Are kind, happy lawyers an oxymoron?
Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 5:13 pm
This is not to complain about my job because I am grateful for it and privileged to have it, but I am miserable and want some advice (from older/wiser lawyers) if there is soemthing better out therethan my current practice or if practicing law is just shitty no matter where you work or what kind of work you do.
Context: I do general practice (commercial litigation and privately-held transactional) in a smaller market (think smaller than ATL or Texas cities, but bigger than Omaha, NE) at a very small law firm where I am the only associate. I've been practicing for less than a year and I hate my job. In the first months of practice I was happy overall because I don't think I am direspected or mistreated and I do get to handle a variety of cases and do hearings and trials. But, in the last 6 months, the majority of the time I am like "I wish I did not hav this job." I have yet to deal with opposing counsel who are really unnecessary rude and bullying (maybe this is a function of litigation), except for small claims matters of when interacting with government attorneys. And I don't really like my clients or the cases much; it just always seems like entitled business owners fighting over petty, greedy shit they could resolve by just being decent people instead of taking up the court and jury's time. Obviously I benefit from their pettiness and enable it so that feels shitty too. I've also been really disheartened by the judiciary; maybe it's because I practice in state court alot and our judges are elected with help from bigger law firms; but I've found that, whenever it's bigger law firm/bigger donor v. smaller law firm/not donor, the decision goes to bigger law firm (without a legal basis). Basically I'm just disenchanted with the civil litigation system, my firm, and my clients and am worried I will turn into an asshole if I keep doing it long enough and/or become as stressed out as my bosses. Apparently I have shown promise in litigation, but it's not something I wanna do if it makes me unhappy everyday or brings out my nastier character traits.
My first incliation is that my dissatisfaction is particular to civil lit/my firm. I assume litigators are known to be miserable assholes for a reason. But my firm also has major morale problems and staff turnover/issues so I'm not sure if I just have this feeling of general malaise because that it what is permeating the office or if it's because litigation/law in general (even if its not in BigLAw or NYC) is miserable. My bosses are constantly stressed and take it out on me and the staff by blaming us for their screw ups.
The alternatives are transactional, which doesn't seem much better/more from my experience with it or the accounts of people who only do transactional. People who work for the government seem alot happier, despite the lower pay and the potential politics of it (gotta love the no billables and job security). I also feel like in-house or other kinds of regulatory/advising law is less adversarial. But these jobs are hard to get; that was what I was aiming for throughout law school and ended up at a firm because I coudldn't get a govt gig. Also, from the govt and in-hosue lawyers I've spoken with, to lateral to a good govt job you have to gut it out in civil lit for awhile to even be considered.
I like the intellectual aspects of the law; reading texts and figuring out answers and solving problems for people, but there's just so many negative things obscuring it right now and I am not sure it will be better in a different job. Anyone made a transfer from civil lit to another area (or from a small firm to a big firm/in-house/govt/non-profit) and been like "whew, much better!"? I can hate my job for now, but, if the exit strategy will be just as shitty there doesn't seem to be a point.
Context: I do general practice (commercial litigation and privately-held transactional) in a smaller market (think smaller than ATL or Texas cities, but bigger than Omaha, NE) at a very small law firm where I am the only associate. I've been practicing for less than a year and I hate my job. In the first months of practice I was happy overall because I don't think I am direspected or mistreated and I do get to handle a variety of cases and do hearings and trials. But, in the last 6 months, the majority of the time I am like "I wish I did not hav this job." I have yet to deal with opposing counsel who are really unnecessary rude and bullying (maybe this is a function of litigation), except for small claims matters of when interacting with government attorneys. And I don't really like my clients or the cases much; it just always seems like entitled business owners fighting over petty, greedy shit they could resolve by just being decent people instead of taking up the court and jury's time. Obviously I benefit from their pettiness and enable it so that feels shitty too. I've also been really disheartened by the judiciary; maybe it's because I practice in state court alot and our judges are elected with help from bigger law firms; but I've found that, whenever it's bigger law firm/bigger donor v. smaller law firm/not donor, the decision goes to bigger law firm (without a legal basis). Basically I'm just disenchanted with the civil litigation system, my firm, and my clients and am worried I will turn into an asshole if I keep doing it long enough and/or become as stressed out as my bosses. Apparently I have shown promise in litigation, but it's not something I wanna do if it makes me unhappy everyday or brings out my nastier character traits.
My first incliation is that my dissatisfaction is particular to civil lit/my firm. I assume litigators are known to be miserable assholes for a reason. But my firm also has major morale problems and staff turnover/issues so I'm not sure if I just have this feeling of general malaise because that it what is permeating the office or if it's because litigation/law in general (even if its not in BigLAw or NYC) is miserable. My bosses are constantly stressed and take it out on me and the staff by blaming us for their screw ups.
The alternatives are transactional, which doesn't seem much better/more from my experience with it or the accounts of people who only do transactional. People who work for the government seem alot happier, despite the lower pay and the potential politics of it (gotta love the no billables and job security). I also feel like in-house or other kinds of regulatory/advising law is less adversarial. But these jobs are hard to get; that was what I was aiming for throughout law school and ended up at a firm because I coudldn't get a govt gig. Also, from the govt and in-hosue lawyers I've spoken with, to lateral to a good govt job you have to gut it out in civil lit for awhile to even be considered.
I like the intellectual aspects of the law; reading texts and figuring out answers and solving problems for people, but there's just so many negative things obscuring it right now and I am not sure it will be better in a different job. Anyone made a transfer from civil lit to another area (or from a small firm to a big firm/in-house/govt/non-profit) and been like "whew, much better!"? I can hate my job for now, but, if the exit strategy will be just as shitty there doesn't seem to be a point.