Office wars with one of the paralegals

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bern victim

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Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2016 3:58 pm

Re: Office wars with one of the paralegals

Postby bern victim » Wed Jun 22, 2016 3:59 pm

maybe she'll invite you to the firm sadie hawkins dance

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Dcc617

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Posts: 2287
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Re: Office wars with one of the paralegals

Postby Dcc617 » Wed Jun 22, 2016 4:02 pm

bern victim wrote:maybe she'll invite you to the firm Sophie B. hawkins dance

kaysta

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Re: Office wars with one of the paralegals

Postby kaysta » Wed Jun 22, 2016 5:55 pm

bern victim wrote:maybe she'll invite you to the firm sadie hawkins dance

yeah thats the strategy credited by social autists, anyhow

kaysta

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Re: Office wars with one of the paralegals

Postby kaysta » Wed Jun 22, 2016 6:00 pm

Anonymous User wrote:OP here, update:
Office wars officially over, she thought the managing partner was me and sprinted away from him...embarrassed herself pretty bad :lol:

next step: get a drink with her

OP take charge here. dont ask her out for drinks, bring drink to her, so she cant escape

Anonymous User
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Re: Office wars with one of the paralegals

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jun 22, 2016 6:07 pm

If she turns down the drinks you can simply eliminate her. Find out what her vice is, and plan a gruesome murder on that. Is she overcharging seamless in a gluttonous fashion? Force fee her egg rolls till she pops. Padding her hours? Surgically replace her intestines with feathers so to turn her into a pillow. Management will assume there's a serial killer in HR knocking off support staff according to the firm's list of seven deadly sins you were warned about at orientation, and you'll be in the clear.

pinkiepie

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Re: Office wars with one of the paralegals

Postby pinkiepie » Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:21 pm

Anonymous User wrote:If she turns down the drinks you can simply eliminate her. Find out what her vice is, and plan a gruesome murder on that. Is she overcharging seamless in a gluttonous fashion? Force fee her egg rolls till she pops. Padding her hours? Surgically replace her intestines with feathers so to turn her into a pillow. Management will assume there's a serial killer in HR knocking off support staff according to the firm's list of seven deadly sins you were warned about at orientation, and you'll be in the clear.


That escalated quickly.



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