KidStuddi wrote: IAFG wrote:
KidStuddi wrote:What? How would you ever know for sure without asking someone? Gossiping about people behind their back isn't really my style and seems far less socially acceptable than asking someone what their career plans are.
It seems awfully pretentious to assume that everyone who didn't land BigLaw is going to be embarrassed to talk about what they're doing 2L summer / what their career plans are. But I guess there are always assholes who'd rather pity everyone who doesn't make as much money as they do.
Well, I knew for sure my friend didn't strike out because I knew she had at least one offer. Fine to ask where she ended up.
The rest of your post was beyond stupid. I must pity people who make less than me? Why, because I have enough grace not to corner them about what might have been a failed attempt to get a certain kind of job? It doesn't really matter what I think about asking though. I don't decide what the faux pas are, convention does, and ignoring it because you have some idiotic rationalization is what makes you an asshole.
I'm not ignoring a social convention, I'm telling you what the social convention is. People talk about where they work and what they do.
I have been asked the question by at least two dozen people this fall. Including three of my professors from 1L. Are they all assholes for showing a polite interest in what I'll be doing with my life?
This is an absurd conversation.
Edit: I called you pretentious because you think you're doing them a favor by not asking them the question. And you clearly affirmed that. You actually think you're showing "grace" by not asking them a question because you're presuming they're going to be embarrassed by the answer. This is the logical equivalent of not asking someone where they're going to law school because you're not 100% sure they got into a t14 school. Believe it or not, this isn't a source of shame for everybody.
Do you also ask your classmates what their grades were? Cause that is a polite interest in their future career potential. Not asking them would be akin to showing them grace cause you are assuming they did not do too well.
As someone who struck out, it is absolutely not a source of shame. I have reached out for advice to many older students, and students in my year who I consider close friends. But, I get annoyed when a person who I do not know too well, makes that their first question... and they do it quite often.
Striking out is often an unfortunate turn of events for a student. It is worse to strike out, than to be at the very bottom of the class and get a job. There are students who get depressed about it... so yes, it is a territory that you must be careful around. In the same way that you must be careful with grades during 1L.
PS: your point about not asking which law school to go to because you know they are not at a t-14 also makes 0 sense imho. A student chooses to go to BC, Brooklyn, Temple, Hastings, Cooley or whatever non-T14 school out there. That is something that they can be proud of. They have the choice of not attending school all together. I did not choose to strike out. Strike out is not a second option like a lower ranked school might be to some people.