2L Married with Kid(s?)

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2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Nov 16, 2013 8:43 am

My wife and I are discussing the possibility of having another kid and I'm not sure about time frame. I am older than most of my law school peers and we have one kid already. What is the opinion of firms if you are a 2L with one kid already and possibly a second on the way. Will the firm that I am summering at not offer me a position because my wife is pregnant and it looks bad (read:irresponsible) or will it look good since I'm a family man.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby eerie_erie » Sat Nov 16, 2013 9:32 am

It shouldn't come up in the interview. If you are concerned, ask career services about how to deal with an assertive but tactful response. Honestly, I think it shouldn't matter to you what a firm thinks, you've got to make your own judgment call as to whether it will take up a lot of your time and impair your ability to work/raise a family or both.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Nov 16, 2013 9:32 am

I had a colleague this summer who had a kid and it didn't matter since he still got an offer after his SA. If anything, being a guy with a kid is less bad in firms' eyes than being a woman with a kid (I'm a woman, and that's just my perception). If the firm is going to no offer you over that, they are not worth being at anyways. Plus, attorneys have kids all the time -- my mentor was on her second pregnancy and she was a second-year associate. I say, if the time is right for you and you feel like it won't affect your performance at the firm during the summer, then go ahead. Having kids is probably never ideal or convenient, but if you feel like it's time, you should go for it.

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BVest
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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby BVest » Sat Nov 16, 2013 3:19 pm

eerie_erie wrote:It shouldn't come up in the interview.


As in it won't unless you bring it up or the interviewer is completely untrained. Generally questions about marital and family status are out of bounds because of the potential for sexual discrimination, but the EEOC looks askance at employers that ask them of men or women.

Practically (as stated before), as a guy, most firms will not consider the fact you have a kid or two as a bad thing. It may even be something you bring up yourself if it's relevant to one of your answers. e.g. "Why San Francisco? (If you have no apparent resume ties to the area)" "My wife's family is from San Francisco and we wanted our 2 year-old to grow up near his grandparents." There you have a strong tie to a city that often requires ties.

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mephistopheles
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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby mephistopheles » Sat Nov 16, 2013 3:24 pm

a man with kids seems to be a plus actually, as it means you are tied down re: options and location and represent a safe bet.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Nov 16, 2013 3:47 pm

Older 2L here, I highly doubt it will be an issue. I am in my 30s and a fellow 1L SA was in her 40s with two kids. We both received offers to return. She is splitting her summer and I am going to another firm.

My 1L summer firm had a few family and bring your significant other events, which are great because the partners and associates will bring their families. You should be fine!

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Magnifique1908 » Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:55 pm

You'll be fine. I am an older student with one kid. Summered at a big firm where quite a few of my fellow summers had children. It was so different that the firm changed one of its major traditional events to a more family friendly event. Two of the 2L summers had four children each (one guy and one gal). They both received full time offers. The girl is returning but I'm not sure about the guy (he split between three firms and got offers from all of them).

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby IAFG » Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:57 pm

I would try not to summer with a newborn but other than that it won't be a factor (for a man.)

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Nov 16, 2013 6:44 pm

This is a non-issue. No one will make a hiring decision based on the fact that you have children, especially if you're a man.

Also re not having a newborn during the summer - the summer at most firms is much more relaxed than life as an associate so that seems like a great time to have a newborn. You'll also be starting your third year shortly thereafter which, if you have an offer in hand, will be the least stressful time of your law school career.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby IAFG » Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:15 pm

Anonymous User wrote:This is a non-issue. No one will make a hiring decision based on the fact that you have children, especially if you're a man.

Also re not having a newborn during the summer - the summer at most firms is much more relaxed than life as an associate so that seems like a great time to have a newborn. You'll also be starting your third year shortly thereafter which, if you have an offer in hand, will be the least stressful time of your law school career.

Non-summer associate would be worse, but as a 3L would be better.

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worldtraveler
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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby worldtraveler » Sat Nov 16, 2013 8:23 pm

Tons of guys had kids during law school without issue. I mean, it's not ideal to have a baby during finals week but I know of people who even did that and ended up fine.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby 2014 » Sat Nov 16, 2013 8:28 pm

If you are concerned, I don't see how they ever have to find out. Yeah if you bring her to firm events they will see, but she doesn't have to come to any of them. Just say she is in and out of town if they ask why she hasn't made it, but I feel like it won't even come up.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Nov 16, 2013 9:35 pm

My son was born a few weeks before finals of 1L year. The week before he was born and continuing into the week or two after, I had gone on an interview for a SA position and didn't even mention it. We all went together to family oriented firm events over the summer. They offered me a SA position for 2L summer. No big deal.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Nov 17, 2013 8:36 pm

My second was born second semester of 2L. Everybody just assumes you're responsible and hard working. The fact that you have a family + accomplish the same shit that you're single, responsibility-free peers accomplish is impressive. Further, I could connect to partners much easier than my fellow SAs because the partner and I could discuss parenting stuff. Also, the summer coordinator encouraged me to skip out on activities whenever I needed to spend more time with my family.

The only thing was that I sometimes got this weird vibe from female associates in their thirties, like they were jealous that an SA had kids but they didn't.

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Re: 2L Married with Kid(s?)

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Nov 17, 2013 8:48 pm

2L with two kids here. Was expecting my second during OCI. If anything, it was a plus. Great conversation topic, and firms seem to believe that I was invested in working hard.




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