Anonymous User wrote:I'm reluctant to post this here and seek advice on my personal life from strangers on an internet forum, but figured its worth hearing from experience. I'm about to accept a nyc biglaw SA position and am almost certain my acceptance will be the de facto end of my relationship. Been dating my SO for 4 years, we're both from the mid-atlantic. My firm is pretty much 100% offer rate, and I would gladly accept an offer at the end of the summer … but my SO is adamant about not moving to nyc with me b/c of her own career interests. The firm I am going to is a v10 firm (only say this for exit-ops), I have no ambition to stay for longer than 3-4 years, but even this will do things for my career that smaller, more regional firms simply cannot provide. My questions, or solicitation for advice, are: (a) is it possible to not only have a relationship in biglaw, but to have a long-distance relationship in biglaw?; (b) am I selfish for pursuing opportunities to further my career at the expense of an important personal relationship? [context FWIW: she has already asked me as I would do reading at 8:30 on a Tuesday night, "is this what our life is going to be like…"]
Anything can work if you prioritize the relationship and you are both on the same page. This sounds like you are not prioritizing the relationship (why NYC if she does not want to move there?) and you are not on the same page (you will be working a lot which she does not seem to get). Sounds like you have your answer.
There's nothing wrong with prioritizing a career over a relationship, btw, if that is what you want. Be glad it happened now and not when you're married with kids.