Don't laugh.

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Anonymous User
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Don't laugh.

Postby Anonymous User » Thu May 02, 2013 8:45 pm

What are some good books/ articles/ websites on:

1) Table/ Office Etiquette

2) Schmoozing, small talk, working a room, and all those other things introverts hate

Feel like I should learn these things before SA.

lukertin
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby lukertin » Thu May 02, 2013 8:51 pm


Anonymous User
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby Anonymous User » Thu May 02, 2013 9:17 pm



OP here. Actually, I'm looking more for a how-not-to-be-this-guy type guide. But thanks for the suggestion. You're heading in the right direction.


BeautifulSW
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby BeautifulSW » Fri May 03, 2013 11:12 am

Not a laughing matter. Seriously. Practicing law is about relating to people (unless you are doing contract research or doc review I guess). OP is right to be thinking about it.

johndhi
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby johndhi » Fri May 03, 2013 11:46 am

andrew carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is the classic in this arena.

general self help stuff (tony robbins being the king here) is also a good idea and is generally applicable.

these days, a lot of confidence building sort of stuff is marketed as pickup-artist material.

drive4showLSAT4dough
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby drive4showLSAT4dough » Fri May 03, 2013 11:49 am

Don't worry about being laughed at and you'll probably stop doing things that people laugh at.

Bumi
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby Bumi » Fri May 03, 2013 11:50 am

johndhi wrote:andrew carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is the classic in this arena.

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bandenjamin
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby bandenjamin » Fri May 03, 2013 11:51 am

Bumi wrote:
johndhi wrote:andrew carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is the classic in this arena.


+1

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FlightoftheEarls
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby FlightoftheEarls » Sat May 04, 2013 5:56 pm

bandenjamin wrote:
Bumi wrote:
johndhi wrote:andrew carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is the classic in this arena.


+1

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jrsbaseball5
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby jrsbaseball5 » Sat May 04, 2013 6:05 pm

FlightoftheEarls wrote:
bandenjamin wrote:
Bumi wrote:
johndhi wrote:andrew carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is the classic in this arena.


+1


I also agree with the Tony Robbins suggestion.

BlueDiamond
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby BlueDiamond » Sat May 04, 2013 6:15 pm

I'm actually surprised that this thread has been well received.. number one can be fixed with some work, but I'm of the opinion that number 2 is not something that can be picked up in a book.. sure you can fake extroversion for a cocktail party or a meeting if you want, but honestly if it isn't your personality you'll either fail miserably at trying to pull if off or will manage to pull it off and then regret it down the line when people expect you to always be "that guy" or "that girl" in every social situation

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cinephile
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby cinephile » Sat May 04, 2013 6:17 pm

Anonymous User wrote:What are some good books/ articles/ websites on:

1) Table/ Office Etiquette



Emily Post.

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Balthy
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby Balthy » Sat May 04, 2013 6:17 pm

Never Eat Alone might not tell you exactly what to say as well as other books, but still found a few gems inside.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Sat May 04, 2013 7:06 pm

BlueDiamond wrote:I'm actually surprised that this thread has been well received.. number one can be fixed with some work, but I'm of the opinion that number 2 is not something that can be picked up in a book.. sure you can fake extroversion for a cocktail party or a meeting if you want, but honestly if it isn't your personality you'll either fail miserably at trying to pull if off or will manage to pull it off and then regret it down the line when people expect you to always be "that guy" or "that girl" in every social situation

I don't think that's entirely true. No, I don't think introverts can become extroverts, but I think it's possible to learn techniques that are helpful in networking/social events. It's not necessarily directly connected, but someone posted this in another thread, and I liked it a lot (about how to "fake it till you become it" in things like interviews - I think you could apply it to work social situations). http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your ... u_are.html

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CO2016YEAH
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby CO2016YEAH » Sat May 04, 2013 7:14 pm

johndhi wrote:andrew Dale carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is the classic in this arena.

general self help stuff (tony robbins being the king here) is also a good idea and is generally applicable.

these days, a lot of confidence building sort of stuff is marketed as pickup-artist material.

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stillwater
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby stillwater » Sat May 04, 2013 7:50 pm

CO2016YEAH wrote:
johndhi wrote:andrew Dale carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is the classic in this arena.

general self help stuff (tony robbins being the king here) is also a good idea and is generally applicable.

these days, a lot of confidence building sort of stuff is marketed as pickup-artist material.


Andrew Carnegie was too busy being an oligarch to write books about winning people, ole Drew just BOUGHT people

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unlicensedpotato
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby unlicensedpotato » Sat May 04, 2013 8:05 pm

BlueDiamond wrote:I'm actually surprised that this thread has been well received.. number one can be fixed with some work, but I'm of the opinion that number 2 is not something that can be picked up in a book.. sure you can fake extroversion for a cocktail party or a meeting if you want, but honestly if it isn't your personality you'll either fail miserably at trying to pull if off or will manage to pull it off and then regret it down the line when people expect you to always be "that guy" or "that girl" in every social situation


You're ignoring the middle ground between socially awkward/annoying and "that girl." Most people just need to relax a little, be friendly, ask questions. Doesn't mean you're the life of the party. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be the life of the party among lawyers, the people that are suck. But you can definitely learn how to get through stuff and be "normal."

OP - I would recommend exposure therapy for #2. My first CB's and holiday parties over winter break I was incredibly nervous and hated every second. Try and go to things that you don't care about how it goes first, if you can. After a few of them, you realize that it's not life or death and can be comfortable just being yourself (or an altered, more sociable version of yourself)

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rinkrat19
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby rinkrat19 » Sat May 04, 2013 8:10 pm

We had a 1L etiquette dinner at NU and I was frankly surprised with how bad some people's table manners were. Some of it was just "never learned that" (like water glass v. wine glass), but everyone should know not to grip their fork in their fist like a trowel and that you need a napkin in your lap.

So if you're in any doubt about your ability to sit down in a Michelin star restaurant and get all the little rules right, an Emily Post book is a good idea.
Last edited by rinkrat19 on Sat May 04, 2013 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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stillwater
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby stillwater » Sat May 04, 2013 8:22 pm

rinkrat19 wrote:We had a 1L etiquette dinner at NU and I was frankly surprised with how bad some people's table manners were. Some of it was just "never learned that" (like water glass v. wine glass), but everyone should know not to grip their fork in their fist like a trowel and that you need a napkin in your lap.

So if you're in any doubt, the Emily Post book is a good idea.


I love the fork in fist move - love in the sense I laugh to myself when I see someone do it- because it looks so primitive like they've slain the meat themselves.

Green Crayons
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby Green Crayons » Sun May 05, 2013 11:13 am

This read (LinkRemoved) is all you need.

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LaMuSayonga
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby LaMuSayonga » Sun May 05, 2013 11:41 am

I kind of like Quiet by Susan Cain. Not exactly a how-to-be-social guide, but it can be helpful with regards to "faking" extroversion, or at least making the most of being an introvert.

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Scotusnerd
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby Scotusnerd » Sun May 05, 2013 11:59 am

Tagging. This is good stuff.

Agent
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby Agent » Sun May 05, 2013 8:03 pm

Amusing.

Green Crayons wrote:This read (LinkRemoved) is all you need.

rad lulz
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Re: Don't laugh.

Postby rad lulz » Sun May 05, 2013 8:13 pm

stillwater wrote:
rinkrat19 wrote:We had a 1L etiquette dinner at NU and I was frankly surprised with how bad some people's table manners were. Some of it was just "never learned that" (like water glass v. wine glass), but everyone should know not to grip their fork in their fist like a trowel and that you need a napkin in your lap.

So if you're in any doubt, the Emily Post book is a good idea.


I love the fork in fist move - love in the sense I laugh to myself when I see someone do it- because it looks so primitive like they've slain the meat themselves.

lold




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