigh in on their spouse's partnership chances. Also, then, of course, one of you will leave to avoid this. So some firms don't want the hassle. Really, this needs to be inquired into, discreetly, hopefully by someone other than your partner, before you even apply.

Also, you didn't say whether your partner is in the business/transactional group, but if so, this would be a doubly bad idea unless you're the same class year and wouldn't be co-staffed. Just...awkward. ATL is not that small of a market--might be worth it to just not go there. Alternately, if you are just dating, and it's pretty casual, I wouldn't even disclose it. You could pretend that you started dating at the firm!

[Anonymous User]

OP here.

He told me there is one other couple at his firm.

However, risking being in the same practice group, even if we are not co-staffed, means we'd still be in somewhat of a competition regarding billables or working with partners and getting assignments.

I'll try and ask him if he can enquire about the other couple at his office and how they deal with it. I guess at this point we'd better off not mixing our professional and personal lives