Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

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How will bonuses compare to last year?

Up
21
22%
Same
66
68%
Down
10
10%
 
Total votes: 97

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stillwater
Posts: 3811
Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:59 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby stillwater » Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:19 pm

Big Shrimpin wrote:K&E bonus memo just dropped:

Awesome XO Poast wrote:TO: The fucking sons-of-bitches at KIRKLAND & ELLIS LLP

FR: Uncle Weymouth

RE: MARKET SHATTERING BONUSES

CLASS OF 2012: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2011: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2010: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2009: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2008: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2007: YOU'RE A PARTNER


classic

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thesealocust
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thesealocust » Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:26 pm

Also posted like a dozen times ITT?

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Monochromatic Oeuvre
Posts: 1929
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Monochromatic Oeuvre » Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:46 pm

thesealocust wrote:Also posted like a dozen times ITT?


Formula: Number of bonus mentions = Number of partners you made last year/7.

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Big Shrimpin
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:13 pm

thesealocust wrote:Also posted like a dozen times ITT?


But it's just so funny dooder.

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Monochromatic Oeuvre
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Monochromatic Oeuvre » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:22 pm

Big Shrimpin wrote:
thesealocust wrote:Also posted like a dozen times ITT?


But it's just so funny dooder.


TBF since the NY to 190 and Skadden DOUBLES flames have long since run their course, there hasn't been a whole lot of new material.

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stillwater
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby stillwater » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:28 pm

Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:
Big Shrimpin wrote:
thesealocust wrote:Also posted like a dozen times ITT?


But it's just so funny dooder.


TBF since the NY to 190 and Skadden DOUBLES flames have long since run their course, there hasn't been a whole lot of new material.


they haven't run their course. im pretty sure i heard credible rumors of STB to 190 recently. CREDIBLE

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ExBiglawAssociate
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby ExBiglawAssociate » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:45 pm

stillwater wrote:
Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:
Big Shrimpin wrote:
thesealocust wrote:Also posted like a dozen times ITT?


But it's just so funny dooder.


TBF since the NY to 190 and Skadden DOUBLES flames have long since run their course, there hasn't been a whole lot of new material.


they haven't run their course. im pretty sure i heard credible rumors of STB to 190 recently. CREDIBLE


Stop it.

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thesealocust
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thesealocust » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:14 pm

NY TO 190!

09042014
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Joined: Wed Oct 14, 2009 10:47 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby 09042014 » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:17 pm

thesealocust wrote:NY TO 190!


NY will NEVER get to 190. EVER EVER

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thesealocust
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thesealocust » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:36 pm

Desert Fox wrote:
thesealocust wrote:NY TO 190!


NY to 190!


WOOOOOO!

keg411
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby keg411 » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:52 pm

Needs moar QUINN REMAINS jokes.

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Big Shrimpin
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Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:53 pm

keg411 wrote:Needs moar QUINN REMAINS jokes.


Oceans rise

Cities fall

QUINN remains

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:59 pm

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Dec 07, 2013 4:22 pm

Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys


/fixed

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Big Shrimpin
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Sat Dec 07, 2013 5:26 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys


/fixed



HAH!

echooo23
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 11:29 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby echooo23 » Sat Dec 07, 2013 8:02 pm

Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190


For real?

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TTRansfer
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby TTRansfer » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:48 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys


/fixed


Well played.

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Dec 08, 2013 11:08 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys


/fixed


It would solve the legal unemployment problem!

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Big Shrimpin
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Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Sun Dec 08, 2013 11:20 am

echooo23 wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190


For real?


I'm going to need a verification that the source has been vetted.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273310
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:16 pm

I can confirm that when firm gives internal presentations about the market featuring a scatter plot of firms based on the variables of PRESTIGE and complexity of work, DLA Piper is one of the firms it places in the TTT/Massive/commoditized/non-peer category :lol: :lol:

Actually almost cracked up at the absurdity of the chart came up during the presentation.

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:29 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I can confirm that when firm gives internal presentations about the market featuring a scatter plot of firms based on the variables of PRESTIGE and complexity of work, DLA Piper is one of the firms it places in the TTT/Massive/commoditized/non-peer category :lol: :lol:

Actually almost cracked up at the absurdity of the chart came up during the presentation.


DLA drive-thru windows are poppin up in DROVES

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Old Gregg
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Old Gregg » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:37 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I can confirm that when firm gives internal presentations about the market featuring a scatter plot of firms based on the variables of PRESTIGE and complexity of work, DLA Piper is one of the firms it places in the TTT/Massive/commoditized/non-peer category :lol: :lol:

Actually almost cracked up at the absurdity of the chart came up during the presentation.


To be fair, I've got no bones against DLA Piper as a firm. It knows its place and its partners are making bank. I'd rather be an equity partner at DLA Piper any day (though maybe not in their Kandahar office) than an associate in S&C. Yeah, the partners are not making crazy money like S&C partners, but I wouldn't be surprised if the life was better. Good life+$500-$700k... not much you can ask for.

But associates? If you're thinking of going to DLA Piper, then beware.

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Blindmelon
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Blindmelon » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:55 pm

Big Shrimpin wrote:
echooo23 wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190


For real?


I'm going to need a verification that the source has been vetted.


Given that DLA does not even pay market (160) for all new associates, this is a really stupid joke.

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Old Gregg
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Old Gregg » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:58 pm

Blindmelon wrote:
Big Shrimpin wrote:
echooo23 wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190


For real?


I'm going to need a verification that the source has been vetted.


Given that DLA does not even pay market (160) for all new associates, this is a really stupid joke.


I thought it was awesome because at least one person seemed to have fell for it. But before that? Yeah, stupid joke.

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Big Shrimpin
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Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Sun Dec 08, 2013 1:53 pm

yEah i was Not serious, Just stOking the flame Yo. It haD potentiaL And PossIbly could have PiquEd some aspie inteRest.




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