Missing weekend social event during SA Forum

[mephistopheles]

I am not sure if everyone is trolling or not but missing a summer event is not going to cost your job in the short term. Everything has its consequences, but it is not that dire if everything is otherwise fine.

I mean, also, that's why TCR is to choose 100% offer firms.

lolol since when is any family event this important

[hdunlop]

OP what's the family event and which family members would be mad

[Anonymous User]

OP here. Thanks for the responses, everyone. I don't want to get into specifics, but I will say it's not a funeral, a sibling's wedding, or anything quite that important. On the other hand, it's not like missing a birthday or family reunion; people are going to be mad and stay mad for a while. But they'll move on eventually.

What I really was struggling with was the importance of going to the event, since I'm new to the biglaw world and unfamiliar with its unwritten rules, norms, etc. It sounds like the consensus is that missing the retreat would look pretty bad.

[masque du pantsu]

Dude, it just totally depends. How big is your summer class? During my summer, we had events where people would notice your absence and ones where they wouldn't, but in no case was missing the event really that big of a deal.

[El Pollito]

I'd say missing any event besides a firm retreat would be fine, but missing a retreat is kind of bad.

[Anastasia Dee Dualla]

I'd say missing any event besides a firm retreat would be fine, but missing a retreat is kind of bad.

This is why I gave the response I did. It's not a dinner or a miniature golf tournament. This is a retreat which, presumably, means it was likely costly and the other summers will likely be there.

[El Pollito]

I'd say missing any event besides a firm retreat would be fine, but missing a retreat is kind of bad.

This is why I gave the response I did. It's not a dinner or a miniature golf tournament. This is a retreat which, presumably, means it was likely costly and the other summers will likely be there.

Just wanted to clarify because some people seem to be interpreting the advice ITT as "you can't miss any SA event," which isn't accurate.

[Anastasia Dee Dualla]

Just wanted to clarify because some people seem to be interpreting the advice ITT as "you can't miss any SA event," which isn't accurate.

Gotcha!

[Anonymous User]

I think it varies, as El Pollito said, by the nature of the retreat. For example, I know people who missed parts of the Cravath "retreat" which was a day at the firm and catered dinner in Tribeca. I think that's fine. But missing Latham's "retreat" that they do by flying everyone to CA seems more of a game-changer.

[skers]

Yeah, missed that it was a retreat so that changes things. It's hard to answer specifically since we don't know the firm, so OP we are answering generally based on what would be the worst case. There's more shit at play, obviously. By not mandatory did they do the typical passive aggressive 'but we highly encourage everyone to go.' Are you otherwise a weirdo where you probably shouldn't be pushing your luck. Is this a 100% offer firm and what kind of retreat is it? Ect.

Your best bet is to get info from someone you bonded with during recruiting to find out how the firm looks at this shit informally. Upperclassman that summered there as well could also possibly give info. At least better than a bunch of assholes on the internet.

[lawschoolftw]

OP here. Thanks for the responses, everyone. I don't want to get into specifics, but I will say it's not a funeral, a sibling's wedding, or anything quite that important. On the other hand, it's not like missing a birthday or family reunion; people are going to be mad and stay mad for a while. But they'll move on eventually.

What I really was struggling with was the importance of going to the event, since I'm new to the biglaw world and unfamiliar with its unwritten rules, norms, etc. It sounds like the consensus is that missing the retreat would look pretty bad.

You're family/friends etc. should get used to you letting them down as you head into biglaw (half joking).

In all seriousness, I think the advice here is spot on; because it's a formal retreat and not just a happy hour etc., I would miss the family event. You won't get no-offered because of it, but you might rub some people the wrong way and it's not the way you want to start off your career with a firm.

[hdunlop]

Maybe pick between telling the firm someone died and telling your family the firm needed you in court.

[TLSModBot]

Maybe pick between telling the firm someone died and telling your family the firm needed you in court.

The true CR is to do both and then go drinking.

[hdunlop]

Boom. And people say the TLS hive mind isn't good for anything. You're welcome, OP.

[rpupkin]

I'd say missing any event besides a firm retreat would be fine, but missing a retreat is kind of bad.

Agree. Although I think TLS'ers tend to freak out too much about their SA responsibilities, a firm retreat is something you should try not to miss. It would be different if you were just missing normal work days. At most big firms, your "performance" at these stupid retreats is probably more important than your work product.

[Dafaq]

The office setting is one thing but an outing (ours was on a lake) can be indescribably rewarding. To this day the two partners I connected with provide me the majority of my most interesting workload. I can’t comment on anyone who refused the outing because I don’t believe anyone did. BTW: Plus their fun.

[Anonymous User]

How much it matters will vary from firm to firm but in all likelihood you would be fine missing the event. My firm last summer also did an out-of-town retreat. One person missed it for their own wedding. Another missed it for the wedding of a friend where he was in the wedding party. Both were totally fine. That being said you need to ask yourself whether its worth the risk. Any non-zero chance that it could affect your offer is worth considering.

[Emma.]

And I think there's a non-zero chance that it could affect your offer. Of course no one is going to suggest no offering you because you missed the retreat. But there are going to be a bunch of attorneys who gave up their weekends with their families/friends to attend this thing. You don't want to be tagged in their heads as the summer that skipped out on the retreat. It probably won't cause resentment but it might. And that could potentially lead to an unconsciously negative view of you and/or your work product when it's time to submit a review.

[r6_philly]

I'm amazed that people honk that people would notice SAs missing at an event, especially in a big class. There are times where I spent a whole day without anyone noticing I was there. I have personally missed a few events where people just assumed that I was there. I assure you, at least at my firm, no one gives a hoot. If you want to miss free food and drink that's on you. As long as you are willing to bill your hours when you come back ... Heck theyd probably rather you don't so you can stay and bill.

[El Pollito]

I'm amazed that people honk that people would notice SAs missing at an event, especially in a big class. There are times where I spent a whole day without anyone noticing I was there. I have personally missed a few events where people just assumed that I was there. I assure you, at least at my firm, no one gives a hoot. If you want to miss free food and drink that's on you. As long as you are willing to bill your hours when you come back ... Heck theyd probably rather you don't so you can stay and bill.

It's not a regular event.

[2014]

The fact that OP even knows the exact date of this event in April speaks to its importance imo.

OP: I want this thread bumped in 2-3 years when you either miss your first Thanksgiving, Christmas, wedding, reunion, etc or tell your firm to fuck off you are going home. Should provide a good story either way

[Old Gregg]

your family sounds stupid.