Anonymous User wrote:Girlfriend, soon to be fiancee wants to be in city X it has highly ranked colleges for her doctorate degree that she most likely will get into.... applying this year. I have a big law offer in city Y, although I like the city....I am not psyched about the law firm. Still have one year to apply to clerkships and jobs in city X.
If I choose the offer, We will probably break up.
What should I do?
I don't understand the last sentence. Has she actually given you some kind of ultimatum or are you just afraid of this? If she has literally insisted that you either live where she wants or she breaks up with you, then she is NOT WORTH MARRYING. But if it's something less clear cut than that, here is what you should consider:
There is no "right" answer to questions like these. Each couple has to reach their own agreement about what is acceptable to them. Some couples are completely fine with one partner's career taking a back seat to the other's. Some couples are willing to live in poverty so they can pursue what they want. Some couples want to do everything possible to maximize their financial well-being. Generally, I think it's best to make ability to pay the bills a priority, which means that it's hard to turn down a good job in hand in favor of a possible future academic career that only might lead to a job five or seven years from now. But if you have the credentials/stats that you're likely to land a good job in the city that she wants to be in, it may not be an issue.
The bottom line is that you have to talk these things out. Your fiancee wants to pursue academia, but she presumably wants a roof over her head too, so you should be able to have a reasonable, civil conversation about it. If you can't do that, it's a relationship problem.