Bad Interview Moments Forum
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
In the middle of an interview last week and my interviewer gets a text from his wife that her water broke. I screamed so...probably not getting hired lol.
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
You... screamed? So like did he describe the text to you and then you just AHHHHAlly Mcbeal wrote:In the middle of an interview last week and my interviewer gets a text from his wife that her water broke. I screamed so...probably not getting hired lol.
Last edited by Danger Zone on Sat Jan 27, 2018 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- totesTheGoat
- Posts: 947
- Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:32 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
Curious as well... was this a "oh, i'm excited for you" yip, or was it a "that's horrifying" screech?Danger Zone wrote:You... screamed? So like did he describe the text to you and then you just AHHHHAlly Mcbeal wrote:In the middle of an interview last week and my interviewer gets a text from his wife that her water broke. I screamed so...probably not getting hired lol.
- rpupkin
- Posts: 5653
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
Great story. On the bright side, your screaming is probably low on the list of things that the interviewer will remember from that day. Also, he probably bolted from the office and thus didn't have time to submit an eval of your interview.Ally Mcbeal wrote:In the middle of an interview last week and my interviewer gets a text from his wife that her water broke. I screamed so...probably not getting hired lol.
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
I basically was like "OMG!" and then excitedly (probably overly) congratulated him. Not like I shrieked or anything.Danger Zone wrote:You... screamed? So like did he describe the text to you and then you just AHHHHAlly Mcbeal wrote:In the middle of an interview last week and my interviewer gets a text from his wife that her water broke. I screamed so...probably not getting hired lol.
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
I had something much more hilarious going down in my head but that sounds like a normal reaction for a girl to have.
Last edited by Danger Zone on Sat Jan 27, 2018 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
It probably could have been worse, but it was just so random. Also semi-awkward because another attorney took over for him and so I had to continue on with the interview as if nothing happened.Danger Zone wrote:I had something much more hilarious going down in my head but that sounds like a normal reaction for a girl to have.
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
Can't decide if this was bad:
Have pittsburgh sports fan on resume. AM fan, but it was early monday and hadn't watched the game on sunday or read about it. Interviewer says "how about rothelesburger" who had just had season ending injury. I dislike the player, since he's a rapist, and gave sort of a dissapointed "yeah...." and we moved on to have a lovely interview otherewise.
This is an honors program so I've had plenty of time to stew on this. Bad?
Have pittsburgh sports fan on resume. AM fan, but it was early monday and hadn't watched the game on sunday or read about it. Interviewer says "how about rothelesburger" who had just had season ending injury. I dislike the player, since he's a rapist, and gave sort of a dissapointed "yeah...." and we moved on to have a lovely interview otherewise.
This is an honors program so I've had plenty of time to stew on this. Bad?
- baal hadad
- Posts: 3167
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
Not at all a horror storyAnonymous User wrote:Can't decide if this was bad:
Have pittsburgh sports fan on resume. AM fan, but it was early monday and hadn't watched the game on sunday or read about it. Interviewer says "how about rothelesburger" who had just had season ending injury. I dislike the player, since he's a rapist, and gave sort of a dissapointed "yeah...." and we moved on to have a lovely interview otherewise.
This is an honors program so I've had plenty of time to stew on this. Bad?
- Old Gregg
- Posts: 5409
- Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:26 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
We are here to revel in bad interview stories, not help you cope with your insecurities.Anonymous User wrote:Can't decide if this was bad:
Have pittsburgh sports fan on resume. AM fan, but it was early monday and hadn't watched the game on sunday or read about it. Interviewer says "how about rothelesburger" who had just had season ending injury. I dislike the player, since he's a rapist, and gave sort of a dissapointed "yeah...." and we moved on to have a lovely interview otherewise.
This is an honors program so I've had plenty of time to stew on this. Bad?
- El Pollito
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
Weird anonybrag
- rpupkin
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
Yeah, I was waiting for the part where the interviewee called out the interviewer for supporting a rapist. That would've been thread-worthy. But instead we just got a story about a "lovely interview." Not cool, anon.El Pollito wrote:Weird anonybrag
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
If all of your SA is a job interview, as is the common wisdom, then this lunch during my 1L SA should count. General background: It's a small but well-respected firm where I'd really like to get a job. The partners are laid-back but very intelligent and sophisticated, as well as at least somewhat judgmental. They're looking for a personality fit and similar traits. They hire 1L SA's because they only offer about one SA every 7 years, on average. My law school OCI director told me it's the best job that comes to campus in terms of pay vs. hours worked. The point? I want this job. Interview, check, callback, done, two weeks of summer OCI go great, and then...today.
It's a June day with perfect weather, and the partners are particularly talkative. Owing to that and sheer caprice and coincidence with various schedules, we head to lunch with a large group for us: three partners, two senior associates, and me. We're in the firm lobby, shooting the shit about where to go to lunch, and an "important" call comes for someone, then another, and then everyone (still in good spirits) decides we all just need to leave because we're 20 minutes late to lunch and fucking hungry. We hop in a partner's Yukon and hightail it to the outskirts of town, just for the hell of it, where we go to what is basically a truck stop / diner that is known to have great comfort food. It's packed, like 200 people in there. We find a table, and on the way I notice a chalkboard with SPECIAL at the top and several listings, too many to read as we quickly walk by. I do, however, notice at the very bottom there is listed: 2-pc Walleye with sides - $x.xx.
Now, I've always been a believer that you should order the special when you're out to lunch in this type of situation. I mean, it's the special, what could go wrong? It's all ready, it won't take long, they won't screw it up, and you won't stand out for ordering something strange. Besides, walleye sounded great. What a perfect day. Everyone in a great mood, going to this cool greasy spoon off the beaten path, laughing about it, and I ordered the special.
Well, shit. You know where this is heading.
The first problem is when the waitress nearly immediately brings the bread. Not bread for the table, but bread in a basket for one and handed directly to me. Despite the small basket, it's way too much bread. Like four hot wheat rolls with butter. Well, I'm cutting into the bread because goddamnit I'm going to eat whatever I get because IT'S THE SPECIAL, and all the lawyers are talking about real lawyer stuff and I'm trying to get in a word to offer this delicious hot pile of starch to other people. Then I realize that I don't have enough bread for everyone to get one, so this could get really awkward. So I'm eating bread. And the lawyers are talking. And looking at me. And talking. And I'm not offering anyone bread because they're talking and it's awkward and because math. But it's pretty good. And they're still looking at me because it's at least 45 minutes after everyone normally eats lunch and people are hungry.
Then comes a lengthy wait during which a few folks mention how busy it is and that they are hungry and could use some food. Alas, here comes the salad! Uh, turns out it's not for everyone. It's actually not for anyone else but me. Great, I love salad for lunch. So 90 seconds later the conversation between the real lawyers hits that awkward waiting-for-food lull when everyone has a conversation bubble above their heads that reads "I enjoyed that conversation, I guess, but I really want my french dip," and the managing partner breaks the silence by loudly asking me, with a special artificial, trochaic joviality reserved for cynical career litigators, "HOW'S the SAL-ad?" And I'm thinking "IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT" but I really just kind of meekly shrug and mutter, "Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, I think it's got homemade ranch." Silence. "And the tomatoes are ... beautiful." *poke at a cherry tomato* *fucking poke, poke, roll, look around* *shitthey'restilllookingatme, poke, it rolllllls away, STAB, roll, pick that bitch up with fingers, om nom*
I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them. And the ranch and romaine and whatever. The next ten minutes are awesome for me. Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation. My eyes are open but my brain is saying, "Nap time, bitch."
Then the walleye comes. Two huge fillets with homemade creamy coleslaw on a 14" plate that dwarfs every other meal at the table. It's delicious. I eat it all. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to. I'm utterly stuffed after eating 52% of it, but I ordered this goddamned thing and I'm not going to be ungrateful on the firm's dime.
Moral of the story: Ordering the special for lunch at a greasy spoon is a good idea. Not noticing that you personally, individually ordered something under the "Family Dinner Special" heading at one of the most important lunches of your life is not such a good idea.
It's a June day with perfect weather, and the partners are particularly talkative. Owing to that and sheer caprice and coincidence with various schedules, we head to lunch with a large group for us: three partners, two senior associates, and me. We're in the firm lobby, shooting the shit about where to go to lunch, and an "important" call comes for someone, then another, and then everyone (still in good spirits) decides we all just need to leave because we're 20 minutes late to lunch and fucking hungry. We hop in a partner's Yukon and hightail it to the outskirts of town, just for the hell of it, where we go to what is basically a truck stop / diner that is known to have great comfort food. It's packed, like 200 people in there. We find a table, and on the way I notice a chalkboard with SPECIAL at the top and several listings, too many to read as we quickly walk by. I do, however, notice at the very bottom there is listed: 2-pc Walleye with sides - $x.xx.
Now, I've always been a believer that you should order the special when you're out to lunch in this type of situation. I mean, it's the special, what could go wrong? It's all ready, it won't take long, they won't screw it up, and you won't stand out for ordering something strange. Besides, walleye sounded great. What a perfect day. Everyone in a great mood, going to this cool greasy spoon off the beaten path, laughing about it, and I ordered the special.
Well, shit. You know where this is heading.
The first problem is when the waitress nearly immediately brings the bread. Not bread for the table, but bread in a basket for one and handed directly to me. Despite the small basket, it's way too much bread. Like four hot wheat rolls with butter. Well, I'm cutting into the bread because goddamnit I'm going to eat whatever I get because IT'S THE SPECIAL, and all the lawyers are talking about real lawyer stuff and I'm trying to get in a word to offer this delicious hot pile of starch to other people. Then I realize that I don't have enough bread for everyone to get one, so this could get really awkward. So I'm eating bread. And the lawyers are talking. And looking at me. And talking. And I'm not offering anyone bread because they're talking and it's awkward and because math. But it's pretty good. And they're still looking at me because it's at least 45 minutes after everyone normally eats lunch and people are hungry.
Then comes a lengthy wait during which a few folks mention how busy it is and that they are hungry and could use some food. Alas, here comes the salad! Uh, turns out it's not for everyone. It's actually not for anyone else but me. Great, I love salad for lunch. So 90 seconds later the conversation between the real lawyers hits that awkward waiting-for-food lull when everyone has a conversation bubble above their heads that reads "I enjoyed that conversation, I guess, but I really want my french dip," and the managing partner breaks the silence by loudly asking me, with a special artificial, trochaic joviality reserved for cynical career litigators, "HOW'S the SAL-ad?" And I'm thinking "IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT" but I really just kind of meekly shrug and mutter, "Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, I think it's got homemade ranch." Silence. "And the tomatoes are ... beautiful." *poke at a cherry tomato* *fucking poke, poke, roll, look around* *shitthey'restilllookingatme, poke, it rolllllls away, STAB, roll, pick that bitch up with fingers, om nom*
I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them. And the ranch and romaine and whatever. The next ten minutes are awesome for me. Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation. My eyes are open but my brain is saying, "Nap time, bitch."
Then the walleye comes. Two huge fillets with homemade creamy coleslaw on a 14" plate that dwarfs every other meal at the table. It's delicious. I eat it all. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to. I'm utterly stuffed after eating 52% of it, but I ordered this goddamned thing and I'm not going to be ungrateful on the firm's dime.
Moral of the story: Ordering the special for lunch at a greasy spoon is a good idea. Not noticing that you personally, individually ordered something under the "Family Dinner Special" heading at one of the most important lunches of your life is not such a good idea.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Wed Aug 17, 2016 11:40 am, edited 3 times in total.
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- rpupkin
- Posts: 5653
- Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:32 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
Anonymous User wrote:If all of your SA is a job interview, as is the common wisdom, then this lunch during my 1L SA should count. General background: It's a small but well-respected firm where I'd really like to get a job. The partners are laid-back but very intelligent and sophisticated, as well as at least somewhat judgmental. They're looking for a personality fit and similar traits. They hire 1L SA's because they only offer about one SA every 7 years, on average. My law school OCI director told me it's the best job that comes to campus in terms of pay vs. hours worked. The point? I want this job. Interview, check, callback, done, two weeks of summer OCI go great, and then...today.
It's a June day with perfect weather, and the partners are particularly talkative. Owing to that and sheer caprice and coincidence with various schedules, we head to lunch with a large group for us: three partners, two senior associates, and me. We're in the firm lobby, shooting the shit about where to go to lunch, and an "important" call comes for someone, then another, and then everyone (still in good spirits) decides we all just need to leave because we're 20 minutes late to lunch and fucking hungry. We hop in a partner's Yukon and hightail it to the outskirts of town, just for the hell of it, where we go to what is basically a truck stop / diner that is known to have great comfort food. It's packed, like 200 people in there. We find a table, and on the way I notice a chalkboard with SPECIAL at the top and several listings, too many to read as we quickly walk by. I do, however, notice at the very bottom there is listed: 2-pc Walleye with sides - $x.xx.
Now, I've always been a believer that you should order the special when you're out to lunch in this type of situation. I mean, it's the special, what could go wrong? It's all ready, it won't take long, they won't screw it up, and you won't stand out for ordering something strange. Besides, walleye sounded great. What a perfect day. Everyone in a great mood, going to this cool greasy spoon off the beaten path, laughing about it, and I ordered the special.
Well, shit. You know where this is heading.
The first problem is when the waitress nearly immediately brings the bread. Not bread for the table, but bread in a basket for one and handed directly to me. Despite the small basket, it's way too much bread. Like four hot wheat rolls with butter. Well, I'm cutting into the bread because goddamnit I'm going to eat whatever I get because IT'S THE SPECIAL, and all the lawyers are talking about real lawyer stuff and I'm trying to get in a word to offer this delicious hot pile of starch to other people. Then I realize that I don't have enough bread for everyone to get one, so this could get really awkward. So I'm eating bread. And the lawyers are talking. And looking at me. And talking. And I'm not offering anyone bread because they're talking and it's awkward and because math. But it's pretty good. And they're still looking at me because it's at least 45 minutes after everyone normally eats lunch and people are hungry.
Then comes a lengthy wait during which a few folks mention how busy it is and that they are hungry and could use some food. Alas, here comes the salad! Uh, turns out it's not for everyone. It's actually not for anyone else but me. Great, I love salad for lunch. So 90 seconds later the conversation between the real lawyers hits that awkward waiting-for-food lull when everyone has a conversation bubble above their heads that reads "I enjoyed that conversation, I guess, but I really want my french dip," and the managing partner breaks the silence by loudly asking me, with a special artificial, trochaic joviality reserved for cynical career litigators, "HOW'S the SAL-ad?" And I'm thinking "IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT" but I really just kind of meekly shrug and mutter, "Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, I think it's got homemade ranch." Silence. "And the tomatoes are ... beautiful." *poke at a cherry tomato* *fucking poke, poke, roll, look around* *shitthey'restilllookingatme, poke, roll, pick that bitch up with fingers, om nom*
I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them. And the ranch and romaine and whatever. The next ten minutes are awesome for me. Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation. My eyes are open but my brain is saying, "Nap time, bitch."
Then the walleye comes. Two huge fillets with homemade creamy coleslaw on a 14" plate that dwarfs every other meal at the table. It's delicious. I eat it all. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to. I'm utterly stuffed after eating 52% of it, but I ordered this goddamned thing and I'm not going to be ungrateful on the firm's dime.
Moral of the story: Ordering the special for lunch at a greasy spoon is a good idea. Not noticing that you personally, individually ordered something under the "Family Dinner Special" heading at one of the most important lunches of your life is not such a good idea.
- WokeUpInACar
- Posts: 5542
- Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:11 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
I kept waiting for the punchline, but it never came. You owe me 3 minutes of my life back.Anonymous User wrote:If all of your SA is a job interview, as is the common wisdom, then this lunch during my 1L SA should count. General background: It's a small but well-respected firm where I'd really like to get a job. The partners are laid-back but very intelligent and sophisticated, as well as at least somewhat judgmental. They're looking for a personality fit and similar traits. They hire 1L SA's because they only offer about one SA every 7 years, on average. My law school OCI director told me it's the best job that comes to campus in terms of pay vs. hours worked. The point? I want this job. Interview, check, callback, done, two weeks of summer OCI go great, and then...today.
It's a June day with perfect weather, and the partners are particularly talkative. Owing to that and sheer caprice and coincidence with various schedules, we head to lunch with a large group for us: three partners, two senior associates, and me. We're in the firm lobby, shooting the shit about where to go to lunch, and an "important" call comes for someone, then another, and then everyone (still in good spirits) decides we all just need to leave because we're 20 minutes late to lunch and fucking hungry. We hop in a partner's Yukon and hightail it to the outskirts of town, just for the hell of it, where we go to what is basically a truck stop / diner that is known to have great comfort food. It's packed, like 200 people in there. We find a table, and on the way I notice a chalkboard with SPECIAL at the top and several listings, too many to read as we quickly walk by. I do, however, notice at the very bottom there is listed: 2-pc Walleye with sides - $x.xx.
Now, I've always been a believer that you should order the special when you're out to lunch in this type of situation. I mean, it's the special, what could go wrong? It's all ready, it won't take long, they won't screw it up, and you won't stand out for ordering something strange. Besides, walleye sounded great. What a perfect day. Everyone in a great mood, going to this cool greasy spoon off the beaten path, laughing about it, and I ordered the special.
Well, shit. You know where this is heading.
The first problem is when the waitress nearly immediately brings the bread. Not bread for the table, but bread in a basket for one and handed directly to me. Despite the small basket, it's way too much bread. Like four hot wheat rolls with butter. Well, I'm cutting into the bread because goddamnit I'm going to eat whatever I get because IT'S THE SPECIAL, and all the lawyers are talking about real lawyer stuff and I'm trying to get in a word to offer this delicious hot pile of starch to other people. Then I realize that I don't have enough bread for everyone to get one, so this could get really awkward. So I'm eating bread. And the lawyers are talking. And looking at me. And talking. And I'm not offering anyone bread because they're talking and it's awkward and because math. But it's pretty good. And they're still looking at me because it's at least 45 minutes after everyone normally eats lunch and people are hungry.
Then comes a lengthy wait during which a few folks mention how busy it is and that they are hungry and could use some food. Alas, here comes the salad! Uh, turns out it's not for everyone. It's actually not for anyone else but me. Great, I love salad for lunch. So 90 seconds later the conversation between the real lawyers hits that awkward waiting-for-food lull when everyone has a conversation bubble above their heads that reads "I enjoyed that conversation, I guess, but I really want my french dip," and the managing partner breaks the silence by loudly asking me, with a special artificial, trochaic joviality reserved for cynical career litigators, "HOW'S the SAL-ad?" And I'm thinking "IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT" but I really just kind of meekly shrug and mutter, "Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, I think it's got homemade ranch." Silence. "And the tomatoes are ... beautiful." *poke at a cherry tomato* *fucking poke, poke, roll, look around* *shitthey'restilllookingatme, poke, it rolllllls away, STAB, roll, pick that bitch up with fingers, om nom*
I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them. And the ranch and romaine and whatever. The next ten minutes are awesome for me. Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation. My eyes are open but my brain is saying, "Nap time, bitch."
Then the walleye comes. Two huge fillets with homemade creamy coleslaw on a 14" plate that dwarfs every other meal at the table. It's delicious. I eat it all. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to. I'm utterly stuffed after eating 52% of it, but I ordered this goddamned thing and I'm not going to be ungrateful on the firm's dime.
Moral of the story: Ordering the special for lunch at a greasy spoon is a good idea. Not noticing that you personally, individually ordered something under the "Family Dinner Special" heading at one of the most important lunches of your life is not such a good idea.
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
Sorry, homie, you don't always get a punchline. You weren't promised comedy, just awkwardness.
- WokeUpInACar
- Posts: 5542
- Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:11 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
It's like, only mildly awkward and could have been described in about one paragraph instead of 8.Anonymous User wrote:Sorry, homie, you don't always get a punchline. You weren't promised comedy, just awkwardness.
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
My bad, what I meant to post is: I ordered a big meal at lunch once and got served a bunch of food and it was awkward. Anonymous poster over and out.
- Glasseyes
- Posts: 539
- Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 7:19 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
now when s/he gets no-offered s/he'll never know if its for the awkward lunch or being absurdly long-winded and wasting everyone's time
- Glasseyes
- Posts: 539
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
^accidental anon
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Re: Bad Interview Moments
So I take it you aren't a Steelers fan?Anonymous User wrote:Can't decide if this was bad:
Have pittsburgh sports fan on resume. AM fan, but it was early monday and hadn't watched the game on sunday or read about it. Interviewer says "how about rothelesburger" who had just had season ending injury. I dislike the player, since he's a rapist, and gave sort of a dissapointed "yeah...." and we moved on to have a lovely interview otherewise.
This is an honors program so I've had plenty of time to stew on this. Bad?
None of this sounds bad.Anonymous User wrote:If all of your SA is a job interview, as is the common wisdom, then this lunch during my 1L SA should count. General background: It's a small but well-respected firm where I'd really like to get a job. The partners are laid-back but very intelligent and sophisticated, as well as at least somewhat judgmental. They're looking for a personality fit and similar traits. They hire 1L SA's because they only offer about one SA every 7 years, on average. My law school OCI director told me it's the best job that comes to campus in terms of pay vs. hours worked. The point? I want this job. Interview, check, callback, done, two weeks of summer OCI go great, and then...today.
It's a June day with perfect weather, and the partners are particularly talkative. Owing to that and sheer caprice and coincidence with various schedules, we head to lunch with a large group for us: three partners, two senior associates, and me. We're in the firm lobby, shooting the shit about where to go to lunch, and an "important" call comes for someone, then another, and then everyone (still in good spirits) decides we all just need to leave because we're 20 minutes late to lunch and fucking hungry. We hop in a partner's Yukon and hightail it to the outskirts of town, just for the hell of it, where we go to what is basically a truck stop / diner that is known to have great comfort food. It's packed, like 200 people in there. We find a table, and on the way I notice a chalkboard with SPECIAL at the top and several listings, too many to read as we quickly walk by. I do, however, notice at the very bottom there is listed: 2-pc Walleye with sides - $x.xx.
Now, I've always been a believer that you should order the special when you're out to lunch in this type of situation. I mean, it's the special, what could go wrong? It's all ready, it won't take long, they won't screw it up, and you won't stand out for ordering something strange. Besides, walleye sounded great. What a perfect day. Everyone in a great mood, going to this cool greasy spoon off the beaten path, laughing about it, and I ordered the special.
Well, shit. You know where this is heading.
The first problem is when the waitress nearly immediately brings the bread. Not bread for the table, but bread in a basket for one and handed directly to me. Despite the small basket, it's way too much bread. Like four hot wheat rolls with butter. Well, I'm cutting into the bread because goddamnit I'm going to eat whatever I get because IT'S THE SPECIAL, and all the lawyers are talking about real lawyer stuff and I'm trying to get in a word to offer this delicious hot pile of starch to other people. Then I realize that I don't have enough bread for everyone to get one, so this could get really awkward. So I'm eating bread. And the lawyers are talking. And looking at me. And talking. And I'm not offering anyone bread because they're talking and it's awkward and because math. But it's pretty good. And they're still looking at me because it's at least 45 minutes after everyone normally eats lunch and people are hungry.
Then comes a lengthy wait during which a few folks mention how busy it is and that they are hungry and could use some food. Alas, here comes the salad! Uh, turns out it's not for everyone. It's actually not for anyone else but me. Great, I love salad for lunch. So 90 seconds later the conversation between the real lawyers hits that awkward waiting-for-food lull when everyone has a conversation bubble above their heads that reads "I enjoyed that conversation, I guess, but I really want my french dip," and the managing partner breaks the silence by loudly asking me, with a special artificial, trochaic joviality reserved for cynical career litigators, "HOW'S the SAL-ad?" And I'm thinking "IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT" but I really just kind of meekly shrug and mutter, "Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, I think it's got homemade ranch." Silence. "And the tomatoes are ... beautiful." *poke at a cherry tomato* *fucking poke, poke, roll, look around* *shitthey'restilllookingatme, poke, it rolllllls away, STAB, roll, pick that bitch up with fingers, om nom*
I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them. And the ranch and romaine and whatever. The next ten minutes are awesome for me. Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation. My eyes are open but my brain is saying, "Nap time, bitch."
Then the walleye comes. Two huge fillets with homemade creamy coleslaw on a 14" plate that dwarfs every other meal at the table. It's delicious. I eat it all. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to. I'm utterly stuffed after eating 52% of it, but I ordered this goddamned thing and I'm not going to be ungrateful on the firm's dime.
Moral of the story: Ordering the special for lunch at a greasy spoon is a good idea. Not noticing that you personally, individually ordered something under the "Family Dinner Special" heading at one of the most important lunches of your life is not such a good idea.
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- Posts: 476
- Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2014 2:14 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
Walleye is delicious
- grand inquisitor
- Posts: 3767
- Joined: Thu Mar 26, 2015 11:21 am
Re: Bad Interview Moments
eating ridiculous amounts of food as an SA is what you are supposed to do. its like the partners whose metabolisms have gone to shit live vicariously through it. i cherished those awkward moments when the partner forced me to order and eat dessert alone while he/she watched and drank decaf.
- pancakes3
- Posts: 6619
- Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2014 2:49 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
wtf was that lunch story all about?
- DELG
- Posts: 3021
- Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Re: Bad Interview Moments
IDK I think the lunch story about weirdly eating too much food while everyone talks over your head like you're a toddler is pretty bad
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