How awkward are offer dinners?

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Anonymous User
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How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:29 am

Not the large ones with many potentials summers, but the "just you & a bunch of attorneys" ones?

Will I be expected to drink? Is it kosher to order a beer/mixed drink as a female or should I stick to wine? (Do all the attorneys order wine anyway?)

Can people talk about their general experiences?

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bk1
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby bk1 » Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:35 am

Anonymous User wrote:Is it kosher to order a beer/mixed drink as a female or should I stick to wine?


You hit the nail on the head. Beer and cocktails are for the menfolk.

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monkey85
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby monkey85 » Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:36 am

So you have the offer and they are going to do an "intimate" dinner with just you and say 2 other attorneys?

If so, this is the strong-arm dinner where they try to get you wasted so that you say "i accept" - not necessarily a bad thing.

1. You can drink - while you don't want to puke, they will be gunning to get you tipsy/drunk enough that you accept.
2. You can ask anything you want - just mind yourself that, despite being "in charge" with an offer, these are still attorneys whom you may work with so don't be a jerk; they can easily turn the tables on you down the road.
3. Yes people can talk about their general experiences - but more likely they will ask you what you want in a firm, then say that the firm has that "learning culture" or "international presence" or "one firm feel" that you want.

Have a good time! These dinners and your SA are great times.

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Renne Walker
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby Renne Walker » Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:39 am

Anonymous User wrote:Not the large ones with many potentials summers, but the "just you & a bunch of attorneys" ones?

Will I be expected to drink? Is it kosher to order a beer/mixed drink as a female or should I stick to wine? (Do all the attorneys order wine anyway?)

Can people talk about their general experiences?

We had an offer party, where the new SAs attended (meet n' greet), but I have never heard of an offer dinner (unless you are saying dinner but mean group celebration).
Last edited by Renne Walker on Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Anonymous User
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:40 am

bk1 wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Is it kosher to order a beer/mixed drink as a female or should I stick to wine?


You hit the nail on the head. Beer and cocktails are for the menfolk.


OP here. Not sure if serious. One of my friends at school told me not to order beer at one of these things. Did I get trolled?

Also, by intimate I just meant that I think I am the only potential summer going (my firm has a very small summer class). How many partners and associates should I expect to meet? My invite just said "some attorneys."

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bk1
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby bk1 » Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:57 am

I don't see how your gender dictates the kinds of things you should or should not drink. The simplest rule is just to follow the attorneys. If they grab a drink, get one too. If they don't then don't. If they encourage you to (but don't themselves) then you're probably safe having one since you already have an offer in hand, though of course don't get drunk.

Be a normal person, have a good time, and try to get a feel for if you'd want to work at the firm. It's not that complicated.

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IAFG
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby IAFG » Tue Oct 02, 2012 2:53 am

Renne Walker wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Not the large ones with many potentials summers, but the "just you & a bunch of attorneys" ones?

Will I be expected to drink? Is it kosher to order a beer/mixed drink as a female or should I stick to wine? (Do all the attorneys order wine anyway?)

Can people talk about their general experiences?

We had an offer party, where the new SAs attended (meet n' greet), but I have never heard of an offer dinner (unless you are saying dinner but mean group celebration).

They're quite common. TYL.

goodolgil
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby goodolgil » Tue Oct 02, 2012 3:26 am

bk1 wrote:I don't see how your gender dictates the kinds of things you should or should not drink. The simplest rule is just to follow the attorneys. If they grab a drink, get one too. If they don't then don't. If they encourage you to (but don't themselves) then you're probably safe having one since you already have an offer in hand, though of course don't get drunk.

Be a normal person, have a good time, and try to get a feel for if you'd want to work at the firm. It's not that complicated.


It's a dinner. You can get a drink no matter what.

dixiecupdrinking
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby dixiecupdrinking » Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:36 am

Congratulations! You have an offer. Now the firm is trying to sell you. Relax, keep your behavior within normal acceptable limits, and think about whether you want to spend a summer + 2-5 years working with these people. It's not a trap.

shock259
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby shock259 » Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:39 am

Relax and enjoy. Free food and drinks.

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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:49 am

monkey85 wrote:So you have the offer and they are going to do an "intimate" dinner with just you and say 2 other attorneys?

If so, this is the strong-arm dinner where they try to get you wasted so that you say "i accept" - not necessarily a bad thing.

1. You can drink - while you don't want to puke, they will be gunning to get you tipsy/drunk enough that you accept.
2. You can ask anything you want - just mind yourself that, despite being "in charge" with an offer, these are still attorneys whom you may work with so don't be a jerk; they can easily turn the tables on you down the road.
3. Yes people can talk about their general experiences - but more likely they will ask you what you want in a firm, then say that the firm has that "learning culture" or "international presence" or "one firm feel" that you want.

Have a good time! These dinners and your SA are great times.


So I had three of these dinners recently, and here is a bit about my experience. At all three, one attorney asked if I liked wine, to which I said yes, and he ordered a bottle or two, solving that sometimes awkward problem. About the only question I was asked by all three was "how are you going to go about making your decision." Basically they are wanting to know what they can tell you to convince you to join their firm. They also all asked if I had any questions I was afraid to ask during the interview period. Overall, they were all enjoyable experiences, with not much pressure.

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bk1
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Re: How awkward are offer dinners?

Postby bk1 » Tue Oct 02, 2012 10:34 am

goodolgil wrote:It's a dinner. You can get a drink no matter what.


I don't disagree, but if OP is really that worried about it.




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