Summer Associate Class of 2015

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Desert Fox
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DFTHREAD

Postby Desert Fox » Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:55 pm

fobstory.jpeg
Last edited by Desert Fox on Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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beepboopbeep
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby beepboopbeep » Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:57 pm

Desert Fox wrote:
BigZuck wrote:
Usually it works out that there isn't a planned lunch once a week. But we can ask attorneys if we want to, or just do our own thing.


Oh if there isn't a planned lunch 4/5 days i retract my burgers comment.


It sounds like there IS a planned lunch 4/5 days? Which, yea, I don't think anyone's gonna blame you taking one day a week to do your own thing.

Unless I just can't read. Today has been full of federal register and brain is mush.

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rpupkin
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby rpupkin » Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:59 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I don't know. This isn't my first run in with this associate. Last week we had an evening firm event and I told the associate in passing that I was planning to bring a date, and they made a shocked face and said it was inappropriate. The associate (who didn't attend the event and wasn't involved in the planning) actually said it was "bold" of me to bring a date and that I shouldn't do it. In fact 3 other summers brought dates, and the attorney who was in charge of the event had explicitly cleared us to bring dates ahead of time. So I just feel like I'm constantly crossing wires with this associate. It's not really comforting that you're technically in the right when you're still somehow pissing off an associate. I wouldn't mind, given that they're not supervising any of my work and not on the hiring committee, but they *are* in my practice group of choice.

Here's what you do. Go to Starbucks and order a 20 oz. coffee. Pay for it yourself.

Walk into the associate's office with said coffee. As you remove the lid, say: "Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something." Before the associate can answer, proceed to pour the coffee--slowly and steadily--on the associate's keyboard. Maintain direct eye contact with the associate. Try not to blink.

Once the last drop of coffee has saturated the associate's keyboard, say: "I like having lunch with the attorneys here, but once in awhile I prefer just having a sandwich at my desk. Is that a problem for you, bitch?" Then bounce the empty coffee cup off the associate's head, turn around, and walk out.

Problem solved.

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pancakes3
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby pancakes3 » Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:02 pm

rpupkin wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:I don't know. This isn't my first run in with this associate. Last week we had an evening firm event and I told the associate in passing that I was planning to bring a date, and they made a shocked face and said it was inappropriate. The associate (who didn't attend the event and wasn't involved in the planning) actually said it was "bold" of me to bring a date and that I shouldn't do it. In fact 3 other summers brought dates, and the attorney who was in charge of the event had explicitly cleared us to bring dates ahead of time. So I just feel like I'm constantly crossing wires with this associate. It's not really comforting that you're technically in the right when you're still somehow pissing off an associate. I wouldn't mind, given that they're not supervising any of my work and not on the hiring committee, but they *are* in my practice group of choice.

Here's what you do. Go to Starbucks and order a 20 oz. coffee. Pay for it yourself.

Walk into the associate's office with said coffee. As you remove the lid, say: "Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something." Before the associate can answer, proceed to pour the coffee--slowly and steadily--on the associate's keyboard. Maintain direct eye contact with the associate. Try not to blink.

Once the last drop of coffee has saturated the associate's keyboard, say: "I like having lunch with the attorneys here, but once in awhile I prefer just having a sandwich at my desk. Is that a problem for you, bitch?" Then bounce the empty coffee cup off the associate's head, turn around, and walk out.

Problem solved.


dark roast or blonde? asking for a friend.

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Cobretti
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby Cobretti » Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:12 pm

rpupkin wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:I don't know. This isn't my first run in with this associate. Last week we had an evening firm event and I told the associate in passing that I was planning to bring a date, and they made a shocked face and said it was inappropriate. The associate (who didn't attend the event and wasn't involved in the planning) actually said it was "bold" of me to bring a date and that I shouldn't do it. In fact 3 other summers brought dates, and the attorney who was in charge of the event had explicitly cleared us to bring dates ahead of time. So I just feel like I'm constantly crossing wires with this associate. It's not really comforting that you're technically in the right when you're still somehow pissing off an associate. I wouldn't mind, given that they're not supervising any of my work and not on the hiring committee, but they *are* in my practice group of choice.

Here's what you do. Go to Starbucks and order a 20 oz. coffee. Pay for it yourself.

Walk into the associate's office with said coffee. As you remove the lid, say: "Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something." Before the associate can answer, proceed to pour the coffee--slowly and steadily--on the associate's keyboard. Maintain direct eye contact with the associate. Try not to blink.

Once the last drop of coffee has saturated the associate's keyboard, say: "I like having lunch with the attorneys here, but once in awhile I prefer just having a sandwich at my desk. Is that a problem for you, bitch?" Then bounce the empty coffee cup off the associate's head, turn around, and walk out.

Problem solved.

Are you the kind of guy that leaves existential haikus in the copy machine?

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rpupkin
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby rpupkin » Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:19 pm

Cobretti wrote:Are you the kind of guy that leaves existential haikus in the copy machine?

No way. Leaving haikus--existential or otherwise--in the copy machine puts you in no-offer territory.

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Cobretti
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby Cobretti » Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:12 pm

rpupkin wrote:
Cobretti wrote:Are you the kind of guy that leaves existential haikus in the copy machine?

No way. Leaving haikus--existential or otherwise--in the copy machine puts you in no-offer territory.

I am jack's broken heart

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El Pollito
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby El Pollito » Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:14 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I'm not a troll. I decided to go talk to someone in recruiting about it and the recruiting person said it was totally fine, not to worry about it, and the associate must have been joking. That made me feel a lot better, even though the associate was absolutely not joking. It's hard to convey the associate's tone but the best way I can describe it was judgmental, disapproving, and insistent. There was no smiling and they kept repeating that I wasn't supposed to eat lunch alone, that we are told never to eat lunch at our desks, and that I really shouldn't do what I was about to go do (go grab a sandwich and be back quickly). I kept repeating "Even just to grab a sandwich? Even if it's only my 2nd time ever?" and the associate never softened. Couldn't even enjoy my darn sandwich after that.

psycho

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First Offense
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby First Offense » Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:25 pm

rpupkin wrote:
Cobretti wrote:Are you the kind of guy that leaves existential haikus in the copy machine?

No way. Leaving haikus--existential or otherwise--in the copy machine puts you in no-offer territory.

Limericks?

Anonymous User
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:10 pm

Leaving at noon to go golfing with an associate. Cool beans?

Anonymous User
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:28 pm

Is it okay to ask if you are on track for a full time offer during your midsummer review?

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El Pollito
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby El Pollito » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:33 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Is it okay to ask if you are on track for a full time offer during your midsummer review?

no

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swampman
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby swampman » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:34 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Is it okay to ask if you are on track for a full time offer during your midsummer review?

No, dude. No. Don't be weird.

First, they can't answer that. Second, the point of the review is to tell you whether or not you're doing a good job. Third, if they said no, what would you do? Stop slacking off?

Anonymous User
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:38 pm

i am going to be the first person in like five years to get no offered at my firm. i swear it will happen. I have inadvertently insulted at least two associates and a partner. fuck me

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smaug
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby smaug » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:39 pm

Anonymous User wrote:i am going to be the first person in like five years to get no offered at my firm. i swear it will happen. I have inadvertently insulted at least two associates and a partner. fuck me

What did you do?

BigZuck
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby BigZuck » Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:40 pm

Desert Fox wrote:
BigZuck wrote:
beepboopbeep wrote:
BigZuck wrote:We sometimes have free lunches and are allowed, encouraged, and possibly expected to ask attorneys out to lunch. I haven't done it yet because hell, man, sometimes I've gotta get my Big Mac on in peace.

If I get no offered for that then so be it.

...no offer?


I'm 100% with you. It's such a relief not to spend 2h stuffing myself to the point of discomfort. Still do that like 3-4 days a week but gotta have some recovery days too.

Wait or are you saying you have had no free lunches at all so far

Cuz that would be kind of weird to me tbh. But I've heard places vary on this a lot. Here I'd say the majority of summers are going out to free lunch on any given day. Maybe even like 75-80%.


Usually it works out that there isn't a planned lunch once a week. But we can ask attorneys if we want to, or just do our own thing.


Oh if there isn't a planned lunch 4/5 days i retract my burgers comment.

I have over 8000 posts on http://www.toplawschools.com. Pretty sure that makes me per se burgers.

(he said, burgerly)

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skers
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby skers » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:08 pm

Man, free lunch is a beautiful thing. Y'all need to adjust your priorities.

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DELG
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby DELG » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:13 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Leaving at noon to go golfing with an associate. Cool beans?

I am a little worried this associate is YOLOing on their way out of there and is welcoming to to join him on the RQ ride

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skers
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby skers » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:16 pm

If you're really worried about it, you can ask recruiting. Totally depends on the firm culture, but I went to noon baseball games w/ associates w/ no problems.

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sublime
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby sublime » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:19 pm

..

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skers
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby skers » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:31 pm

Yeah, fuck all those people who want y'all to have free delicious food at the painful price of talking w/ other human beings. What the shit. Y'all have the rest of your careers to depressingly shovel food down at your desk.

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rpupkin
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby rpupkin » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:34 pm

skers wrote:Yeah, fuck all those people who want y'all to have free delicious food at the painful price of talking w/ other human beings. What the shit. Y'all have the rest of your careers to depressingly shovel food down at your desk.

Good strawman, bro. There's a difference, of course, between consistently refusing to eat lunch with others and occasionally eating lunch at your desk.

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Tiago Splitter
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby Tiago Splitter » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:41 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I'm not a troll. I decided to go talk to someone in recruiting about it and the recruiting person said it was totally fine, not to worry about it, and the associate must have been joking. That made me feel a lot better, even though the associate was absolutely not joking. It's hard to convey the associate's tone but the best way I can describe it was judgmental, disapproving, and insistent. There was no smiling and they kept repeating that I wasn't supposed to eat lunch alone, that we are told never to eat lunch at our desks, and that I really shouldn't do what I was about to go do (go grab a sandwich and be back quickly). I kept repeating "Even just to grab a sandwich? Even if it's only my 2nd time ever?" and the associate never softened. Couldn't even enjoy my darn sandwich after that.

My third day as a summer last year an older guy I hadn't seen started talking to me in the elevator bank and asked why I was leaving at 7:30. I made up a story about how we'd reached a good stopping point but the guy seemed legitimately irritated that I was leaving so "early." I wasn't worried about a no-offer or anything but thought this guy really sucks and then realized later he fucks with everyone. I'd guess same thing happened to you.

Also likely the associate wanted a free meal and needed a summer to take him.

03152016
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby 03152016 » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:44 pm

i'm rarely at the office that late
no one seems to care

Anonymous User
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Re: Summer Associate Class of 2015: Rick James Edition

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:45 pm

My favorite are the people who frequently admonish you not to stay past 6 as a summer, then send you strings of email requests around 6:30 or 7 acting surprised they couldn't reach you at your desk phone.




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