Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

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Keep in touch with the other summers?

Suck it up and start talking to them again
17
81%
Delete them off FB/phone/linkedin etc and move on
3
14%
Some other option that I will explain in the thread
1
5%
 
Total votes: 21

Anonymous User
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Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Nov 30, 2012 2:55 pm

I know there's a couple other people here that got no offered. Have you stayed in touch with the rest of your summer class? My class was small - 6 other people. We were pretty close and all got along really well. I'm still friends with all of them on Facebook but I haven't talked to a single one since the day offers went out and I didn't get one.

It's been a couple months so I've mostly gotten over the embarrassment and shame and depression but is there any hope at salvaging these relationships? I don't have a job yet so I just feel like if I talked to them they would treat me with pity and awkwardness. I also have a little of my own jealousy and resentment towards them.

Just curious if I'm an aspie weirdo or if other people who got no offered are having the same problems

(since someone will ask - official reason given for no offer was for 2l grades/1 bad assignment. don't really want to go into more detail than that)

dixiecupdrinking
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby dixiecupdrinking » Fri Nov 30, 2012 3:18 pm

If you guys were friendly, then why not... always better to have a bigger network than a smaller one when you're looking for work, plus, you know, you're friends and that whole thing. Would be weirder to disappear I think.

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20160810
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby 20160810 » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:06 pm

If you have to ask, makes me wonder if the reason wasn't that you're weird. If you were buddies with your former SA bros, then stay buddies with them. If not, don't. There's not much to debate here.

Anonymous User
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:21 pm

Believe me, I've gone through wondering about all the reasons I may have been no offered and being weirder than I thought I was is one of them.

I don't live in the same city as any of the other summers so it's not like I could hang out with them, but sometimes I think about shooting them a text or something but then I think they're not going to want to talk to me because I'm a pariah now. Just wondering if any other no offered people knew that feel. Looks like not :(

09042014
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby 09042014 » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:27 pm

SBL wrote:If you have to ask, makes me wonder if the reason wasn't that you're weird. If you were buddies with your former SA bros, then stay buddies with them. If not, don't. There's not much to debate here.


Yep. 2l grades / 1 bad assignment = personality ding unless they dinged a huge portion of the summer class. Maybe if your 2L grades were really damn terrible.

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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:29 pm

You aren't a pariah, but you do sound like an aspie weirdo (no offense! you said it). They probably just feel bad for you for getting no offered. I don't see any reason to defriend them on facebook or linked in but if you aren't in the same city and aren't best buddies to begin with, why is this even a thing? Treat them like law school acquaintances that you don't mind and may reach out to at some point later in both of your careers.

Anonymous User
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:30 pm

I got no-offered and I basically don't hang out with or interact much with anyone who is employed. This includes people who got offers at my firm.

09042014
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby 09042014 » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:32 pm

In OP's defense, I'm sure getting no offered and dealing with those who did is awkward. A bro who got no offered at my firm reached out, and it was a little bit awkward. It's not aspie to fear this. OP should do it, but calling him aspie for fearing it, is too far.

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ScottRiqui
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby ScottRiqui » Fri Nov 30, 2012 6:03 pm

Desert Fox wrote:In OP's defense, I'm sure getting no offered and dealing with those who did is awkward. A bro who got no offered at my firm reached out, and it was a little bit awkward. It's not aspie to fear this. OP should do it, but calling him aspie for fearing it, is too far.


I see this all the time in the military. You have a peer group that you start out with, and for the first few years, you're all pretty much doing the same kinds of jobs in pretty much the same places, and all getting promoted together. Then you hit a point where some get promoted while others don't, or some get selected for department head or commanding officer billets while others don't. At that point, you start running in different circles and living different lives. If you were really close to someone from the start, you tend to keep in touch even after the group splinters. But mere acquaintances drift apart pretty quickly.

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20160810
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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby 20160810 » Fri Nov 30, 2012 6:38 pm

Desert Fox wrote:In OP's defense, I'm sure getting no offered and dealing with those who did is awkward. A bro who got no offered at my firm reached out, and it was a little bit awkward. It's not aspie to fear this. OP should do it, but calling him aspie for fearing it, is too far.

I agree that it's a weird situation, but speaking as someone who got no-offered, it's just a job. If someone was your buddy before you didn't get the job, they're probably still your buddy. It's definitely not the time to reach out and start "networking" with your old SA buds, but by all means text the guy and grab a beer once in a while. Definitely seems weird that this had to be asked.

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Re: Staying in touch with other summers after your no offer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:04 pm

SBL wrote:
Desert Fox wrote:In OP's defense, I'm sure getting no offered and dealing with those who did is awkward. A bro who got no offered at my firm reached out, and it was a little bit awkward. It's not aspie to fear this. OP should do it, but calling him aspie for fearing it, is too far.

I agree that it's a weird situation, but speaking as someone who got no-offered, it's just a job. If someone was your buddy before you didn't get the job, they're probably still your buddy. It's definitely not the time to reach out and start "networking" with your old SA buds, but by all means text the guy and grab a beer once in a while. Definitely seems weird that this had to be asked.


Maybe that's my problem is that I'm not looking at it as "just a job." To me it feels like my whole future was ruined and everything I worked for went down the drain. I think it would be awkward to just grab a beer with one of the people connected to all those emotions.

Maybe it will be different when/if I actually get a job




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