Bad Interview Moments

(On Campus Interviews, Summer Associate positions, Firm Reviews, Tips, ...)
Forum rules
Anonymous Posting

Anonymous posting is only appropriate when you are revealing sensitive employment related information about a firm, job, etc. You may anonymously respond on topic to these threads. Unacceptable uses include: harassing another user, joking around, testing the feature, or other things that are more appropriate in the lounge.

Failure to follow these rules will get you outed, warned, or banned.
Anonymous User
Posts: 273099
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:26 pm

fats provolone wrote:BECAUSE MATH HEEHEE

Yeah, I've been in this situation before, and the odds of them all saying yes are low. The most likely outcome is they'll also do the math, and then all decline so you get to enjoy the bread without feeling bad about it. If you're nervous while eating that much food you only experience the getting fat process and lose out on the pleasure. It's like getting an STD after a really awkward encounter.

User avatar
fats provolone
Posts: 7125
Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:44 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby fats provolone » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:29 pm

you just pass the fucking basket and if everyone wants bread and you run out someone asks the waitress hey can we get some more bread jesus christ

AReasonableMan
Posts: 1504
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 9:32 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby AReasonableMan » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:33 pm

fats provolone wrote:you just pass the fucking basket and if everyone wants bread and you run out someone asks the waitress hey can we get some more bread jesus christ
Last edited by AReasonableMan on Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
pancakes3
Posts: 3891
Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2014 2:49 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby pancakes3 » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:40 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
fats provolone wrote:you just pass the fucking basket and if everyone wants bread and you run out someone asks the waitress hey can we get some more bread jesus christ

would it not be just as awkward to preemptively hand the person next to you your plate of food?


No?

User avatar
PennBull
Posts: 15361
Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 4:59 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby PennBull » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:40 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
fats provolone wrote:you just pass the fucking basket and if everyone wants bread and you run out someone asks the waitress hey can we get some more bread jesus christ

would it not be just as awkward to preemptively hand the person next to you your plate of food?


hahahah what the fuck

User avatar
lymenheimer
Posts: 3482
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2015 1:54 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby lymenheimer » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:43 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
fats provolone wrote:you just pass the fucking basket and if everyone wants bread and you run out someone asks the waitress hey can we get some more bread jesus christ

would it not be just as awkward to preemptively hand the person next to you your plate of food?


Offer left, pass right. Or is it offer right, pass left?

User avatar
fats provolone
Posts: 7125
Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:44 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby fats provolone » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:43 pm

have you people ever interacted with humans before

User avatar
pancakes3
Posts: 3891
Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2014 2:49 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby pancakes3 » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:47 pm

God, I love this shitty lunch story. It's the perfect aspie litmus test. It should be part of the diagnosis process.

AReasonableMan
Posts: 1504
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 9:32 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby AReasonableMan » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:53 pm

q
Last edited by AReasonableMan on Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Danger Zone
Posts: 7299
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:36 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Danger Zone » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:57 pm

fats provolone wrote:have you people ever interacted with humans before

This page is concerning

Also the worst offenders are hiding behind anon

User avatar
Desert Fox
Progressively loosing literacy
Posts: 14376
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:34 pm

DFTHREAD

Postby Desert Fox » Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:04 pm

Image
Last edited by Desert Fox on Wed Jan 06, 2016 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NotMyRealName09
Posts: 1394
Joined: Mon Nov 09, 2009 5:50 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby NotMyRealName09 » Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:22 pm

In the world I wish I lived in, walleye guy up there would have capped off his story thusly:

Having devoured my family meal, I was fittingly bloated and felt nature's call rolling down the turnpike. I placed my fork and knife gently on my plate in a cross to indicate to the meal-servant that my lunch was complete (a gesture lost on the lowly waitstaff yet appreciated by my compatriots as a sign of proper breeding). I then arose, yet when my companions followed I bade them to alight into their seats as I simultaneously signaled for coffees all-around. As I retired to the commode for a liberating, indulgent, two-flush twenty-three minute evacuation, I smiled as I imagined the immense delight my sure-to-be-future-peers will feel as they regale their friends and loved ones with the tale of the 1L who both did not give, and then boldly took, a shit on that beautiful summer day.

As I exited the rest room, my escorts' eyes were fixated upon me. As I met their gaze, the senior partner, who had, to this point, been silent, slowly wiped away a tear from her eye, then began a slow clap, more tears welling up in her eyes as the pace of her applause quickened, until she was openly weeping and unable to keep her head up, though she continued clapping with greater vigor and with her hands over her head, and she was soon joined by the remainder of my peers, then the rest of the restaurant, as they all slowly realized that on this day, they had seen a mere juris doctor candidate transcend the label of "summer associate" and enter that hallowed realm of "dog days legend."

Offer.

User avatar
Monochromatic Oeuvre
Posts: 1928
Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 9:40 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Monochromatic Oeuvre » Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:22 pm

I'm really confused by the logic of "There's fewer pieces of bread than people, therefore I shouldn't offer anyone bread even though I have a lot and no one else has any."

Jesus, have you people ever been out to a meal before?

Anonymous User
Posts: 273099
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:01 pm

q

blsingindisguise
Posts: 1296
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:08 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby blsingindisguise » Wed Dec 09, 2015 11:42 pm

I had an interview where I completely blanked out on the softest of softball questions (with the senior partner): "What was your favorite class in law school?" -- I was a few years out and no longer in the mindset of thinking about such things. I literally just couldn't come up with an answer at all. The senior partner (who was like 70) then proceeded to launch into a detailed flashback about some esoteric aspect of his HYS contracts class. I got an offer anyway, which I declined.

User avatar
Br3v
Posts: 4174
Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2011 7:18 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Br3v » Thu Dec 10, 2015 12:08 am

Could have done without the last 3 words though

User avatar
EzraFitz
Posts: 567
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:42 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby EzraFitz » Thu Dec 10, 2015 11:40 am

NotMyRealName09 wrote:In the world I wish I lived in, walleye guy up there would have capped off his story thusly:

Having devoured my family meal, I was fittingly bloated and felt nature's call rolling down the turnpike. I placed my fork and knife gently on my plate in a cross to indicate to the meal-servant that my lunch was complete (a gesture lost on the lowly waitstaff yet appreciated by my compatriots as a sign of proper breeding). I then arose, yet when my companions followed I bade them to alight into their seats as I simultaneously signaled for coffees all-around. As I retired to the commode for a liberating, indulgent, two-flush twenty-three minute evacuation, I smiled as I imagined the immense delight my sure-to-be-future-peers will feel as they regale their friends and loved ones with the tale of the 1L who both did not give, and then boldly took, a shit on that beautiful summer day.

As I exited the rest room, my escorts' eyes were fixated upon me. As I met their gaze, the senior partner, who had, to this point, been silent, slowly wiped away a tear from her eye, then began a slow clap, more tears welling up in her eyes as the pace of her applause quickened, until she was openly weeping and unable to keep her head up, though she continued clapping with greater vigor and with her hands over her head, and she was soon joined by the remainder of my peers, then the rest of the restaurant, as they all slowly realized that on this day, they had seen a mere juris doctor candidate transcend the label of "summer associate" and enter that hallowed realm of "dog days legend."

Offer.

I wanted to laugh at this, but the whole time couldn't get over this being wrong. Cross is resting, parallel is complete. Maybe that was the point, maybe I'm a douche, who knows?

blsingindisguise wrote:I had an interview where I completely blanked out on the softest of softball questions (with the senior partner): "What was your favorite class in law school?" -- I was a few years out and no longer in the mindset of thinking about such things. I literally just couldn't come up with an answer at all. The senior partner (who was like 70) then proceeded to launch into a detailed flashback about some esoteric aspect of his HYS contracts class. I got an offer anyway, which I declined.

This reminds me of an interview my 1L fall for the summer, when I was asked my favorite class. I freaked out and said a class I was going to be taking in the spring, and talked at length about it. Interviewer kept glancing between my transcript and me the entire time I was talking.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273099
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Dec 10, 2015 12:25 pm

Br3v wrote:Could have done without the last 3 words though


Well I got another offer and took that instead -- same pay, better commute, better fit, less prestige but better work/life balance. Or do you mean I'm rubbing it in.

User avatar
Kratos
Posts: 6755
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2014 3:50 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Kratos » Thu Dec 10, 2015 3:10 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Br3v wrote:Could have done without the last 3 words though


Well I got another offer and took that instead -- same pay, better commute, better fit, less prestige but better work/life balance. Or do you mean I'm rubbing it in.

it means it was useless to the story. as was what you included in this post.

patentlitigatrix
Posts: 527
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2015 2:18 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby patentlitigatrix » Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:08 pm

Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:I'm really confused by the logic of "There's fewer pieces of bread than people, therefore I shouldn't offer anyone bread even though I have a lot and no one else has any."

Jesus, have you people ever been out to a meal before?


I am sure someone will disagree, but if you behave like a human at a business-related meal, you are generally fine (i.e., not spilling food everywhere, put your napkin on your lap, sit with reasonable posture, engage in conversation). No one really cares about the teensy archaic etiquette rules.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273099
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:46 am

patentlitigatrix wrote:
Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:I'm really confused by the logic of "There's fewer pieces of bread than people, therefore I shouldn't offer anyone bread even though I have a lot and no one else has any."

Jesus, have you people ever been out to a meal before?


I am sure someone will disagree, but if you behave like a human at a business-related meal, you are generally fine (i.e., not spilling food everywhere, put your napkin on your lap, sit with reasonable posture, engage in conversation). No one really cares about the teensy archaic etiquette rules.

I failed even that basic test when I knocked water all over myself and the table at a dinner after the initial interview. Still got a callback.

ballouttacontrol
Posts: 502
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:00 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby ballouttacontrol » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:57 am

Anonymous User wrote:
patentlitigatrix wrote:
Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:I'm really confused by the logic of "There's fewer pieces of bread than people, therefore I shouldn't offer anyone bread even though I have a lot and no one else has any."

Jesus, have you people ever been out to a meal before?


I am sure someone will disagree, but if you behave like a human at a business-related meal, you are generally fine (i.e., not spilling food everywhere, put your napkin on your lap, sit with reasonable posture, engage in conversation). No one really cares about the teensy archaic etiquette rules.

I failed even that basic test when I knocked water all over myself and the table at a dinner after the initial interview. Still got a callback.


Dropped sopping ass sushi all over myself at a CB lunch because I felt pressured into using chopsticks because everyone else at the table (each white) was using chopsticks like fucking jackie chan and I suck at using chopsticks.

No offer and a stained $50 tie.

lawman84
Posts: 3254
Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 5:01 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby lawman84 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:35 am

ballouttacontrol wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
patentlitigatrix wrote:
Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:I'm really confused by the logic of "There's fewer pieces of bread than people, therefore I shouldn't offer anyone bread even though I have a lot and no one else has any."

Jesus, have you people ever been out to a meal before?


I am sure someone will disagree, but if you behave like a human at a business-related meal, you are generally fine (i.e., not spilling food everywhere, put your napkin on your lap, sit with reasonable posture, engage in conversation). No one really cares about the teensy archaic etiquette rules.

I failed even that basic test when I knocked water all over myself and the table at a dinner after the initial interview. Still got a callback.


Dropped sopping ass sushi all over myself at a CB lunch because I felt pressured into using chopsticks because everyone else at the table (each white) was using chopsticks like fucking jackie chan and I suck at using chopsticks.

No offer and a stained $50 tie.


I didn't think people actually cared about that stuff. I always use a fork or my hands when eating sushi. Way too inept with chopsticks. This is America. In America, we use forks (when in public so people don't see us using our hands).

ballouttacontrol
Posts: 502
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:00 pm

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby ballouttacontrol » Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:06 am

lawman84 wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
patentlitigatrix wrote:
Monochromatic Oeuvre wrote:I'm really confused by the logic of "There's fewer pieces of bread than people, therefore I shouldn't offer anyone bread even though I have a lot and no one else has any."

Jesus, have you people ever been out to a meal before?


I am sure someone will disagree, but if you behave like a human at a business-related meal, you are generally fine (i.e., not spilling food everywhere, put your napkin on your lap, sit with reasonable posture, engage in conversation). No one really cares about the teensy archaic etiquette rules.

I failed even that basic test when I knocked water all over myself and the table at a dinner after the initial interview. Still got a callback.


Dropped sopping ass sushi all over myself at a CB lunch because I felt pressured into using chopsticks because everyone else at the table (each white) was using chopsticks like fucking jackie chan and I suck at using chopsticks.

No offer and a stained $50 tie.


I didn't think people actually cared about that stuff. I always use a fork or my hands when eating sushi. Way too inept with chopsticks. This is America. In America, we use forks (when in public so people don't see us using our hands).


lol i doubt they would have.. they were prob the 2nd worst pair of associates i ever had to do a lunch interview with though. helllla awkward. well, only the more senior one actually, but the stub year was acting all timid and shit too around him. the restaurant/waitress was also hella asain so it seemed like it'd be a pain in the ass to ask

BK88
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:05 am

Re: Bad Interview Moments

Postby BK88 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:54 am

Interview for semester paid in house part time position at a major finance company. Spent several hours researching it, still could not figure out their business model (zero financial background - knew a guy who hooked me up with the interview), figured screw it. Took down detailed notes and went into the interview.

After a few preliminary questions they said "Ok, what do you know about our organization and what we do?" I pulled out this single page of yellow legal pad paper totally filled with scribbles that i'm sure were illegible to anyone else and said "well, i honestly have no idea, but this is what I could figure out" and just started talking.

The senior in house counsels mix of horror and annoyance was actually kind of funny.




Return to “Legal Employment”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.