Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

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How will bonuses compare to last year?

Up
21
22%
Same
66
68%
Down
10
10%
 
Total votes: 97

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Monochromatic Oeuvre
Posts: 1929
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Monochromatic Oeuvre » Wed Dec 04, 2013 1:50 am

Meanwhile, the fucking PARNTERS at KIRKLAND & ELLIS are dropping cream-colored business cards with PARTNER emblazoned in letterpress type on the ladies at the club, and you're wiping your nose with the back of your hand and wheezing beneath the thumping music, "But it's just a sixth year associate" as he's going home with the 9 in moistened panties.


180.

"LOL breh check out this typo from KE, instead of saying they made 8 new partners this year they said 80 LOL" "...bro you're not gonna take this well but..."

keg411
Posts: 5935
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby keg411 » Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:46 am

These all made my morning :lol: :lol: :lol:.

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Old Gregg
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Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:26 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Old Gregg » Wed Dec 04, 2013 3:29 pm

Cleary doubled Cravath. Let the bonus wars begin!!!!

lawstudent_87
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby lawstudent_87 » Wed Dec 04, 2013 3:36 pm

you're such a lying bastard :x

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thesealocust
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thesealocust » Wed Dec 04, 2013 3:46 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Old Gregg
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Old Gregg » Wed Dec 04, 2013 3:51 pm

I thought the first response would be some self righteous aspie gleefully telling me how wrong I am and pasting a link to ATL. TLS exceeded my expectations.

But seriously, I love how every ATL post is structured like this...

Will the bonus beat Cravath? There's a possibility. I mean, it's likely. Click to find out.

<<<<click>>>>

No, they just matched Cravath.


What a shit blog.

WhirledWorld
Posts: 331
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:04 am

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby WhirledWorld » Wed Dec 04, 2013 4:21 pm

zweitbester wrote:I thought the first response would be some self righteous aspie gleefully telling me how wrong I am and pasting a link to ATL. TLS exceeded my expectations.

But seriously, I love how every ATL post is structured like this...

Will the bonus beat Cravath? There's a possibility. I mean, it's likely. Click to find out.

<<<<click>>>>

No, they just matched Cravath.


What a shit blog.


Lat's gotta farm dem clicks.

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thesealocust
Posts: 8447
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thesealocust » Wed Dec 04, 2013 4:41 pm

In their defense, it probably works as very effective click baiting (can't argue with success, etc.)

KaNa1986
Posts: 79
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby KaNa1986 » Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:13 pm

Cleary isn't a market leader.
Last edited by KaNa1986 on Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

911 crisis actor
Posts: 207
Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:03 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby 911 crisis actor » Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:16 pm

Wow

Are you a 0L?

dixiecupdrinking
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Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2008 2:39 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby dixiecupdrinking » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:33 pm

thesealocust wrote:In their defense, it probably works as very effective click baiting (can't argue with success, etc.)

This is pretty much the only time of the year ATL is worth reading anymore so let them have their fun, I guess, even if it is just a sad echo of the days when there would actually be some suspense (and optimism!) about bonuses.

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Big Shrimpin
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:36 pm

dixiecupdrinking wrote:
thesealocust wrote:In their defense, it probably works as very effective click baiting (can't argue with success, etc.)

This is pretty much the only time of the year ATL is worth reading anymore so let them have their fun, I guess, even if it is just a sad echo of the days when there would actually be some suspense (and optimism!) about bonuses.


Yep. Ugh.

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wert3813
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby wert3813 » Fri Dec 06, 2013 8:22 pm

Cravath probably realizing they miscalculated bonuses after these new jerbs numbers this morning.

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thelawyler
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thelawyler » Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:43 am

wert3813 wrote:Cravath probably realizing they miscalculated bonuses after these new jerbs numbers this morning.


Yeah, seems to be optimism generally in the economy (well, muted optimism at best I guess)

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ExBiglawAssociate
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby ExBiglawAssociate » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:10 am

thelawyler wrote:
wert3813 wrote:Cravath probably realizing they miscalculated bonuses after these new jerbs numbers this morning.


Yeah, seems to be optimism generally in the economy (well, muted optimism at best I guess)


The economy is optimistic because everyone decided not to sue each other anymore. We're fukt.

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TTRansfer
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby TTRansfer » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:15 am

Biglaw_Associate_V20 wrote:
thelawyler wrote:
wert3813 wrote:Cravath probably realizing they miscalculated bonuses after these new jerbs numbers this morning.


Yeah, seems to be optimism generally in the economy (well, muted optimism at best I guess)


The economy is optimistic because everyone decided not to sue each other anymore. We're fukt.


This is not the America I know and love!

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ExBiglawAssociate
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Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:06 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby ExBiglawAssociate » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:50 am

TTRansfer wrote:
Biglaw_Associate_V20 wrote:
thelawyler wrote:
wert3813 wrote:Cravath probably realizing they miscalculated bonuses after these new jerbs numbers this morning.


Yeah, seems to be optimism generally in the economy (well, muted optimism at best I guess)


The economy is optimistic because everyone decided not to sue each other anymore. We're fukt.


This is not the America I know and love!


God, I hope so.

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thelawyler
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Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:00 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thelawyler » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:57 am

So Willkie and Shearman match. This news isn't very exciting.

dj_roomba
Posts: 95
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 12:28 am

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby dj_roomba » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:12 am

Pardon my ignorance but does almost every other firm either match Cravath or offer lower?

I remember a link I saw here that had compensation for each and every firm. It was widely varied for the firms but it was pre-2007.

Are 50k-75k for first years unheard of now except for WRLK (do they even offer that?)

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wert3813
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby wert3813 » Sat Dec 07, 2013 4:12 am

dj_roomba wrote:Pardon my ignorance but does almost every other firm either match Cravath or offer lower?

I remember a link I saw here that had compensation for each and every firm. It was widely varied for the firms but it was pre-2007.

Are 50k-75k for first years unheard of now except for WRLK (do they even offer that?)

Boies or Susman maybe but others can speak better.

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stillwater
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby stillwater » Sat Dec 07, 2013 10:38 am

thelawyler wrote:So Willkie and Shearman match. This news isn't very exciting.


i had expected WIllkie to SHATTER the market.

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Big Shrimpin
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Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:04 pm

stillwater wrote:
thelawyler wrote:So Willkie and Shearman match. This news isn't very exciting.


i had expected WIllkie to SHATTER the market.


Well we all know K&E will be SHATTERING.

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thesealocust
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby thesealocust » Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:20 pm

dj_roomba wrote:Pardon my ignorance but does almost every other firm either match Cravath or offer lower?

I remember a link I saw here that had compensation for each and every firm. It was widely varied for the firms but it was pre-2007.

Are 50k-75k for first years unheard of now except for WRLK (do they even offer that?)


The market has historically been set by a small handful of firms in NYC and "matched" by over 90%+ of major law firms. Matched is in quotes because eligibility for bonuses can actually vary wildly, as can the percentage of associates meeting even identical targets.

50-75K bonuses were never realistic for first years. There may have been one year where the was a special bonus or something?

WLRK historically offers a large percentage (up to 100%) of base salary in bonus, and as others have pointed out a few other (small, relatively speaking) firms also offer potentially above market bonuses. K&E and Quinn might be the largest firms which realistically offer an expectation of above market compensation (based on hours).

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Old Gregg
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Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Old Gregg » Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:00 pm

stillwater wrote:
thelawyler wrote:So Willkie and Shearman match. This news isn't very exciting.


i had expected WIllkie to SHATTER the market.


Only one firm can SHATTER if we follow the bonus meme history books.

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Big Shrimpin
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Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013)

Postby Big Shrimpin » Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:15 pm

K&E bonus memo just dropped:

Awesome XO Poast wrote:TO: The fucking sons-of-bitches at KIRKLAND & ELLIS LLP

FR: Uncle Weymouth

RE: MARKET SHATTERING BONUSES

CLASS OF 2012: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2011: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2010: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2009: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2008: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2007: YOU'RE A PARTNER




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